Broken Hearted Boy

Chapter 7

Chapter 7

        I was crossing the road when Ashlie came up from behind me and tapped my on the shoulder. I sighed and said "Yes?" 

"Well, I never got a thank you for helping you in the classroom." she said. There it is. The typical girl that she is. The one that she has been trying to hide forever now, has finally came out. 

"Well, usually when someone sticks up for somebody it comes from the heart because you care about that person not to act like the school princess and queen, Ashlie." I wasn't having a good morning because the adults were arguing about something this morning. I am pretty sure it was about me. See, all I do is make things worse and hurt people. I don't belong here. I don't want to be here. I want to be nowhere, where only I belong. No one to tell me any different or judge me. 

"Wow. You're a jackass." She stormed off with her pony-tail swishing back and forth. I chuckled lightly and sighed. I got that alot from girls as well. I put my hands in my pocket and realized that I don't know where my IPod is. "Shit." I said outloud, very loud.

"Well, that is defaintly not that type of hello I was expecting." It was Raven. She come out of nowhere but I was happy she did. I missed her, I have been missing her. I am always missing her when she isn't around.

"Oh, I'm sorry." I laughed lightly and she did as well.  

"So, what happened yesterday?" 

"What do you mean?" My heart started poudning. Did she know someone in my class?

"Well, I have detention today and so do you. So, what happened Jordan?" 

I got silent. I don't really want her to know what was going on in my mind. Things that weren't supposed to be thought, I think of but I push them in the back of my mind. 

"How'd you find out I had detention?" I asked, trying to swerve away from telling her what happened.

"Well, outside the detention door there are our I.D. numbers for who has detention the next day and to be honest, you are the only one who doesn't have on so when I saw all the zero's I knew it was you." 

"Oh, I didn't even know we had to have those things." I made a face and stuck my tongue out at the idea. She started to giggle. Her giggle made my heart melt and I smiled lightly and finally learned that maybe, falling for her wasn't so bad. 

"You're funny, and adorable. Two great things." She looked up at me and smiled. Maybe, she wasn't liike everybody else. She was like me just in a different way. Was that a good thing? Yes. Was it scary? Hell yeah. Was it worth it? Fuck no. That's when I shook the feelings out of my system. This is true. All of this crushing and pain is not worth it. No point in getting any closer to her because who knows how long I'll even be here for. 

"Yeah..Thanks." I walked through the school doors and went straight for my locker. I needed to prove that I don't belong here. I don't think that Raven realizes that. If she did she wouldn't be acting the way she is. I bet it this is all a game set up by that Troy asshole. She probably knows I like her and is just messing with me. How typicall. Is that how all the girls here act. When I got to my locker, I dropped my bookbag and groaned. Someone broke the lock and took all my books out of my locker. Why would someone even do that? I sighed and pick up my bookbag and started to head towards my class. I get it, everyone here hates me for what I did in the past but they don't know the truth and they never will because they will never get close enough for me to even start to explain why it even happened. "Hey, loser!" I heard Troy yell. I kept walking. Ignore it Jordan. Ignore it. He isn't worth it. He is a losey person. Ignore it Jordan. I finally reached my tutorial class and when I walked in I realized that Raven was in this class as well and she sits next to me. Wow, what a fail on my part. I walked over to our desk and sat down. 

"Why'd you storm away from me like that?" She looked almost disappointed. Not hurt just upset that I left her hanging there. 

"I...uh... didn't want your friends or whatever click you have to see me with you. I don't want to make thhings bad for you. That's all." I lied, in a way I guess. I don't really know right now. 

"Jordan, do you think I am embarrased of you or something?" She turned her body towards me this time and I saw her eyes. For the first time we were eye to eye and it made my heart skipped around. I felt like crying for some reason. I knew why. She made me feel as if that she was here for me, honestly here for me. I wanted to cry because I felt like she was someone I could cry to and tell all my secrets. 

"I don't know... I mean my past is why everyone hates me.." she cute me off. 

"I don't hate you Jordan. I don't care about your past and you shouldn't either. Whatever you did, which I don't know what that is, but that's not the point. The point is that you had the nerve to assume that I hate you and I don't. You make me feel like someone actually want to hang around me, for me. Not for what this school does to me."  she looked out of breath and I finally caught mine. She doesn't know my past. That me breathe finally because I thought maybe that she was just messing with me. Her eyes looked glossy like she was going to cry. Damn it! Why do I fuck everything up? Fuck me. 

"I am sorry Raven... I didn't know... I didn't think... You don't understand.... I just thought..." I was fading out, I didn't even know what to say. What was there to say except sorry. What else could I do in order to save this, whatever we had. 

"Look, Jordan" she sighed and looked at the ground, "I like you, a lot. It's hard for me to act normal around someone I want to be with. I have never felt this way for a someone. I think I am falling for you but I won't let myself because I am scared of falling Jordan." She looked up at me and it looked like she was thinking to herself, like she was reveiwing what she just said so it would make sense. So, she understood that feeling? That's how I feel right now. I shook the thought. That doesn't mean she'll understand me or the rest of me. I don't understand what is going on with me. 

"Raven, I know what you are going through. I am going through it right now..." I paused and looked at her directly in the eyes, "With you." 

She smiled slightly and moved closer to me. My heart started to pound and it felt as if it was going to break my rib cage. She got closer and I could feel her breathing. She moved her face and kissed me on the cheek. My heart finally exploded. I finally smiled for real this time. I grabbed her and I hugged her tightly. I felt her arms wrap around me. What am I doing. Tears started to come from my eyes and I finally realized that this is where I belong. In her arms. She is where I belong. I finally found where I needed to be always and I found what has fixed me. She is what I need to stay alive. She is where I belong forever.