Loving You Again (GirlXGirl) (On Hold)

Book 2 - Chapter 12

Book 2 - Chapter 12
Hayley's POV

As I stare down Skylar's apartment door, I start to lose my nerve a little. I think about backing out for a second, but I have already come this far. So, I take a deep breath and quickly knock on the door before I can talk myself out of this. Within seconds of me knocking the door opens and I see Skylar smiling at me from the other side.

"Hey," she says and I instantly smile back at her.

"Hi," I say and her smile grows a little more before she steps aside and let's me into her apartment.

I walk past her and let my eyes quickly glance around the apartment. I notice the couch and the tv mounted on the wall with a coffee table sat between them. There's an armchair to the side. The back wall has shelves full of books with the top shelf containing what looks to be family pictures. I notice one of her and her dad with the Golden Gate Bridge in the background. She looks like she was a teenager when the photo was taken and I can see that they were both really happy.

I don't know what I was expecting to see when I walked in here, but this is nicer than anything I could have imagined. It feels warm and like a home. It's very unlike my house looks which feels like you just walked into an interior design magazine, which was completely intentional seeing as that's what Madison does for a living.

"So," Skylar says behind me. "You wanted to talk." I nod my head as I turn around to see her standing in front of a now closed door.

"Yes. Can we sit down first?" I ask and she silently looks at me for a moment before nodding her head.

She makes her way over to the couch and I follow. She sits down on one side while I sit down on the other. I make sure to sit far enough away from her that she isn't made uncomfortable, but not so far that I couldn't reach out and touch her if I wanted to.

"So, what was so complicated that you couldn't tell me last night?" she asks with a raised brow.

I take a deep breath to prepare myself. "So, I'll just say it, I have feelings for you," I admit, not wanting to waste any more time. "Feelings I have never had for anyone else before," I tell her and she looks at me in confusion.

"What do you mean?" she asks and I run my hand through my hair as I take a second to think about how to explain it to her.

"I mean, I love Madison. I always have, but there has never been a time where I was in love with her," I tell her. "I never felt any kind of deep romantic attraction to her, not like I have to you," I admit and the confused look on her face appears to grow.

"So you've never been in love with her?" she asks and I shake my head. "But I thought you've been together since high school? I mean, you married her for fucks sakes and you're telling me you've never once been in love with her?" she asks and I instantly frown.

"This is why I said it was complicated. She and I don't have a normal relationship, we never have. Before we got married we were always together on and off. We would date other people but would always end up back together, not because we were in love with each other, but because that's what we did," I try to explain. "We used each other emotionally and physically. While her childhood wasn't exactly like mine, it had a lot of similarities so she understood me in ways no one else did. She was there for me when I needed her and I was there for her when she needed me. We were like each other's safety nets," I finish and she shakes her head a little before leaning back on the couch.

I silently look at her, wishing I could tell what she was thinking but I don't have even the faintest idea.

"So why did you marry her then?" she asks and I shrug my shoulders slightly.