close your eyes and feel me

23

Hi everyone! Hope youre doing well!
This is a very short chapter, but i hope you'll like it :)
Dont forget to drink water with this heat right now (and think of your pets) and wear your masks and wash you hands :)
Reminder that Black Lives Matter is still a movement to follow, and that your feed is not supposed to go back to normal if you really care.

Take care of one another.
Hope you like the chapter :)
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Charlotte knew, even if it made her angry, that Sidney was right. There were many reasons as to why they could not get married, not even engaged, yet.

Firstly, Sidney and Eliza's engagement was newly off. People would definitely talk, and half of London was friends, or maybe sometimes related, to Eliza. With Sidney leaving for Antigua, their engagement would be the talk of the year in the city, and Charlotte would be alone to face it.
Secondly, Sidney was leaving for Antigua. What would happen if he did not come back? He would leave charlotte widowed, at such a young age, with nothing.
And finally, there were no crew that would allow her on a ship like theirs.

Sadly, it seems that their year apart would be an unfortunate experience of their life, but if it meant spending the rest of it together, it was worth it. Wasn't it?

Still, charlotte was incredibly saddened by the sooner than later departure of her lover. Sidney was leaving for antigua in a week already, leaving them so little time together.

Nonetheless, it did not stopped Charlotte from sneaking into Sidney's room, without being noticed, once a day. Nothing would happen, but the two would spend their time discussing and , sometimes, arguing over books, art and even politics. Every now and then, a kiss would be stolen, leading them to the bed.

But Sidney was truthful to his word, he would not touch her before marrying her. So as hard as it was, after all, Sidney knew what he was missing, unlike charlotte, he controlled himself from going further, but most importantly stopped the little devil that is Charlotte Haywood from doing anything.

On his last day, Sidney felt sick all morning. Knowing he was about to say goodbye to charlotte made him nauseous and dizzy, and he did not looked forward to see her one last time before leaving.

He went to Susan's home to say goodbye, because he was sure that there would be no eyes to see, and no ears to hear the two of them. Outside in the garden, near the rose's, the couple was standing face to face, hands in hands.

Sidney didnt want to say much, but rather kept looking at charlotte's face, trying to memorize everything, every little details. Her lips, the little sparkles in her eyes, those big, curious brown eyes... He already knew that his mind had not forgotten what she looked like - he had dreamed of her too much the past year not to - but still, he needed to analyze everything, remember everything.

Charlotte, on the other hand, wanted to talk, but didnt know what to say. What do you say, when the love of your life is forced to go away? How could she promise to be there when he came back, if it was his return that was unsure?
How could it be enough to say « i love you » when her whole heart, body and soul was longing for him?

- « i have to go... » he said, finally looking down on the ground, almost guilty.

Without hesitation, charlotte brought him closer to her and kissed him right away. Their skin in contact, his lip touching hers, the sweet taste of his mouth... oh, how was she supposed to last a year without this?

Still close, Sidney held charlotte in his arms firmly and put his forehead to hers. Both of their eyes closed, they were taking this last moment to breath in, together.

- « I'll be back before you know it. » he tried to sound hopeful, but even he could not believe this would be easy in any way.

Charlotte grabbed his face by her hands, locking their eyes into each other.

- « you come back to me, Sidney Parker. » she instructed him. «  do you hear me? Or I'll never forgive you. »

Sidney gently smiled, knowing how scared his Charlotte was.

- « I promise. »

Here he was, making promises he already was unsure to be able to keep. Nobody knew what were to happen to him, only God.

One last kiss, a long, passionate kiss that screamed « i love you » and « you belong to me ».

Sidney left before he changed his mind. And just like that, they both were apart, again.

Before she could realize it, it took a month and a half before receiving the first letter from antigua. Weirdly, it was not from Sidney himself...

To miss Charlotte Heywood,

Miss Heywood, my name is George MacKay, and i have been put in charge of writing this letter to you in the name of sir Sidney Parker.

It is with sadness that I must announce to you that mr. Parker have become ill for the past few weeks, and is believed not to survive the end of the month.

With the strength left in him, he asked me to deliver you this message :

My Charlotte,

I cannot come back to you, but please know that you are here with me, in my heart. My body and soul belong to you.
I have never loved anyone the way i loved you, and i am the luckiest man there is to have been loved by you.
May we meet again, when you have lived a long and prosperous life.
I know we will.
Ill be waiting for you.

With all my love,

Sidney.

As she read the letter, charlotte's heart was racing incredibly fast. Realizing now that the man that she loved could be dead at this very moment, she did the only thing she could : she screamed in agony, dropping on her knees in the middle of her bedroom.