don't expect a happy ending

The downward spiral continues towards the bitter end

sweet pov:

I saw a tall man seemingly in his late 40s rose up from our couch. I have a pretty good idea who that is. “sweet”, he said.

Nanatili akong nakatayo sa gitna ng sala at hindi nagsasalita. Kinikilatis ko ang lalaking nakatayo sa harap ko. Hinawakan niya ang magkabila kong braso, umatras ako to break free from his touch. A disappointed look was on his face.

“Sweet. Si Benjamin Loyzaga.”, pakilala ni Tita Maya sa lalaki.

I know that name! this just confirmed my suspicion. My so called dad. “what is he doing here?”, I asked. Sinadya ko talagang si Tita maya ang kausapin dahil ayokong irecognize ang presence ng bisita namin.

My tita maya opened her mouth to answer but Benjamin Loyzaga cut her off. “Sweet. Andito ako para maging tatay mo.”

“Thank you for the offer but hindi ko na kailangan ng tatay.”, mataray kong sagot.

“Sweet. I understand why you are repulsive of me. But please. Let me explain my side.”

I smirked. “Fine. By all means. Do explain.”, bakas pa rin ang sarcasm sa boses ko.

Tumikhim siya at naupo. Reluctantly naupo rin ako sa maliit na sofa na nakatapat sa kanya. Tita Maya was staring at me as if asking me to cooperate. As much as I want na pumunta na lang sa kwarto ko at mag-iiyak dahil kay Rainvir, nakinig na lang ako sa bisita para lang matapos na. I want to get this over with as soon as possible. I don’t want to have anything to do with this man.

Benjamin Loyzaga is a good looking man. Kahit may edad na siya ay makikita pa rin na iyon. Halata na may pinag-aralan ito dahil sa kanyang pananamit at sa kanyang postura. He talks well too. Malinaw at may sense of authority kahit pa nasa mukha nito ang panlulumo. I wonder what it would have been like to grow up with a dad like that. Rich. Intelligent. And mabait? Ewan ko! Paano ko malalaman ang ugali niya when I barely know him? Iwinaglit ko na iyon sa isipan ko. Hindi na maibabalik ang pagkabata ko. I already grew up without a dad and im fine with it.

He continued to tell his story. He met my mom during one of his business trips in cebu. At that time daw ay bagong open pa lang ang hotel branch niya na iyon kaya matagal siyang nag-stay. BUmabalik balik siya ng Manila whenever he has the chance to pero naging madalang na iyon nang magsimula silang lumabas ng mama ni Sweet. Marami pa siyang kinuwento but I only got bits of it because my mind is still travelling somewhere else. The stormy weather outside. The pain in my heart. The guy who inflicted it. The fact that Rainvir’s mom hates me because I am an illegitimate child.

May asawa na siya around 3 years before he met my mom. Nagpanting ang tenga ko doon. May asawa na siya pero nagawa pa rin niyang makipagrelasyon sa nanay ko. Hindi ba talaga nakokontento ang mga lalaki? Ginawa pang kabit ang nanay ko! Men are beasts. Naniniwala na ako sa ganun ngayon. Ipinagtapat daw niya sa asawa niya na nagkaroon siya ng brief affair sa Cebu at pinatawad siya. At that time din nagdesisyon sila na pumunta na sa States para magpafertility treatment dahil hindi pa rin talaga sila nagkakaanak.

“I bet hindi ikaw ang may fertility problem.”, I quipped. What? Its true! Nabuntis nga ang nanay ko diba?

Sandaling natigilan si Benjamin Loyzaga I saw his jaw ticked bago siya muling nagsalita. “Yes. After almost 2 years, nagbuntis ang asawa ko but she miscarried our baby.”

Kinurot naman ang puso ko knowing that an innocent life died, but I still cant help but think na karma iyon.

“After 3 years, she finally gave birth to a healthy baby Girl.”, at that he had a smile on his face.

“Well I bet that just made you so happy.”, I said sarcastically. “A daughter.”, I spat the words at him. a little voice inside me whispered a happy glee because I have a little sister pero hindi ko iyon pinansin. Mas nangingibabaw ang galit ko sa lalaking umabandona sa amin.