After All

30

Nagpahatid ako kila Kazel papunta sa condo namin ni Paul. I am hoping na maabutan ko siya. Pagdating ko sa condo, he's not there. I called in his office to check on him and Abby said he went there but he left already.

It's almost 8pm and he's not home yet. He's not replying to my messages. He knows that I am here and that I am waiting for him.

I dialed his number and called him, "Babe please answer. Please." I whispered to myself while I am crossing my fingers that he would answer my call but I heard the door opened. It was him. He entered the unit with a poker face without even looking at me.

"Babe, please talk to me. Wag mo akong iwan. I will do everything you want, please. Baby? Kasal? Let's do it." napatigil siya sa sinabi ko. He looked at me with his brows furrowed.

"You can't even say no to your Dad and now you'll tell me that you'll do everything I want?" he told me with so much anger in his voice. Ngayon ko lang narinig si Paul na galit.

"Mahal, listen to me first. Please." I held his hand and started crying.

"Okay" lumayo siya sakin and he leaned on the counter top. "I'll listen. Go, explain yourself. Don't tell me things that I already know."

I sat on our breakfast table facing him. "It is my dad's political ambition. First was Aries Salazar, your schoolmate." I saw him put his tongue on the side of cheeks, I can feel his anger, for the first time.

"My dad wanted me to marry him. We were actually together that time when I first met Aries. He knows that we're together that time. He is not interested with me. Dad found out about us that night we went to Tagaytay. I have to leave you so he will not hurt you or what." I told him.

"Do you really think I am that weak or shallow minded para hindi maintindihan yung sitaution mo that time? Do you really think that my love for you is that shallow that I cannot fight for you?" he said with so much frustration from his voice.

"Mahal, hindi. I love you that much that's why I chose to leave you. Hindi ko kaya makita or malaman na may ginawa sayo si Daddy. Paul, mahal na mahal kita. And I am willing to suffer that time just to save you." hindi ko na napigilang tumulo ang mga luha ko sa mga oras na 'to.

"Fuck that reason, Lia! Do you really think that I didn't suffer that time? Hindi mo ba naisip na mas masasaktan ako after leaving me without any fucking reason?!" he sat on the chair near me and shook his head. "Napaka selfish mo, Lia."

"Mahal, please. I am willing to do everything you want. Let's get married. Kahit ngayon, pakakasalan kita. Wag mo akong iwan. Hindi ko na kakayanin na mawala ka sakin ngayon, Paul. Mahal na mahal kita." I pleaded to him.

"Honestly, as of now I don't know if this relationship is still worth fighting for. Hindi ko na alam kung worth it pa ba akong mag stay sa relasyon na 'to or if it is still worth it to fix this." he stoop up and leaned on the countertop.

"Love, naririnig mo ba ang sinasabi mo? We're talking about our relationship. We're talking about us. Am I not worth it?" I looked at him.

"No, Lia. Am I not worth it? Deserve ko ba ang lahat ng 'to? 8 years! I am so in love with you for 8 fucking years. Iniwan mo ako ng walang sabi sabi, ngayon nandito ako ulit sayo kinalimutan ko lahat ng 'yon. Mahal kita, sobrang mahal na mahal kita. Pero eto ang babalik sakin? Am I not worth it to stay in your life?" he looked at me and suddenly I saw his eyes in a different way. His eyes looks weary and not dreamy anymore.