Chapter Twenty Six

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Happy belated Christmas, everyone! Hope you had a great time!

*****

“Sometimes before it gets better,

The darkness gets bigger,

The person that you’d take a bullet for is behind the trigger.” ~ Miss Missing You, Fall Out Boy

*****

I wake up breathing heavily. If I thought that the nightmare would grant me peace after I had lived it, I was wrong. If anything, it is now intensified, because now I know its real, and I know the consequences. Pulling myself out from underneath the covers, I begin the morning walk to the bathroom. Well, morning run. The nausea overtakes my body and I wrack in waves of pain and sickness over the sink.

When I’ve tidied up the mess of my insides, I poke my head out of the door. Callie is still curled up on the harsh wooden floor. If I’ve offered her the bed once, I’ve offered it a thousand times, both with me and without me in it, but it is never accepted. She wont break down the boundary she’s created to keep herself from me, no matter what the cost.

The morning bell rings, but Callie doesn’t raise herself. She curls her form up tighter into that self-protecting shell she wears, shutting the rest of the world out. It seems an extreme method of ignoring me. I wonder why she would do it. Anyway, she’s going to be late for breakfast at this rate.

“Callie?” I ask softly, sitting on the edge of the bed over her and swinging my legs back and forth; they don’t quite reach the floor. Just like I can’t quite reach my dreams. But I can’t forget them either - lying there, she’s still beautiful, still my princess, still the first and only dream that my soul will ever make. And I miss her so, I do. Like hell.

The eyes of the victim of the love she doesn’t want and the hate she doesn’t deserve opens her eyes.

“Callie?” I ask, “Why did you lie to the testers? How did you lie to them?”

She blinks up at me, eyes wide full of sadness and surprise. She didn’t think anyone would notice. How can I tell her that love is the only real eye-opener?

She looks down again at her pyjamas. “I don’t want to talk to you, Amber.” Her voice is crackly and her hair is mussed up in a halo around her face; she’s a mess.

I stand up. “Fine. Get dressed. I’ll take the bathroom.”

She doesn’t reply, so I just leave. By the time I’m dressed, she’s gone, leaving her blankets in a disheveled pile marking the place where she slept just a few minutes ago.

*****

She doesn’t turn up to breakfast.

Or lunch. 

And when I see her at dinner, she’s sat across at the other side of the room on her own. She only stays for five minutes.

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