Loving You Again (GirlXGirl) (On Hold)

Book 1 - Chapter 10

Book 1 - Chapter 10
Hayley's POV

I have no idea what's going on between Skylar and I. No idea whatsoever. I guess we are technically friends and we have been since the other week when she accosted me under the tree by the soccer field.

I'm still surprised by that to be honest. I tried to cut things off with her after that first weekend I spent at her place because, honestly, I couldn't deal with it. I didn't want the emotional investment of whatever the fuck it is that happened that Friday night and then the next morning. I didn't want her to be burdened by my personal life and tragedies. But I also didn't want to be her gay science experiment either. I really didn't want to be used like that.

I thought I had managed to cut things off with her successfully but then she just showed up saying she was into me. She was just so fucking confident about it that it really turned me on. I knew I found her attractive since the day I met her, but the more she kept talking the more I realized that I had started to develop feelings for her. They weren't super strong feelings, but they were definitely there.

When she finally asked if we could just try and be friends I agreed thinking that's what we would actually be. Despite her declaration about being into me and confidence in the moment, I didn't think anything would happen, and if it did it wouldn't be for a while... but then something happened like four hours later.

It's impossible to peg this girl. One moment she can be all sweet and innocent and then the next she is outrageously confident and sexy. I have finally decided that I'm going to stop trying to figure her out, mostly because I don't think it's really possible. And the same goes for her sexual orientation. I still have no fucking idea what she is and I really don't think she knows either, but I honestly think she meant it when she said she was definitely gay for me.

We aren't dating but we also aren't really just friends either. I have been going to her place right after school every day except the ones where she volunteers at the hospital but even then I still go over to her house when she is done. We have spent every single day together for the last two weeks, and I even spent last Friday and Saturday night here again. Sometimes we study or talk when we are together, but mostly we spend the majority of the time making out. A lot of the time she is actually the one who initiates things which is why I really don't think she was lying when she said she was gay for me.

While we have been making out with each other literally every day, that's all we do. She hasn't tried to push anything further and she stops me when I try to. Usually when I reach a point where I have been spending this much time making out with someone, things have progressed quite a bit by now, but that is not the case with Skylar. That's where I'm really confused on what's happening between us. Making out is fun and all but I'm interested in moving things along, she doesn't seem to want to though. She said we could try and be friends and see where things go and yet, things aren't going anywhere.

We seem to be stuck and I don't know if that's because she is scared or nervous or what. I know it hasn't been very long, but she hasn't tried to ask what it is we are doing together, what we are, if we are dating or not. She doesn't seem to want to be the one to ask, but I don't want to be the one to ask either. I'm partially scared to ask because I'm afraid it might scare her off and I'm having fun. But a major reason why I don't think I should ask is because technically I still have a girlfriend.

I know Madison and I haven't spoken in months and at this point I guess I could consider the relationship over, many probably would, but I know it won't ever really be over until one of us actually says it. Madison and I have been together for about three years and we drift apart sometimes, and even see other people in between, but we always found ourselves back together at some point. We have never drifted apart this long before but until one of us actually says something there is always the possibility that we could end up back together at some point.