Her Last 50 Days (Completed)

Day 50

Dear diary,

Thank you for letting me meet Jasmine many years ago. Meeting her as that little Mon-Mon in the park was the happiest day in my life. Yun ang araw na unang ngumiti ako ng dahil kay Jasmine, she was the ray of sunshine for me. Mon-Mon ang tawag sa akin dati dahil mahilig akong manood ng Doraemon and I had an obsession with stuffs related to it. I was crying that day dahil si yaya lang ang kasama ko dahil kapwa busy ang parents ko. However, Jasmine encouraged me to play and she held my hand as we experience my very first shower in the rain. I asked her name and she said she was Jasmine and when I was about to tell my name she said she already knew my name was Mon-Mon dahil narinig niya kay yaya and she then went running to go home. I was happy to meet a new friend but after that, I had no chance to meet her again because we had to move into a new olace kung saan na assign si dad.

I was away for many years not having any idea of her during my elementary days. Not until my third year in highschool when I was back to study in Lorent's Academy. Akala ko wala na akong pag-asang makita siya ulit but  I was soaking wet in the rain that day dahil wala akong dalang payong and she offered me an umbrella dahil may rain coat daw siya.  She was bubbly and I knew that it was her because of that very familiar smile. The next day I asked from a classmate of mine if what's her name. Two years I was just staring at her from afar--no, I was liking her from afar. Hindi man kapani-paniwala but I've grown to like her for years. She had many friends, she's bubbly, she's kind at naging student officer din siya and I thought maybe she had already forgotten a mere kid she knew once in the park. Nagpatuloy lang ako sa pagsubaybay sa kanya not having the courage to introduce myself and get rejected. I continued liking her from a distance hanggang sa college. I entered on the same university with her but I had a different course but that's better than not seeing her at all.

I managed to observe and follow her secretly at the university. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pagdating sa kanya ay nawawalan ako ng lakas na magpakilala. Ilang beses ko rin siyang nakitang nawalan ng malay sa university and one time hindi na ako nagpaligoy ligoy pa and brought her to the clinic. I just left after making sure na may nurse na magbabantay sa kanyan. I was okay with that set-up not until second semester came and one day, she was rushed to the hospital and I heard that she was sick. During that time, I dropped out of school because my parents are planning to migrate in U.S because Dad had an offer into a prestigious hospital there. Hanggang ngayong taon nalang ang stay ni Dad dito sa hospital kung saan si Jasmine naka confine. Since I was dropped out, I always come to the hospital to bring food or visit dad but it was just a reason for me. Ang totoong dahilan kung bakit pumupunta ako doon ay para magbakasakaling makita ko siya or if I check if she's fine. Nalaman ko ang room niya at dumadaan lang ako paminsan minsan to check on her by the door glass.

I always throw a coin in the wishing fountain sa hospital. Simula ng pumunta ako doon ay naging habit ko na iyon. If I can't help those sick people then the least I can do is to pray and wish for their healing at kasama na doon si Jasmine. I was always there hanggang sa isang araw ay nakita ko doon si Jasmine sa garden. She was on a wheelchair tulak tulak ni Nana Ester. She was looking weak and that's when I realized, if not today when will I have the courage to get closer to her? Kung kaya't sa sobrang taranta ko ay binigyan ko siya ng piso at sinabing "fighting". Kabado ako that time and I was surprise the next day,  na siya na mismo ang lumapit na sa akin.

My life started to bloom that day when finally I was able to held her hand and heard her say "Hi, I'm Jasmine". Doon nag-umpisa ang storya naming dalawa. Simula nung araw na iyon ay nakuha ko ang atensyon at tiwala niya. I was doing my best para magpa-impress but it was sincere, yun ay sa pamamagitan ng mga bulaklak na kasing ganda niya. Pero mapaglaro nga ang tadhana dahil ang sakit niya pala ay malala na. I never thought that she was terminally-ill, I cried because of the painful possibilities na mga naiisip ko.

I stayed beside her as long as I can at naisipan kong bilhan siya ng bucket list notepad para sa mga wishes niya. I was willing to do anything para mapasaya siya. She was actually clueless that I have known and loved her for a long time already at hinayaan ko na lamang na ganon. I did everything para ma fulfill lahat ng wishes niya. May mga araw na masaya siya pero mas maraming araw ang nahihirapan siya sa sakit niya and that was too cruel for me. Masakit masyado sa puso at mata ang makitang nahihirapan siya. I confessed to her and she also said "I love you". I was happy with those days that I am with her. Walang araw na nawala siya sa isip ko. Mahal na mahal ko siya! Sa bawat ngiti niya ay dobleng galak ang nararamdaman ng puso ko ngunit mas doble rin ang sakit sa tuwing umiiyak siya sa sa iniindang karamdaman.

Until one day, the doctor said it was already a dead end. Wala ng pag-asa at hindi narin nila alam hanggang kailan ang buhay niya. It was the first time na nakaramdam ako ng sobra sobrang takot. I was scared to lose her. Mahal na mahal ko siya. Instead of being discouraged ay mas lalo akong nagpakatatag para sa mga gustong gawin ni Jasmine. I looked for ways to make it possible sa bawat wish sa bucket list niya until this day, we celebrated her 21st birthday. Sa December 13 pa sana yung birthday niya pero nagcelebrate na kami dahil baka hindi niya na kaya. Ako na ang nag-ihip ng candle niya dahil hindi na siya makabangon pa. She was terribly struggling, minsan ay pumipikit na ang mata niya dahil sa sakit.

Nasasaktan ako, kaming lahat na pakawalan siya. But if letting her go means erasing all her pains, I will be willing to do so.

"I love you Dominic. Thank you for being the beautiful twist in the last minutes of my life. Please promise to move on and find your happiness someday. Never hold onto me because I'm tired. I can't hold that long anymore" hirap mang magsalit but she managed to ask me while her eyes tearing with sad droplets.

"I promise. I love you too. Goodbye, my Jasmine" that's all I could say and helplessly intertwined my finger into her cold pinky finger as a sign of my promise.

My heart will always remember you, my love. This is not goodbye.

                  -Dominic (August 03, 20XX)

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A/N:
Please play media above.
Song: This Is Not Goodbye by Sidewalk Prophets❣️

(This song is really 💔. Ngayon ko lang to napakinggan dahil nagbabakasakali akong baka may kantang "This is not goodbye" as you can see sa last sentence ng update ko. And besh, medyo masakit yung kanta. Naiyak din po ako)

Thank you so much kung nakaabot ka sa pahinang ito. Salamat sa pag-appreciate ng short story kong ito. I don't know why I have a thing about tragic stories but I find them beautiful. Maybe I'm one tragic realist.

Still promoting my web story entitled: Ghosted (a thread). Please check my fb account: Rine Aquilisca to read po.😊

Thank you so much. Lovelots❣️