Loosen Up, Black!

Death by Girlfriend

*Surprisingly, I have nothing to say before we start, Enjoy!*

I hate life, in general. Short and simple. I HATE LIFE! I trudge down the stairs from the dormitory. Another sleepless night and of course my body decided to make my day worse. Lemme explain real quick here stay with me, so since Sirius and I are attempting to have a normal slow-paced relationship, I went off the pill to save money and shit right, yea well that was the biggest mistake of my life because now my insides are tearing each other apart worse than everrrrrrr and are slowly killing me and increasing my already unpredictable mood swings so yea. DEATH! I struggle to keep my face emotionless once I reach the common room. Then I spot Lily on the couch.

"Mummmmm" I whine sitting next to her and leaning my head on her shoulder and I pull my knees up so I'm curled up in a ball against her. Instinctively, Lil wraps an arm around my shoulder.

"Already" she whispers next to my ear. I only nod. The Mary looks up at me with knowing eyes and sighs.

"Well, hun, a tad different than usual isn't it," Mary says softly.

"How do you guys do this?" I groan, "I also really want some hot chocolate" Alice shakes her head with a small smile when she overhears me, as she and Frank slip out the portrait hole. My bets on snogging, no way Alice wants breakfast yet, it's too early for her. Lily continues to hold me while we wait for her boys so we can go down to breakfast. Dorcas came down before the boys and realized rather quickly I was not in the mood for jokes and smiles.

"Well, you look like shit" laughed Dorcas. I simply held up my hand and casually put down all my fingers except my middle, mentally apologizing to her for me being a dramatic bitch.

"Oh- it's, well, shit, see y'all at breakfast.........maybe!" realized Dorky as she finger gunned and turned on her heels and exited the portrait hole. 

"Fuck" I mutter under my breath clutching my stomach. Then, I hear the thunder of feet coming down the boys' dorm's stairs.

"GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD Morning Lily- Flower," spoke Sirius, "oh! Marly are you ok?!" He was instantly in protective boyfriend mode which I usually would find cute and sweet but right now I feel like he's viewing me as weak.

"I'm fine" I snapped sharply sitting up straight, glaring at him. He looked taken aback for a moment, but he quickly shook out of it, literally. He looked into my eyes and I'm pretty I melted and let my emotional wall down just from that one look. This caused me to reach out for him, he flinched away at first but realized I needed a hug and he quickly hugged allowing me to wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face into the nape of his neck.

"What's wrong" I heard James whisper to Lily. I could almost feel the look she was giving him, but she said nothing.

"Oh" I heard Remus almost chuckle, he must've figured it out.

"What?" "wat??" asked James and Peter.

"hmm" hummed Sirius.

"Did she actually go off?" asked Remus to Lily, neglecting the other's questions.

"She did, surprisingly, and she's regretting it" I responded for Lily my voice muffled

"What did you do, baby?" whispered Sirius in my ear. I'm already emotionally unstable but him calling me baby pushed over the edge and tears prickled in the corners of my eyes. I pushed him away and stood up and walked out of the common room without another word. I knew the others would think I'm going to breakfast but instead, I slipped into the only secret passage I knew and I followed it to the Astronomy tower. I sat down in a small corner and stayed there hoping no one would find me.