Till The End

Chapter 72 - Fears

Eila's POV :

I wake up with the falling beams of sun rays on my face when I realize Jim isn't here. Where did he go? He was here last night. I get up from the bed and head out of my room to go downstairs where I see him chatting with John and auntie as there's are sitting comfortably on the sofa. This means they confronted everything? Seeing me getting down Jim gets up and comes near, "When did you wake up?"

"Just now. What were you guys talking about?" I face him before I face my family.

"About the further proceedings of your treatment", John replies. My treatment, this thought is too edgy. I never thought of facing something like this someday. "Okay but I'm hungry. I'll go and freshen up", I say since I don't like engaging in such talks. I don't know why but I feel too helpless about the same. There nothing I can do about this and they all have to suffer because of me. I know they love me a lot and that's the reason they're ready to go through these and this makes me more helpless as much as I admire this. 

"I'll serve the food, you go and freshen up", aunty states after which I head upstairs. The rest of the day passes like this, Jim and Emi don't go to college today day even though I insisted so much. He wanted to stay with me. Today was great to be honest since John also took a day off. Jim and John watched the football match while Emi and I watched our usual Cdramas and aunty showed all her cooking skills as she made her best dishes. Jennifer badly wanted to join us but there were none to look after the cafe since Jim's here. I really missed her. By now, Sam got to know about my cancer and I'm sure he's gonna inform others regarding the same.

We are done with dinner when Jim says, "I should take leave now". This makes my face dull. I'll never forget this day. I felt my family is complete now. "Take care".

"Go safely and do visit again to join me in the next match", John grins to which Jim agrees. 

"I'll see him out", I inform all before going to the front yard to bid him. This somewhat cold night has its own specialty. This serene environment of the night with the heavy wind never fails to soothe our mind with certain feelings of completion. The faint light from inside the house is making his ethereal face look more enchanting. "Good night", I say.

"Sleep tight", he grins.

"And go call me after you reach, alright?" We both grin at my creativity of making homophonic sentences. 

"Oookay", he replies after which I give a soft hug to him before he departs. I am standing alone amidst this foggy night watching him go. This distance feels too long to be bridged. I hope everything will be fine. I hope I'll be alright not just for him for each and everyone who loves me, for Emi, aunty, and John. I just pray for our lives to get back to normal. I just want this cancer to disappear at once. I wish there were miracles in real life too. Before entering the house I look up at the sky to see the moon shining between all the stars. I am forever that Moonchild to always just find the moon in between those thousands of stars. And this night is making it even more special.

.   .   .

New day, a new beginning with the same old problems. Jim and Emi both went to college today and hopefully, I'll be able to join them tomorrow. Today was, as usual, a normal day, I helped auntie with her works though she forbade me still I did. In the evening Sarah, Rochelle, Tacker, Keith, Sam, and yeah my Robo came to visit me. God! They're making e feel like a serious patient but I'm not. I'm good and normal but who explains them! Yet I'm lucky to have such a loving and powerful squad. I don't wanna go leaving them. Never ever! 

.   .   .

Finally, I'm in college today. Now I feel I am normal, back to my usual life. Entering the class my eyes fall on Winnie who keeps staring at me but this time there is no grudge in her eyes. All I can see is compassion. Soon she takes her eyes away after which I do the same and concentrate on others standing in front of me.

The college hour passes great, we have our same usual fun in between the lectures, everything is back to normal. We are as usual chilling at our college canteen. I just stare at each and everyone on them which makes my heart cry. Even though I try acting normal but there's a fear hiding at a corner of my mind. Fear of losing them, fear to go leaving everything behind, fear of not having such fun with them again, fear of not being able to tease Emi anymore, fear of not being able to bear Sam's horrible antics, not being able to see Rochelle unite with Jack, fear of not being able to attend the marriage of Sarah and Keith, and Emi and Tacker, my precious ones. Fear to lose auntie's love, John's care which I finally got, and most importantly my heart just hitches apart just by the thought of leaving my Robo, I fear not being able to stay by his side when he'll need me, support him when he'll break down, encourage him when he's discouraged. I fear not being able to see him achieve his dreams, not being able to cheer when he'll succeed in each and every work he'll do. I fear not being able to show my funny creative sides in good night wishes, not being able to hug and kiss him anymore. I fear not being able to call him My Robo anymore. 

(What do you think about this chap?)