Till The End

Chapter 43 - Losing Self

The sky is adorning the gunmetal color embracing the darkness though it's afternoon but seems more like a starry night. Clouds are rushing from the north with gusty wind carrying cold waves of the snowy winter. I think it might rain as well after a little while. The coming storm seems to be a pretty serious one. As I stand near the wooden frame of the window glasses in my room upstairs holding my cup of coffee, I hear a beep on my phone. Placing the cup on the wooden table near me, I bring out the phone from my pant pocket. It's a message from Katherine auntie.

*I heard there's a storm heading your way. I hope you all are doing fine. Don't go out today and please tell Emi to call me. I tried calling her but you know she never picks up. Take care you both.*

*Don't worry, we're doing just fine. I'll ask Emi to call you back*. After texting her back I go downstairs to look for Emi but I find none. Nor Emi nor others but I see Winnie standing my the window frame near the entrance door doing something with her phone.

"Have you seen Emi?" I go near her. For a moments she seems startled by my words but soon regains position.

"Yeah. I have seen her going out a while back."

"What! But there's a storm coming and she went out?" God! This girl is just mad.

"Did she say anything?"

"No, I tried to ask but she was in a hurry".

"I need to go and find her. Please inform Jim if he searches for me, I'll be back soon. You know which direction she went?" I hope I can get any clue though I'm constantly trying to call her but it's switched off. I don't have much time even. The storm might attack anytime soon. I hope she doesn't get into any trouble.

"Yeah, she went towards the north", she points.

"Thanks". Without wasting a second further I head out in my sky blue woolen sweater and jeans. I don't have the time to pick up more warm clothes from my luggage in my room upstairs. That's definitely gonna take a lot of time. Though I hear Winnie saying from behind,"Don't go out. It's dangerous."

"I have to find her. Call me if she comes back before I do", I say without turning back. I hope she's not stuck somewhere or in some kind of danger. I am constantly trying to call her but it's still switched off.

Jim's POV :

It's been long I haven't seen Eila. I should take a look at her room. I head towards her room, knock the door but no one's responding. "Eila, are you in? I'm coming". But there's no one here I look around the whole room but I see none. I go near the washroom to see in she's in there or not, she's not here too. Bringing out my phone I dial her number but it's switched off. Weird! Where is she gone? I think she might be downstairs. Stepping down the wooden stairs I look around the whole inn but she's nowhere to be seen. I didn't check the basement. I almost forgot about the underground large room of this inn. As I take steps down I see Keith and Tacker playing chess sitting on the round wooden chairs while others are sitting on a stool beside them as if supporting their own team. All are blithely cheering the names of Keith and Tacker respectively but I see everyone here except Eila. There a heavy rush of unknown deep fear running down my mind. Not being able to find her in front of my eyes all I'm feeling is just utmost restlessness as if a part of me I'm losing from myself. 

"Jim, where's Eila", Emi asks me sitting from her stool.

"I think you know that".

"What? No. It's been a long since I last saw her upstairs in her room having coffee." What? Then where is she?

"But I can't find her anywhere."

"Did you look everywhere?" Sam asks but I ignore his question and run upstairs to again take a look into each and every room. She's not present here. My fear is only increasing in each passing moment. Did she really go out! It's not safe now. I run back in the hallway where I find Mrs. Smith, the blonde hair middle aged brown lady who is in charge of all the cleaning activities. "Have you seen Eila?"

"Eila?" She questions in confusion. I forgot she doesn't know each of us by names.

"She wears round specs, long black hair which runs till her back."

"Well, the girl with the sky blue sweater", I remember she wore that one after we came back.

"Yeah. Have you seen her?"

"Yes", no sooner had she said 'yes' than I find my heart pacing more fast as if it had found it's missing piece. "I saw her going out half an hour back."

"She went out? Why and Where? She mentioned anything?" I work on my questions which comes out more fast, more tensed.

"No, I didn't ask. I saw her talking with someone and then she went out. Isn't she back yet?" She furrows her temple.

"No", my words come out in a low tone.

"It's dangerous to be out at this time."

"I have to go and find her. You saw in which direction she went?"

"North".

"Thanks", I rush to my room and bring out the hiking map we were given before, running downstairs I collide with Sam, "I'm going out to find Eila, call me if she comes back before me", I hurriedly blurt the which, without giving him a chance to say further I head out running amidst the snowy ground. 

I have been searching for almost half an hour but I don't see her anywhere. The signal is also getting poor. Words can't explain my fear, millions of questions running down my mind as I'm unable to find her anywhere. Each passing moment as she's away from me, I feel losing every part of mine bit by bit. In no way I can stand the fear of losing her. Each second is passing piercing my down my soul and I am able to do nothing. I never felt this much helpless before. I never felt losing myself before. Fate united us and that was not a mere coincidence. I can't lose her like this. We were destined to meet once. I'm sure we're destined to meet again. No matter what I'll find her. I finally realize those stereotypical sayings about love when people say If you love her then you don't lose her when you can't find her, instead you lose yourself. The sky soft rush of snows from the sky all on a sudden turned wide, which is increasing my fright. I just hope she's all right.