𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚎 ➶ 𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝚕𝚎𝚎

SEVENTEEN

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐄𝐖𝐎𝐍'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕

"kid? kid, you okay?... someone get her out of the house" i couldn't hear what the officer was saying and all of the sudden i felt someone grabbing my body and pushing me outside. i squirmed from their grasps

"w-where are you taking me?? i'm not leaving my mother.. m-mumm mumm.." i cried out my mum but she didn't reply so i continued to swat my hands against the officer holding my body and once i was out of his hands i immediately went to my mother's room again

i run towards her body that's laying on the ground with a white cloth over her body. i opened the cloth and gaze over her face, "m-mum? why are you so p-pale" i traced her face with my hand as i felt my body shook with tears piling up in my eyes

"hey kid, please go out of this room for now. we'll question you later about your mother's dea-" "NO, SHE'S NOT DEAD" i screamed at the officer as i wrap my hands around my mother's body and hugged her tightly while swaying side to side as cries and whimpers left my mouth

then i felt my body getting pulled away from my mother and this time, no matter how hard i tried to escape its grasps i failed. then i found myself downstairs with a woman officer keeping me company, "come here sweetie" i let her arms hug me as i cried into her shoulder.

i didn't care that i don't know her, i just needed to cry.

-

"are you all fine now?... can we question you now?" the woman officer asked me as she crouched down in front of me. i only stared at her with my hollow eyes as i can't let out a reply. she noticed so she rubs my knee for comfort, "take your time sweetie"

then she stood up and went to the other officers. i sat there quietly and for once, my head had no thoughts - it was all empty. i didn't know what to feel, i feel all numb - like this is just the same pain going over and over again

a few minutes passed by and the woman officer came back, i kinda feel bad for making her staying here and i quickly want to be by myself so i decided to just answer all of the questions now.

"are you ready now?" i nodded then she took a seat beside me. "did you remember what time you got home?" "around 9 but before 9.30" she nodded and wrote it down before questioning me again

"when you arrived at home, your mother was alrea-" "yes". "do you know why she would ta-" "no" then footsteps neared both of us

i raised my head to see another officer and he was holding a certain item, "i think we may know why" he quietly replied and gave me the item

i took it and it was a note, could it be from my mother? i opened the note and read what was written

dear chaewon

my sweet little beautiful chaewon. if you have found this letter then i perhaps i'm already gone from this world.

do know my sweet child, what i've done has nothing to do with you. it was my choice and it's not worthy to be followed. i'm sorry for leaving you all alone my child, i must've sound selfish.

i'm really ashamed of my weak self, i thought i could move on with my life after your father's death but it was all too much for me to the point i had to drink away all of my grief and sorrow, i also took it out on you my sweet child. i'm not worthy to be called a mother after abusing her own heart and soul

i envy your strength chaewon but i'm also very proud of it. i know very well that you were also broken chaewon but you weren't broken to the same phase as me, which i was so thankful to god. i'm also proud of your kind heart, you never grew to hate me chaewon - the woman who kept beating you up just to cope with her lost

yes you grew scared of me, but i don't blame you. i've realized all of my wrongdoings after i tried to kill you my sweet child, after that horrible moment i've decided to change myself to the person i used to be. i won't lie, it was very difficult but i tried my best chaewon

and it turns out, i am too weak. too weak to the point, i've taken my own life. but i'm really happy that i can spend my last moments with you my child, i'm really sorry it was too short.

i know you are strong chaewon, please do not give up on life like me. please do not be sad of my leaving, i'm with your father now and we'll keep watching over our sweet chaewon

i want you to be happy chaewon, you deserved happiness and i know you'll receive it. surround yourself with the people who support and love you chaewon.

please forgive me and remember you are strong and loved

your mother

-

𝟑𝐫𝐝 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐏𝐎𝐕

a few days has passed and chaewon was finished with her mother's cremation ceremony. she has been locked up in her house for days, she skipped school and yes they've been reaching out to her but she ignored them. she shut her phone off as well

chaewon locked herself in her mother's room as she sat on the bed staring into the wall. it was all silent to the point she can hear her own breathing really clearly

then she heard knocking on her door she ignored it but the person kept knocking so it annoyed chaewon. she didn't care how lifeless she looked and head downstairs to open it

she opened the door to be faced with a worried mark. mark's eyes widened at the girl in front of him, she looks so skinny that he can see her bones peeking out, her eyebags got a lot bigger as well darker, her skin was really pale. she looked lifeless in his eyes

"what do you want" her voice came our hoarse from staying quiet the past few days, she didn't even bother to drink water

"w-what happened chae-" "my mother died" chaewon couldn't believe how casually she could spat that word out

"h-ho-" "she killed herself" after the past few days, chaewon felt numb from the crying so she stopped tearing up at the word 'mum' 'died'. she felt emotionless

mark stood there in shock, he didn't know what to say and his silence annoyed chaewon. "that's it right? by-" "wait chaewon"

she halted from closing the door and opened it again but her eyes looked elsewhere besides his. "a-are you okay? do you wa-" "do i look like i'm fucking okay?" she snapped at him before opening the door wide and took a step closer to him

"just fucking leave me alone-" she paused before turning around and turned her head to the side, "you shouldn't get attached to me mark" she muttered before stepping inside the house and slammed the door

mark stood in front of the closed door as he lightly slammed his fist on it, he turned around and leaned on the door as his back slides down. he leaned his head on the door as he felt tears coming up

"but what if i already am.." he muttered as a tear ran down his cheek

both teenagers got their backs rested on the door that stood as a divider between them with tears running down their cheeks

fuck i'm emotional now