Till The End

Chapter 35 - Conflicting Truths

What I can see is only darkness. Where am I? "Mom. Are you there? I can't see anything . Mom", why is no one responding? There's a sound.. maybe someone heard me since the door is opening. But who is he? I can't see the face because of the background light. 

"Eila", it's a familiar voice. No.. this can't be true. This can't be him! "Your Mom's gone", this can't be Dad. But it's him! His face is visible as he leans closer. It's queer that he's still the same. Age wrinkles are not covering his handsome face of youth. He's in the same white striped shirt he wore the day he left us. The top two buttons of his shirt is still undone while it is perfectly tucked into his black gevardine pants as it was before.

"You....", my voice startles.

"Why? Are you shocked to see me? Baby, you can't run away from your past", what does he mean? "You can never have the ones you love". Why can't I have them? Life's not that unfair I guess and why is he saying such.

"You killed my Mom", my voice comes out like pinching thorns while he glares at me with mixed expression on his face.

"So you lost the person you loved the most! "

"And you are the reason for this", I blame.

"I know. But I can also be the reason for many more things you never know", what does he mean by this? 

"What do you mean?" There is fear in my voice. 

"You are too naive babygirl", he smirks.

"Get to the point", I stare into his eyes hoping to find any reliable answer but there's only an ocean of conflicts.

"Jim loves you a lot", Jim? How come he knows about him? "Don't be surprised. But do you think you can have the ones you love?" His question is buzzing in my ear. I am having constant throbbing pain at the back of my head which is beyond control.

"Wake up sleepy head", I hear Emi calling me constantly jerking my shoulder to which I slowly roll up my eyes. "Wake up. It's evening."

As I open my eyes I realize I have been dreaming all while. Yet the dream is still fresh in my mind. The pain... my head is actually paining which is too strong to just get the tag of a headache. Rubbing the back of my head I change to sitting position. God! This was a bad dream just, nothing more. The last sentence 'Do you think you can have the ones you love?' is still buzzing in my ear. This can't be true! I am just overthinking a lot since Jim behaved weird today. That's it. There's nothing more to it, I try to calm my restless mind but a part of me is still denying to believe it to be just a dream.

"What happened? Are you okay?" Emi asks sitting near me.

"Yeah. I.. I'm okay. By the way, it's evening? Where were you?"

"I had some work. Leave it. Quickly go and get ready. We need to go somewhere", Emi asserts. We need to go somewhere? But where since we are supposed to head out for hiking tomorrow. Today I don't think we have any plan.

"Where?" I ask her.

"Don't ask. You'll get to know soon. Just freshen up and quickly get ready", I don't know what's up tp her now. By the way I didn't check my phone if Jim texted or called me since it's been a long time. As I peep onto my phone... No. There's not a single text or missed call from him to which my face turns dull and I am really not gonna talk to him now. Earlier he used to care a lot but today, he is seeming indifferent. Now even if he calls me I won't pick up. "Where are you lost?" Emi waves her hand in front of me.

"Have you seen Jim?" I hope she might know.

"He's already there where we need to go now", he's there already! What's wrong with him? He left without me!  "Okay then. I'll go and get ready". I finally get up from bed. I splash some water on my face and stare at myself on the mirror for a while. Why I suddenly had this dream? I never had any dream regarding dad in the past years. Then why today? Leave it Eila, this was just a Bad Bad Dream, nothing else.

I don't have much to do. I just comb my hair, I don't wanna tie it up since I gonna wear my cap as it's freezing cold outside. I change my pajamas to sky blue denim jeans added with knee length boots and put on on my baby pink loose sweat-shirt.  Emi's waiting for me out of the room. "Where are we going?" I ask again.

"Somewhere to have fun". Huh? Have fun? 

"Are we going alone? I mean, where are others?"

"They already reached. I am the only one left to get you", I think I slept too long.

"And Winnie?" I suddenly remember her. 

"She's also there. I mean, she went with Rochelle."

"Oh. Ok, let's go then".

.  .  .

I step my feet out of the cab on the ground and realize we are at an amusement park! This one is huge with a heavy rush of maddening crowd.

"You like it?" Emi comes from behind.

"Yeah but... Why are we here?"

"To enjoy! I already have the tickets, now let's not waste a second more", holding my hand she takes me inside pushing away this heavy crowd.

"Where are others?" I can't see any familiar faces around.

"They are somewhere around I guess".

"Give them a call", I suggest.

"I don't think it's needed. Let's go near the Ferris wheel", she again drags me. Is she deliberately trying to avoid what I'm saying? Place near the Ferris Wheel is less crowded than I expected it to be. 

Suddenly I'm not feeling good. I was not feeling such before I came here. A part of me is reluctant to take the dream as just a dream which seems more like an allegory. My heart is constantly contradicting the conflicting truths running in my mind. This restlessness! My instinct is not just allowing me to get over this. But in either ways this can't be the truth.

_________

(I wanna share something guys. After 'Till The End' is over, I'm gonna come up with my another whole new book. That's gonna be a sweet Rom-Com. I am not revealing the plot now. You will have to wait to know that. Excited to know the title? Okay, lemme say that. The title of my new book will be   "Summer Records" .  You guys are my strength. Without your support and encouragement I would have never been able to do what I'm doing now. So I hope you all to always keep backing me up and shower your love. Certainly an author is nothing without the readers. Love you all! I so wish my journey with all of you will also continue Till The End.)