Our Parents Pain Came With Love

Chapter 39

-YANDISWA BESS
I knock on Mr and Mrs Bess’s door
“Come in”
Ama says, I open and walk in. Dae is sitting on the bed and Ama is sitting on the couch busy with her tab
“Sit”
Ama says and I sit beside her on the couch
“Mah, Dad I have something I need to tell you”
I start off and Dae puts his tab on the pedestal and so does Ama
“Ok?”
Ama says
“Looks serious”
Dae says and I nod
“It is”
I say, I take a deep breath and slowly let it out
“I never told you guys how Yanga was conceived”
They both look at me, I begin to narrate the events of that night as every bit of memory comes back to me

***Flashback***
He got on top of me and sat on my thighs and held me on either side of my arms and shook me vigorously. I could smell the alcohol in his breath with a hint of mint. He was drunk but not enough to pass out like me. I guess this was us now. Alcohol was our coping mechanism. Normally he comes home a little less drunk but today was different.
Him: she’s gone Yandiswa. Our baby is gone; he took her away from us
He sounded angry and that alone scared me, I’m used to him being pissed and lashing out on other people but not me. it was new to me. he was so heavy. I tried to push him
Me: fuck you!
Him: swear at me all you want she is not coming back. He led her to her death
Me: NO! I want her back. I need my baby Melokuhle. I need her
I don’t know why I was crying but something about him saying the things he was saying felt so wrong, I know she was gone but for him to put it the way he was putting it didn’t sit well with me
Him: you want a baby.
Me: get off me
Him: you said you need your baby mos
Me: Get the fuck off of me. you drunk.
Him: so you can talk after all.
Me: get off of me
I said trying to push him off but he was heavy and stronger than me. I lost weight kaloku mna and I was half drunk.
Him: you said you wanted a baby. You said you needed one and that’s what I’m going to do, I’ll give you a baby
He said that pinning me on the head board with both my wrists held together with one hand and pulled my pants down and ripped my panties apart with one hand only. I don’t know how I was suddenly laying on my back flat on the bed but I was, he pulled his underwear and pants down and then shoved himself between my legs. I was now crying with my eyes shut
Me: please just off me
Sex when dry is painful straight up.
Him: look at me
I shook my head with my eyes closed.
Him: you want a baby don’t you? Look at me Yandiswa
Me: please just stop
I said shaking my head with my eyes closed
Him: LOOK AT ME!
He roared and my eyes shot open. The look in his eyes is one I’ve never seen before, he looked pleased with himself, he buried his face in my neck and planted soft kisses all the way to my boobs where his other hand was squeezing each boob. I just laid there waiting for him to finish up. The pain below was unbearable; it was just plain painful. Sex is not nice if you not wet. He went in and out repeating the same words “I’ll give you a baby” I cried to a point where my voice wouldn’t come out any more. He didn’t stop until he came inside of me and then he got up and went to the shower. The pain between my legs could not be put into words. I cannot believe he just did that to me. his wife. I pulled up my pants because my underwear was ripped apart. I got up and used the wall to help me walk to the guest room and locked myself in and slid down by the door and just cried. I wanted to scream so loud but my voice failed me dismally. I just sat there and endured the physical pain between my legs and the emotional pain which I am yet to find words to describe it. I didn’t want to believe that what had happened was real. I kept hoping that it was a nightmare and I would wake up from it any minute now but nothing. Nothing worked. I tried pinching myself but even that didn’t do me justice. He raped me. My HUSBAND raped me.
***FlashBack***
“Yandiswa why didn’t you tell us all of this?”
Ama asks and I shrug
“I knew how you and Mr Bess would have reacted to the situation especially after what happened to Asemahle. I knew you guys would have probably cut Melo off and I didn’t want that for him”
Ama sighs
“Does Yanga know?”
She asks and I nod
“Yanga once walked in on Sino and I arguing and Sino blurted it out that Melo had raped me. We had to sit the children down and tell them everything”
I explain and she nods, I look at Dae
“I guess if you and Melo worked through it then really there's nothing we can do about it. Why did you suddenly decide to tell us?”
Dae says and I shrug
“Because of the possibility of it resurfacing and you having to hear about it from the news instead of us”
I say and they both nod slowly
“I guess what's done is done and there's really nothing that we can do about it. You chose to forgive him and we can't hold it against either of you”
Ama says
“You and Melo have come too far and whatever happens now you and him can only bounce back from it. I am however sorry he did that to you, I am sorry you went through that. I cannot imagine how it must have been like for you to go through that alone”
Ama says rubbing my knee, I smile
“Thank you Mah, I appreciate that”
I say and then excuse myself and leave them to it, I make my way to my room and videocall Melo who answers instantly
“If I didn’t know better I would say you have been waiting for this call”
He chuckles
“not really, I was reading an article on my phone”
He says and I smile
“how did your meeting with Austin go?”
I ask and he shrugs
“We will talk about it in person my love. How’s home?”
He asks
“I just spoke to your parents, I told them everything that happened about how Yanga was conceived”
I say
“And I’m assuming they hate me?”
I chuckle
“They could never hate you Melo, you not the men you used to be”
I say and he sighs
“They are disappointed in me though”
.
.
To Be Continued