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𝟑𝐫𝐝 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐏𝐎𝐕
a few weeks have passed and chaewon is still in the same state. to her own surprise, she hasn't tried taking her own life yet. she hasn't even harmed herself
"ah i guess we need to buy some food" she muttered as she stared at the empty fridge. she just started eating again a week ago but her plate has gotten smaller
she looks down at her clothes and didn't give a single fuck at how wretched she looked and left the house. thankfully, it was already late so not many people would be roaming around now
she ventured to the nearest mart and bought all of her needs for the next 3 weeks, her mum left her a good amount of money and she'll use it wisely since she quitted from her part time job at the convenience store. she still hasn't got it all back together for her to start working again so she quitted
after a good 30 minutes she finally finished buying groceries, she stepped out of the mart and took a whiff of the air. it was raining not while ago so the air still had the rain's smell, which she loves.
she then started to head home, on her way home. she saw a few people across from her, a family of three. the child was between her parents as she held each of their hands and they kept raising her up then put her back down, they did it repeatedly as they walk
chaewon stopped in her tracks as she felt sad from the sight. she suddenly felt her longing for her parents that she has been burying it inside,
'this is why i don't want to go outside'
she bites her lips as she tried to hold a tear from coming out. "chaewon?" she froze at the familiar voice, she knew who it was so she refrained from looking back
"chaewon?" she heard his footsteps getting closer to her so she quickly ran away - passing the happy family. and she lost it when she heard the dad asking her daughter, "is our sweet little chaeyoungie happy today?"
as she ran she felt the tears coming down her face like a waterfall, the same endearment, the similar name, she definitely lost it all. she began to miss her parents more than ever
as soon as she reached her house, she slammed the door open and didn't even bother to close it and quickly threw away her groceries before running upstairs
-sensitive content ahead-
she ran straight into the bathroom and opened the drawers to find an item she has been hiding for the past 3 months. once she found it, she raised it to her face as she stared at it
her precious pocket knife that was gifted from her father
her dad said it should be used when she's feeling endangered but all she's been using it is for harming herself, to get the pain away from a much greater pain
she curled up her hoodie sleeve on her left arm and clenched her fist tightly. she stared briefly at the fading scars before grazing the pocket knife slight above her lower arm
then she dug the knife into her arm, chaewon bit her lips from the pain but she didn't stop. she made a line with the knife as blood oozed out of the fresh cut.
"i-it's not enough"
she then proceeds to make another cut below the previous one and just when she was going to make a third one. a sudden voice stopped her as well as a hand slapped the knife away from her hands
she looked aside to see a worried but furious mark. "w-why did you-" "what were you thinking chaewon??!!"
-the end of the sensitive content-
chaewon ignored him and crouched down to get the knife again but her body was pulled backwards by two arms encircling her waist. mark pulled her body away and hugged her tightly before whispering a few words onto her head
"don't do this chaewon please... i don't know what i would do if you're gone"
chaewon's tears stopped as he kept on hugging her, when he felt she's all calm - he gently tug on her uninjured arm, "let's treat your cut first"
chaewon didn't reply and let the male drag her downstairs. he gently sat her down on the couch and grabbed his purchases from the mart earlier
what a coincidence that mark ran out of medic supplies and he just bought them before he met chaewon in the streets
mark silently treat her cut and chaewon only looked at his focused face. she didn't feel any pain from the ointment nor the cut, just like how she used to be - she felt numb
"i don't know how i'll be if i didn't follow you" mark quietly mumbled as he treats her cut. thankfully, the cut wasn't too deep so stitches won't be needed. after done with treating her cut, he throws away all of the trash into the plastic bag and took a seat next to her
chaewon slowly turned her head towards him and felt tears piling up so mark was quick to pull her into a hug. chaewon silently cried into his chest, the tears kept coming down but not a sound was heard from her. mark only drew little circles on her waist as an act of comfort
and on that night
chaewon let out all of her sadness, grief, loss, and pain
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