Broken Hearted Boy

Chapter 20 ~ Letter To Mom And Dad, The Ones I Love Most.

Chapter 20 ~ Letter To The Mom And Dad, The Ones I Love Most.

        Dear Mom And Dad, The Ones I Love Most:

                        Hello, Mom and Dad. Wow, this is hard. I can barely keep the pencil still with how much I am shaking writing this to you. I never wanted to ever write you a letter like this but this letter will be long and please read it all and put all these words in your heart. I want you guys to know something. I love you guys. I will always love you guys. I will miss you guys the most. That is why I am having a difficult time with this decision because of you guys. I don't want to leave you guys. I want to stay here with you guys and only you guys. I wish we could go away and live where no one else can but that's not possible in this world so I mean why would you even think about that? I think about it. I tried to find a place a few weeks ago but it didn't work. I've been with you for a 5 months now and loved every day of it. In the beginning I hated being here and now I don't want to leave. Funny how that works, huh. I guess not. I mean it is but it isn't. I guess you can say that deep down I have my own ways of doing things. I don't know. Mom, Dad I love you guys. I'm sorry that I don't say it often but I need you guys to know that with all my heart I do love you both the most. Out of anyone I've ever known, even Raven, I love you both the most. I look at you guys like my real parents. I let you guys in and something that I don't let anyone do. You guys were the first and you guys are now the last. I won't be able to make new friends, get married, have a job, and give you a grandkid. I am sorry. I am sorry that I am about to put you through the same thing that you were put through with your own child. Your own child died and now your other is about to. I am sorry, I really am. You have to understand me though. I know you understand me, deep down you do. You know I have to go. You know I don't belong here. You know I have to leave. I get that maybe you don't want to think about this or even see it but don't worry everything will be better once I am gone. Things will go back to normal, you guys can adopt a baby and start fresh. Teach them what you taught me. Love, and Family does exists. I used to think that it was a fairy-tale. Perfect family and what not but now I see that it isn't. It is real and I am happy that I got a taste of it for a little. You taught me things that are unteachable. Taught me things that the real world wouldn't of taught me. I know that you guys are probably crying by now, reading this and seeing me gone but it's okay. Cheer up, don't cry. Mom, you know I hate it when you cry and Dad take care of Mom. She needs you more than ever right now and you need to be here for her. You both need to be here for each other through this time of my leave. You need to know that I also will miss you guys. I will always be with you both though. In your hearts and everywhere you go. Maybe, I'll send you guys signs that will let you know I'm here. If it even works like that but where I am going I don't think it works like that. I won't haunt you or anything evil but I'll be here. I want you guys to keep that promise that we made last week. You know what it is and I don't have to write it. You may have forgotten it but you'll remember after you are done reading this. I am scared to leave. I admitted that I am scared to you both because I know that you both are here for me but I won't call out for help this time. I am going ot man up and grow a pair. I can do this, I can leave and this isn't any of your fault. You both have done nothing to contribute to me leaving. I am being honest. I will not have that guilt on you. If you want to blame someone, blame Raven and Amanda. They chipped in on this, they really have. You both know it and Mom I knew from day one that you never liked Raven so it really doesn't change anything right now on how you feel about her. I hope that you can forgive me though, for what me leaving you. I am sorry. I really am. I never wanted to hurt you guys so if I do then I am so sorry. I love you both with all my heart and soul to death. Hah, death is being serious right now though. Well, I am going to leave now. You are the last ones I wanted to write to. I don't know why I just did. I saved the best for last. I love you Mom. I love you Dad. Chin up, Don't cry, Smile, and Don't Forget Me. I love you both so much.

~Your Son,

                Jordan