Looking for a place to get honest feedbacks and improvement tips on your story? Want to know what readers think of your story?
If yes, then let me assure you that you are at the right place. Hop into this review shop and get honest but polite amd co...
Cover (9/10): Your cover is nice. Simple and beautiful. It shows love, care and desire between the characters and is also contemplating the genres which you have chosen. The only problem is that the font used to write the title is not going with the cover. They are not going well with the background. Plus, the author's name is not that much visible because the background is almost white. So, do something about these things.
Title (10/10): I loved the title. It totally suits the book. Simple yet effective and easy to remember. The title also intrigues a reader's mind. It is also very different and is meaningful too. I mean, you have not named the book for the sake of it having a title. Many people do it (even I have done for one of my books which I'll publish), but you didn't and chose a very unique title.
Description (10/10): The description is intriguing. Enough to attract a reader. It seems like a simple yet complex love story like most teen fictions. What sets it apart is Daisy's bad luck. Makes it seem like there's more to her life than just falling for a hot guy who's broken inside. The true eye catcher is the question at the end. 'What happens when Daisy learns that around Dustin, nothing ever goes wrong?' This definitely has one thinking, Dustin could be her good luck charm. Let's see how it turns out!
Grammar (8/10): Your grammar is nice. I found no mistakes in tenses or anything like that. Your punctuations are on point too and use of capitalization was used wisely. But I did find many spelling errors which made some sentences meaningless. Please look at these things carefully next time.
Presentation (10/10): Your presentation is nice. You are using title for naming the chapters really nice. It intrigues the mind of the reader what will happen in that particular chapter. You can make banners too for chapter headings or thanks for reading ones. It will make it look more nice and attract more readers.
Writing Style (8/10): Your writing style is great. You have nice way to say and convey things and I have to say, you really have a nice sense of humour. I laughed a lot while reading your book. This made me hook to the book more. I really liked the idea of chapters being shown in different POVs. But I have a problem here; the starting line of the story is not catching the attention at all. Its already mentioned that she has bad luck, why start asking that to everyone? You could've put this line in the between. That would have been great. And you could have started with the scene where she thinks it's actually a weekday on a Sunday. This incident grabbed my attention more than the starting line. You should also make conversation longer between characters to make it more interesting. And you sounded very casual when you told she tells about her dad. Okay the girl has been having bad luck since forever but that doesn't mean she will have to sound like casual over these types of things. Show a little bit emotion in it. Otherwise, everything is nice.
Characters (14/20): Your characters are nice. They are nicely put out for the readers to understand and be with them throughout the story. I found every character intriguing and interesting, especially Mia. I also found both the main character's problem very intriguing. I just didn't get one thing- why have you put the "bad boy" tag. I mean, Dustin does not comes out in anyway as that kind of boy. He comes out as sweet, caring, funny and a helpful guy. Noah comes out as a bad boy. With all the talking and dressing, Noah is giving out the bad boy vibes. So, redo the tags or make Dustin's character according to it. You should also put Kevin out there first for the readers to know him before the 'thing' happened. And put out Jasmine more. I quite didn't understand her character. One time she is being a nice friend and then being the jealous friend. This is not making her personality good. And Daisy is behaving like a Disney Princess. I mean, she hasn't spent that much time with Dustin but after just one or two encounters she is like 'I like Dustin'. Make the characters spend time more. In this way we will get a hang on them and know them better.
Plot (18/20): Your plot is different and original. From the starting of the chapter till the end- everything original. But it was a little bit cliché at the same time. I am saying this because there is a bad boy (according to you) who meets the nerd i.e. good girl and he has an ex(es) and just the story goes on. But it is very different from the other stories I have read here. Its not your usual bad boy x good girl story, which is really nice. Some people tend to change the problems of the characters and then put out the same old story line. But you didn't and totally took a U-turn in telling your story which I really appreciate. But, At some places, I found the story moving very fast. Like Daisy and Dustin's 'special moment', Jasmine and Noah getting along, etc. All of this happened in just one snap. Make more scenes between all the characters. This will make the plot interesting and the story too to read. We will get know more about the situation everyone is facing and love the characters and the story more.
Overall (87/100): I enjoyed reading your story. Its funny as hell, making you frustrate with the characters and wanting to come over there and live the moment with them. I totally recommend it to others. Thank you for choosing me as your reviewer for letting me read this amazing story. Just try to make changes for things which I have pointed out and then we are good to go.
Thank You
PS: To be honest, when I read the title, I thought the guy's name is Luck and the girl's name is Fate.
