That Loveless Marriage(Completed)

Chapter 30

It's been a month since he left me.I already moved out in my condo and went home to our house.

My parents know it already what happened.I'm happy that they we're not diasappointed.They told me that they're proud of me because instead of thinking of myself.I put my baby as my top priority.

Instead,they confronted Blue's parents and i  knew that binawi kay Blue ang kompanya at bumalik ulit ito sa kamay ng ama nya.My parents didn't told Blue's parents that I'm pregnant since ayaw kong malaman nila at baka makarating iyon kay Blue.

There's always a right time for everything and it happens that this isn't the right time.

Malaki rin ang pasasalamat ko kay JC kasi he never left my side just like he promised.Talagang inalagaan nya ako nung masa condo ako,actually hanggang ngayon.To mention that,magkapit-bahay na kami ngayon.Hindi nya nakalimutang bigyan ako ng prutas araw-araw.Sinabi ko nga sakanya na hindi naman nya na kailangan gawin iyon dahil naalagaan naman na ako but he insisted that he always wants the one to take care of me.Since bata pa kami ay ganun sya at minsan nung bata pa kami ay may time talaga na pag nasusugatan ako eh ayaw kong ipagamot sa iba yung sugat ko at sakanya lang.So,nakasanayan na rin naming alagaan ang isa't isa to the point na pati sa buhay asawa ko ay nakaantabay sya sakin.

Sa isang buwan simula ng maghiwalay kami or should i say iniwan nya ako ay marami akong narealize.I've done too much realizition that in the end,kung sino talaga ang nagmamahal sayo ng totoo yun talaga ang hindi ka iiwan at sasamahan ka sa hirap at ginhawa.

The fact na nahihirapan na kami ng time na yon since hindi na kami nakakapag-usap ng maayos and palagi akong naka-confine which makes him think that I'm sleeping with Jace.Our relationship was wrong.I want our relationship to work to the point na palagi ko syang pinapatawad kahit na hindi naman ako ganung klaseng tao.Na handa ko syang intindihin kahit na foul na ang ginagawa nya.Tama nga sila,hindi lahat ng buhay mag-asawa ay masaya.Yes,they we're times that there are ups and downs.Na dapat nyong pagtulungang ayusin.In a relationship,hindi nyo kasi dapat kalaban ang isa't isa eh.Hindi sa lahat ng oras eh dapat sarili mo ang isipin mo.

JC was right when he said that when you are inlove you need to be selfless at the same time selfish.

Naging selfless ako nung time na nasasaktan na nya ako but in the end,napapatawad ko pa rin sya.I love him.No doubt.Kaya kahit na palagi akong umiiyak,palaging nababasag ang puso ko ng paulit ulit nakakaya ko pa rin syang patawarin because of love and i thought it won't end.I mean-hindi naman talaga natigil ang pagmamahal ko sakanya eh.Hanggang ngayon mahal ko pa rin sya.Hindi ko naman kasi matuturuan ang puso ko kung sino ang mamahalin ko eh.I became selfish the time i knew that I'm pregnant.Actually,you can't call it selfish eh kasi nagawa ko yun para sa anak ko.Gusto ko munang siguraduhin safe sya kesa sa eh secure ko yung relationship namin ni Blue that will cause me so much stress and anxiety.And it happened.It came out into break up to the point na inayawan na nya ako at burahin ang record namin bilang mag-asawa.

Cheating is never a mistake.It's a conscious choice people make.You can't just accidentally go and drop on bed with someone if you really love the one you're in a relationship with.Cheating is always a choice and never been a mistake.Loyalty is a responsibility and never a choice.

In this world where full of heartaches,tears and loneliness.Minsan masasabi mo na lang na, it's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone else.Standing alone is better than standing with people who don't value you.

You smile,but you wanna cry.You talk,but you wanna be quiet.You pretend like you're happy but you I'm falling apart right in front of your eyes but you don't even see me.And then i think that maybe i was designed to be alone.

I, Ashley Blythe Selvestre saying that...

Life will break you.Hearts are made to be broken.The saddest thing about love is that not only that it cannot last forever,but that heartbreak is soon forgotten.Someday you're gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving.You'll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken,but your life was changing.

The saddest part in life is saying goodbye to someone you wish to spend your lifetime.Though i see it coming,it still hurts.Only time can heal a broken heart.Just as only time can heal your broken arm and I'm trying my best to get quickly over it all,my heartbreak.But like a deeply embedded splinter,the more reckless i am at pulling and digging out.The bloodier and more painful it gets.We are always searching for  definitions to explain ourselves but maybe i am just a word not thought of yet.One hidden inside dictionaries swept tragically away from this earth.Perhaps one of my biggest flaws is finding the balance between challenging the ones i love and simply making sure that they know they are loved.

And,sometimes you don't get closure,you just move on.Well,for me.Blue's explanation wasn't a closure for me yet.Hindi ko talaga ma-gets,why?Bakit ganun bigla?He usually talking to me right before concluding something else,but the Blue i talked a month ago? He's not him.

A million words would not bring us back together even if we tried neither would a million tears,I know because i cried.It's sad when someone you know becomes someone you knew.

   

And death is not the greatest loss in life.The greatest loss is what dies inside you while you live.

But i know, it's not done yet.I have my child.I  can make him/her my inspiration in life to go on.My baby is my light to my dark world.My child will lighten up everything that sorrounds me.

Because....

There is nothing as powerful as mother's love, and nothing as healing as a child's soul.

-The End-