Aurora Cycle One-Shots and Random Musical Interludes

Squad Duet/Deleted Scene: Saeler (You Matter To Me)

SAELER! SAELER! SAELER! SAELER!

Yesh, this is a little high for our friend Tyler. I imagine though that based on the scenario to come, Tyler is singing really softly and sweetly. He's singing in a way that is trying to engender love and trust, perhaps using half volume and some falsetto. ...Ok, a lot of falsetto. But he's being sweet! 

Accompanying song: "You Matter To Me" cover by Rachel Tucker and Lee Mead.  (Feel free to use whatever cover is your favourite, including the original from Waitress. This one is the one that I thought suited their voices the best in my little Betraskan head~)

Saedii

Tyler and I have yet another argument. I had once again tried to give the squad the slip and escape while they were docked at a spaceport. Tyler has been trying to convince me that I'm not in any danger on the ship, but honestly I am right to be a bit jumpy. Kaliis and Aurora openly despise me, though Kal is trying to show restraint under orders from his alpha. Finian and Zila are completely afraid of me and avoiding me, and Scarlett has only made the barest attempts to be civil, as she has to acknowledge that I helped her brother escape with his life.

The fight takes a turn and gets even worse, turning into a real screaming match. Despite my best efforts, I can feel myself starting to cry in anger, as I explain to him once again that my father, the only person to whom I mattered, is dead. Tyler tries to contradict me, but I finally yell,

"NO Tyler Jones! The ONLY person who ever cared about me was someone that you would classify as my abuser. How am I supposed to respond?! 'Ah yes, thank you for taking that count from 1 to 0! I'm so glad to have nobody. Thank you for enlightening me."

I touch the glyph on my forehead.

"His cause was my entire life. What am I meant to care about now? You Terrans are all the same. You're right because everyone else is wrong. But don't take my word for it. After all, I don't matter anymore." And with that, I storm off to my quarters like a child, slamming the door and sitting on the floor with my back against the wall.

I let my tears fall in here so that I won't show weakness in front of the others. Why am I here? I sigh. Why do I even care? After all, nothing is keeping me here.

I am startled when I think I hear Tyler through my bedroom wall. But I soon realise that it's just his thoughts. He's trying to keep them to himself, but they're too loud. I only need to focus slightly to listen as, to my utter amazement, he begins to sing quietly to himself. His voice is the softest I've ever heard it, singing in a sweet light tone.

*press play and just keep it rolling*

"I could find the whole meaning of life in those sad eyes."

As he sings, I consider quietly the actions of my father. How he ruled with an iron fist. How he never praised and only punished. How he returned from the Echo and barely recognized me. The chill in his actions in the years that followed. How no matter what I did, it was never enough. Did I ever truly matter to him? Or anyone for that matter? But then I heard Tyler singing that I... mattered to him. He promises.

I swallow hard and start to return his song, my thoughts filling with memories of Tyler. How he lifted me into my bed when I was injured despite my protests. How he fought with the Terrans who came to torture me. How he, even at his angriest moment in the holding cell, never lifted a finger to harm me. Our flirting through our thoughts. Our closeness in the supply closet. How he sacrificed himself to let me escape, without any way of knowing whether I would return for him. The trust in his eyes. I sing out my own realization, knowing Tyler can hear my thoughts: You matter to me. Simple and plain, and not much to ask from somebody. You matter to me, I promise you do. You matter, too. I promise you do, you'll see. You matter to me-"

I am forced to stop, too choked up to continue. An image of my face is suddenly projected into my mind as Tyler shares his own memory. My face leans in amid disruptor fire on the bridge of the TDF ship to give him a kiss on the cheek. I can feel the spot on his cheek even now, burning with warmth. I can hear his heart pounding in my ears.

We sing together, both experiencing his rush of affection mixing with the despair over maybe never seeing her again. Of the possibility of watching her - I mean my - death at the hands of the TDF. The hope when I make it to the escape pod and eject. The thought flitting through his mind as he resigns himself to death: "I hope Saedii made it out alive."

Tears fall from my eyes. I'm so overwhelmed that I hadn't even noticed Tyler coming into my room to sit in front of me. His tears mirror my own.

A different question. Why am I fighting this? Whose battle am I fighting in resisting how I feel for Tyler Jones? My father is dead. The Unbroken are no more. Even when I run away, what am I running to? All that's left is possibly the only person who genuinely cares about me, and he's sitting here across from me. He's said he's not going anywhere. I look to him, and through his thoughts I can tell he wants to embrace me. Wants to apologise for the things he said in anger. Wants to brush away my tears. But he won't touch me without my permission, even now. I barely register the sob escaping my lips as I bury myself in his arms, closing my eyes as the tears fall onto his shoulder. This feels warm. This feels safe. I feel... protected. Loved. I must have spent a million years in his arms before I finally cry myself out.