Broken Hearted Boy

Chapter 19 ~ Letter to Amanda, My Lil Sis

Chapter 19 ~ Letter To Amanda, My Lil Sis

        Dear Amanda, My Lil Sis:

                What happened? Why did you do this to me? I don't understand how you can just do this to me. You just left me for the birds. I don't understand you anymore. You grew up and like changed. What happened to the whole family pact that we had? I don't get you. When I look at you I see a complete different person. Why is that? Is it because of your husband? There is a part of me that thinks that I should take you with me but I'm not going to. I am going to make you suffer in a different way. No one is gonna have your back anymore. I'm done being that person. Keeping you up on your feet. Now, you'll just fall flat on your face and I'm fine with that. I won't be here to say sorry, I'll be with my parents. There. Are you happy now that I am leaving and never coming back? I can't do it anymore Amanda. You knew this was gonna happen or you would of stopped me from telling the story. You would of stopped me from running to my room by myself. You had a feeling that I was gonna be leaving. Is that why you showed up? To see me alive and breathing one last time before I leave and never come back. I can't explain to you what you have done to me. I really hope that you understand that you have helped kill me. I don't belong here, just like my parents didn't belong here. I tried to outlast them Amanda, I really did try. It didn't work. I am not that strong. I can't go on anymore. If the rest of my life is going to be like this then I don't want to be alive at all. It's just how it works with me at the moment, in my brain set. I think that you know how my brain works. You have always known, you were there with me when it all went down. You taped it, why? Why did I let you do that? Did you know that it was gonna haunt me? Have you been against me (secretly) the whole time? I think you have. No scratch that. You have. I can tell now. I know that you have been. The man you are married to is the man who wanted to put me in jail. You knew that though. You had of because you were there with me at my court hearing. I really hope that you feel horrible. I want you to go away but I'm doing that for me. I am going away so you can stay away from me. I am never gonna be next to you or in your heart and if I do cross your path, I am going to haunt you. It's how it is going to work. I think it's about time that you see the pain you put on me because I know you don't. You shoud of stopped me from killing them Amanda. I wouldn't be in this mess, I woudn't be leaving, and I'd still have Raven. I really blame alot of this on you. You were the one with the car and keys. You could of picked me up and shoved me in the car and just drove but no. It was like you were prepared for it, like this was all planned out. You planned it all out. I really hate you, know that? I really do. I hope you know that and I hope it haunts you and when you die you'll be down in hell with Mommy-O, Daddy-O, and Me. Sounds fun doesn't it? Yeah, it does because then you can be in more of a hell with me. I really wish that you didn't do this to me but hey wishing never works so I mean it's whatever. Goodbye Amanda, don't miss me because while I'm rotting in hell I won't be missing you.

~Yours Sincerely,

                        Jordan