Our Delayed Dreams (Dream Series #1)

Chapter 15

Chapter 15: hardships after the second storm

"I need you to listen to me, please. Kila... I need you to listen to me!"

Napapikit ako nang mariin. "Fucking bullshit!" I shouted at him. Sumugod na 'ko sa ulan. I really just can't take it. I approached him and held his shoulders tight.

I shook him lightly. "Fuck, please, I don't want pain anymore. Every single monsters that were built inside me are slowly eating me." I looked at him straight in the eyes.

"I'm tired, let me go, please." I begged as tears started streaming down my cheeks.

I was thankful for the rain. At least he wouldn't see my cry.

"Just this once, Kila, please listen to me..." Pain was and is evident in his voice.

"I already listened to you the first time. I understood you and accepted you, again. It's so hard to keep on building my trust. I don't want it to keep on breaking anymore."

"I love you-"

"Stop lying in front of me!" I lightly punched his chest. "Because it fucking hurts every time you do." I looked away.

"Hinding-hindi kita kayang saktan, Kila." I knew he was looking at me.

"Anong klasing kasinungalingan 'yan? Tatlong taon, Axel. Tatlong taon akong nakikipag-laban sa sarili kong utak. Tatlong taon akong hirap na hirap maghanap ng rason para magpatuloy." Gustong-gusto kong magpakawala ng mga hikbi.

Lumunok muna ako bago ako nagpatuloy ulit. "Hindi mo 'ko kayang saktan? Anong tawag mo dito!? Akala ko okay na, ee, kaso hindi pa pala. Mas lalo mo lang pala dadagdagan 'yung panahon ng hirap at sakit."

"Alam mo 'to?" Tinuro ko ang puso ko. "Tsaka ito," katapos tinuro ko ang utak ko. "Pagod na pagod na."

"Go home." Madiin kong sabi sakanya. I looked at him with so much anger. After that, I left him there, dumbfounded. I went back inside our house. I left him there, under the heavy rain. I did not want to communicate while I was angry.

I'm worried that inappropriate words might come out of my mouth that'll hurt him and his feelings.

"Bullshit talaga 'yon 'no? Puro salita, walang gawa amputa." Inis na sambit ni Kief.

He went straight here after his work. I don't know paano niya nalaman. Maybe Chloe called him or what.

"I'm leaving," I subtly smiled at him.

"Puta, huwag ka nga ngumiti. Nakakanis 'yan. Ngiti ka ng ngiti peke naman. Puta." He said and scoffed, he even rolled his eyes at me.

"Let me smile, even though it's fake. At least, I smiled."

"Does that makes a difference? Kila, fucking stop pretending you're fine, when in fact you're not." He sounded frustrated.

"Huwag mo na sermonan, epal mo." Rinig ko pang bulong ni Chloe sakanya.

"I can't continue imprisoning myself with sadness," I said almost a whisper. "Please stop telling me what to do, I never wanted these things to happen to me."