Till The End

Chapter 65 - Just a Nightmare?

All I can see is darkness. A enigmatic one. My fragile heart is slowing down its beat in each split seconds. I see the door opening which a flash of light in the background and again, that familiar figure is approaching near. This time he's exactly like I saw him at the amusement park. There are age wrinkles on his face, his beard is still the same but there is melancholy in his eyes. "Eila", again that familiar voice.

"Dad!"

"I told you", this seems known. "Do you think you can have the ones you love?" Again that same sentence. This time it hurts. It hurts really hard. "Jim loved you but see". What does he mean by he loved me! He still loves me I know.

"He still loves me", I scream.

"Then why did he leave?" His question is awakening a certain part of my heart to the sane thoughts of reality, which my insane heart is perhaps not ready to accept. 

"He did not leave?" I cry but... I don't know what happened. In a single moment he got so far away. 

"Really! He didn't. Then why he is ignoring you? Why he was at the bar with Winnie? Don't act blind", David says. But I don't see the evil smirk on his face anymore. There's grief in his eyes and pain in his voice.

"There's a misunderstanding. I know", I try to defend.

"You can't have the ones you love", his words hit straight.

I jerk up from sleep. My whole body got warm, the temperature has increased. This was a nightmare. My heart is racing fast. I place my palm on my chest giving it a rub. Drops of tear automatically rolls down my eyes. This can't be true! I have to talk to him. There's sure some misunderstanding. I should call him again. I search for my phone while it's dark all around. Emi's already asleep. As I look around I find it lying beside my pillow. It's 3 at night, I see. I dial his number while my heart is still beating fast hoping he'll answer. The phone rings and but.. he cuts the call. It felt my whole world just paused. Why did he cut the call? I try again, but he cuts again. I want to cry, I want to scream but I just stay still as my eyes are hooked upon the screen of my phone. There's surely a reason behind him behaving such. I know. But in now way I can hold back my tears. I get up from bed and walk to the window. I sit on the couch leaning against the window frame and I look upon the night sky covered by millions of stars. For a while I just gasp the view. As I already said the sky is my weakness. But today, even the night is seeming indifferent to me. Every familiar thing just got unfamiliar. I feel my whole life is becoming a joke. 

I don't know how long will I live, what will happen next but I wos I had Jim beside me. As my eyes are focused on the sky all on a sudden I find a shooting star. All past memories are getting flooding up my mind. It just feels like yesterday when I enjoyed the best meteor shower of my life with him in Boston as we were lying on the sea beach amidst the cold breeze of winter. Now it seems even the meteorites are getting aberrant. Everything is getting confusing. My mind is racing towards an unknown destination. Why I saw the same dream again? What does it mean? I have no answer to any of my questions. I turn on my phone and check the gallery to see our pictures. I caress on his picture as I'm again crying. Why he became so distant all on a sudden? 
I hope I can get my answers tomorrow. I need to talk to him as soon as I reach college. I close my eyes and lean against the window frame as I keep remembering him.

"Eila. Wake up", I open my eyes as I find Emi standing near me. "Why did you sleep here?" I rub my eyes when I realize I fell asleep in the couch. "I just sat and fell asleep", I stand. 

"Ohh. Okay".

"Emi".

"I don't want anyone in college to know about my cancer", I request. 

"Why? And wait, are you sure you wanna go to college? Eila you're not well", she holds my arms.

"I'm fine", I assure, "And treatment is not started yet. I can go till then."

"But why don't you want anyone to know?"

"I don't know. I just feel it's not the right time. Please", I request.

"Okay. And Jim?"

"I need to talk to him first", I face the ground as millions of thoughts are running in my mind.

"Talk about what?" 

"About everything", I face her while she stands confused. "I'll go and take a shower first." I walk away as I don't want any confrontation right now.

.   .   .

We reach college. As I head into the room, I find others already present. The whole environment is seeming new and fresh. It's obvious after al we came back from a long tour. I keep forcing a smile on my face when they greet me and I do the same after which I take my usual seat. My eyes gets hooked upon our writings on the table. My hand begins caressing those words as I reminisce our beginning days when we were too shy to talk face to face. That a an old high school black and white typewriter romance in a world full on flashy edited digital stories where there were no edits, yet and everlasting impression. 

I try to hold back my tears and I don't want them to fall now. I look around to find Jim but he's still not here. I see Sam coming inside and I wait for seeing Jim after him. But he's not here. It feels my heart beat again gets paused. He didn't come! I rush to Sam and ask, "Where's Jim"

"He didn't come today", Sam replies with a sign on grief in his eyes. I feel my whole heart is breaking apart. Every unreal thoughts are now seeming real. My dream was right.

"Why?" I somehow manage to let my voice out.

"I don't know", his eyes are focused on mine.

"What happened? Is he alright?"

"Yeah. I don't know what happened. He didn't tell me anything. Eila, is everything alright between you both?"

"Why are you asking this?" Did Jim tell him anything!

"I can see. You said he didn't pick your phone. Winnie dropped him yesterday. He was drunk. I saw him ignoring your calls. What's wrong? Did you both fight?" He sounds concerned. 

"I don't know what happened. Even I am searching for answers. Why didn't he come today?" tears are again flooding down my eyes. Luckily we are standing at a corner where no one's actually focusing us.

"He just said he wants to stay at home. He doesn't feel like coming to college today", Sam explains. I don't know what to say, how to react. Now only Winnie can answer. 

(A/N:  Double updateee. Check next one to find the actual truth.)