Inevitable - sidnaaz Journey post BB

Inevitable Part 37

Though he told her they will speak tomorrow, his mind was still wrapped around the same topic.. and she saw it on his face as always..

"Kya soch raha hai Sidharth?"

"Mein? Kuchh nahi.."

"Mein batau tu kya soch raha hai.. "

"bataa.." he got up from the floor and sat on the sofa facing her.. one of his leg folded and his elbow resting on the back of the sofa..

She mimicked his position holding a pillow on her lap..

"tu ye soch raha hai ke mujhe tuzse abhi kis baare mein baat karni hai.. aur tu uske jawab kaise dega.. aur jawab to sab ke hai tere pass, but wo tu mujhe bina dukhaye kaise bol payega.. "

He smirked at her thinking 'she reads my mind so accurately all the damn time..'

"sahi pehchana?? Bataa??" Shehnaaz asked alrady knowing she was corret..

"hamesha ki taraf sahi jawab baby"

"Hain na?? sahi pakadti hu mein tuze .."

"par aisa hai to tuze itne sawal kyun hai mujhse fir? Jawab bhi khud hi dhund le apne sawalon ke.. mujhse kyu puchh rahi hai .."

"Kyunki mujhe samjha aata hai but mujhe samajh ni aata"

"waah kya baat kahi hai Shehnaaz.. " He looked at her in amusement.. "samajh aata hai but samjh nahi aata.. kyaa baat kahi hai.. genious hai tu"

"oyy chup karr.. tuze pata hai meri hindi kharab hai.." she looked at him laughing at her fumble..

"sunnnn meri baattt... mere kehne ka matlab hai mujhe samajh aata hai tu kya kehna chahta hai.. but mujhe ye nahi samajh aata ki tu kyu wo kehna chahta hai.. mujhe tere loggic ni samajh aate.. itni intelligent hun ni na mein..." she tried to explain him what she meant, both her hands trying to gesture what her words couldn't..

He smiled at her efforts pulling her by holding both her hands.. "Achha chal bata kya nahi samjha.. mein samjhata hun.."

"pehle promise kar gussa ni hoga.. " she said pressing her index finger in between his eyebrows, subtly begging him to keep his calm and not get mad at her again.. He made a face at her..

"Tu ho jata hai na?? tuze bhi pata hai tu jaldi gussa hota hai .. "

"aur tum?? Tum to bilkul Gautam Budhha ki behen ho.. "

"mein gussa ni hoti.. mein hurt hoti hun fir mera mann ni karta baat karne ka.. farak hai dono mein.. tu gussa ho jata hai.. aur fir mujhe hi aake tuze manana padta hai"

"achha chal na paka mat abhi.. puchh kya puchhna hai.. khatam kar.."

"Tune wo post kyu dala tha?? Mujhe dukhane ke liye??"

'Chidhane ke liye.. dukhane k liye"

"kyu tuze ni pata tha mujhe dukh hoga agar tu kisi ke baare mein aise kuchh likhega??"

"nahi.. mujhe laga tha tu thodi irritate hogi but mujhe laga tha tuze samajh aa jayega aise words mein Shruti ke liye bilkul nahi likhunga.. but mein bhul gaya tha ke tu bilkul gadhi hai.."

"kyun nahi use kar sakta? Mujhe kyu lagega ke tu nahi use kar sakta uske liye ye words jab meine tuze khud dekha hai wo words apne muh se bolte hue usko??"

"usko?? Meinee??? Tere saamne kab.." he asked her shocked, but realization dawned on him before he could finish his own sentense...

"Kya kya bola tha wo party mein tune usko.. ? yaad ni tuze? Mujhe tab bhi hurt hua tha.. meine kaha tha tuze.."

"To jaise us time tune chillaya tha mujhpe is baar bhi chillati... phone tune switch off kar diya.. How was I supposed to explain you?"

"kyunki mujhe ni sunna tha wahi sab wapas.. ke majaak tha.. did not mean anything.. trust nahi hai n all.. mujhe lagta hai.." she stopped mid sentense.. looking anywhere else except at him..

"kya lagta hai.." he asked tugging at her hand which he was still holding..

"mujhe lagta hai tuze majaa aata hai mera dil dukhake"

He did not like that.. "achha..? sahi hai sahi hai.. " He said irritated .. he left her hands and raked through his hair..

"dekh.. meine kaha tha.. tu gussa hoga.. "

"to tu kuchh bhi bolegi bakwas aur mein sun lu..? "

"bakwas ni hai kuchh Sidharth.. Sach hai.. tuze pata hai Sana to kahi ni jaegi.. wo to reh hi ni sakti tere bina.. to tu jo marji chahe kar, jo marji chahe bol, tuze pata hota hai aake meine hi sorry bolna hai thodi der mein.. abhi bhi dekh le.. tuze pata hai.. ke galati teri thi.. fir bhi tu hi gussa ho raha hai kyunki tuze achhe se pata hai, tu gussa hoga, to mein pareshan houngi, mujhe taklif hogi, aur mein fir har chij ki maafi maang lungi aur tu fir se ye sab karne ke liye free ho jayega.. "

He was stunned to hear all that.. He did not know what to think of it.. was she right? Did he do that subconsciously? He tried to retrospect and remember what his intentions were when he put that post. He clearly remembered he had posted it to tease her.. he knew she would be mad, but he knew he had another post that would make her very happy..

Whatever it was his intention was clearly not to hurt her.. But then why does she think that? He knows Sana is not someone to hold grudges for long.. She speaks her heart out and then forgets about it quickly.. So in a way he is happy she said all that out, but he does not like it that he made her feel that way..

"itna kya soch raha hai.. " she asked worried looking at his face.. "chood itna mat soch.. meine bas bol diya jo mujhe bolna tha.. tuze to pata hi hai mein tuzse ni reh pati jyada time bina baat kiye, na hi mein tuzse kuchh chhupa sakti hun hia na?? itna mat soch.. mein bhul gi ab wo sab.. "

He gave her a long stare, collecting his thoughts, finding the correct words to explain her his side..

Making his resolve, he pulled her close holding her hands.. he cupped her face and pressed his lips on her forehead..

"abhi mein jo bol raha hu dhyaan se sun samjhi? "

He looked at her eyes, making sure she understands he means whatever he is about to say.. she gave him a small nod and he continued talking..

"to meine wo post dala tha kyunki us din hum log dinbhar ek dusre ko tease kar rahe the..? yaad hai? tune jab tak Guru ke saath post nahi dala tha tab tak mere dimag mein ye sab cheej thi bhi nahi.. mein sone se pehle tuze bata kar sone wala tha ke me mom ko set pe lekar ja raha hu taki tuze tasalli rahe ke mom ke set pe hone se Shruti will be in her limits.."

"Tuze agar hurt karna hi hoga to mere liye bahot aasan hai Shehnaaz.. uske liye mujhe Shruti ki bhi jaroorat nahi hai.. aur wo aasan isliye hai kyunki tune hi mujhe wo power di hai jaise meine tuze di hai.. hai na?? " he gave her hands a quick tug making sure she is with him..

"Tu mujhe pehle se nahi janati hai na Shehnaaz.. tu mujhe tabhi se janati hai jab se tu meri zindagi mein aayi aur mujhe meri hi ek alag side dikhayi.. agar tumne pehle wala Sidharth dekha hota to shayad tuze pata chalta how much I have changed because of you .. The old me, would have never tolerated this.. never.. if someone did not pick up my call, I would bloody not care at all.. no one could even question me like this.. you hold that power over me.. and when you say I do it to hurt you, you couldn't be farther from the truth.. I do it because I am scared.. I am scared all the time that you will find someone better and leave me.. and then I will be broken all over again. I could be wrong.. totally wrong for you.. but if there is one thing you believe in life, believe that I will never do anything to hurt you intentionally.. I am not capable of doing that.. "

*** TBC ***