Broken Hearted Boy

Chatper 17

Chapter 17

        What is going on in my life right now? Oh yeah, like hate me and I am cursed. No shocker there. "Hunny, you do know that if the police come we will have to-", I cut her off, "Yeah, yeah. I know. Tell the truth." I rubbed my head and felt a bump starting to form. I groaned. "Well, you shouldn't of started banging your head on the table." Amanda said as she sat down next to me. I looked at her and rolled my eyes. She could of burned that video awhile ago. Why hold on to it? Everyone is starting to go against me all of a sudden. Maybe, I don't belong here. Maybe, I belong in hell with my parents. I shook the feeling and looked at Mom. She was whispering something to Dad and he just kept nodded. Are they scared that I am going to hurt them or possibly kill them? I mean I would never do that but people think differently about you after they learn something about you that they never knew before. Or did they know and just wanted me to confess to it? I looked at Amanda and said "What am I going to do?"

"Well, you can confess and spend 25 to life or we can burn this tape and run." Amanda said with that evil smile of hers. I chuckled but then rage started. How come she hasn't burned it yet!?

"Why haven't you burned it yet?!" I got loud, so loud and I didn't even realize it. I stood up and looked at her with my hands in a fist.

"I thought you wanted to see what you did. Relive the moment and feelings."

"Why would I want that!!"

"I don't know Jordan. You have always been a little different than other boys." she smirked and got up and stared directly into my eyes.

"Fuck you Amanda." I walked away and up to my room. I hate my life. I hate her. I hate everyone whose back I now see. I hate it all. I hope I die. I hope everyone in down there knows the pain that I have... then it hit me. Do it. Kill them. It worked with your parents, why can't it work with them? I shook the feeling and flopped on my bed. I grabbed my phone and called Raven. Please, pick up.

"Hello?" Raven said calmly.

"Raven! Where did you go?!" I was histerically, I was crying now.

"I had to go Jordan. I'm sorry... but....but it isn't gonna work between me and you.. I just...I'm sorry." The phone went dead, and so did I. I put my face into my pillow and screamed. This isn't right. Why would life give me all those good things and then just push them away from me. Is that how it works anymore! I hate you life. I hope life gets karma. I sat up and felt as the tears started to pour out and it was hard to breathe. I was crying to hard that it felt like my lungs were collapsing. Hopefully, they were. I want to die. I want to be dead. I don't want to be here. I don't want to be here. I don't belong here. I belong out of this world. I think it's time that I do that. Remove myself from this world. Get out of here. I need to leave. Not runaway, leave this world. Go to hell. Burn with my parents. Let them see what their son turned inot because it's their fault. It's their fault that I am like this. It is their fault that I don't belong here anymore. They made me kill them, they really did. They caused it. They could of lied and they didn't. They just went along with the flow. They were both assholes. I hate them both. I hope that if they can hear my thoughts, I hope hope hope, that you guys know that I hate you. You guys didin't belong here either, that's why I did it. You guys didn't belong here. I could sense the non-belongness in you because it was in me. I did you guys a favor and now I'll rot in hell for that. Funny how that works. I got up and walked over to my desk. I sat down at my desk and grabbed my exact-o knife. I breathed in and out. I can do this. I put the blade to my wrist and started to paint my wrist with red paint.