Heartbreak Girl~Cethany {DISCONTINUED}

Chapter 22

~Bethany's POV~:
"Bethany I know something happened. And I'm guessing it involves Derek. I'd be lying if I'm not in pain by the thought of you running back into his arms but I can't control how you feel and I'm not going to hold you back from him. If he is the one you want." He sighed after saying what he wanted to say. I knew I hurt him.

"Connor I didn't mean to hurt you. Derek did something to apologize for what he did and I'm having a hard time with how I feel right now. I don't want to hurt you or him. So I'm letting both of you go. I can't be in love with both of you and I can't pick between you so I just need to be alone right now...I'm sorry." By now tears were falling slowly down my cheeks and pain covered Connor's face.

He nodded, "Okay. Goodbye Beth." He walked past me and got into his car. I didn't look at him. I just sat on my porch and cried. I hurt my best friend. He and I will never be friends again. It will never be the same even if we try to go back to that. And for Derek? I don't even want to think about what it'll be like since I told him I can't be with him. I broke two hearts and I ruined everything between me and them. I can't handle this.

I went up to my room and got ready for bed. I laid in bed forever just thinking until I fell asleep. Some more tears fell. I let them dry up on my cheeks, not bothering to wipe them away.
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2 Months Later
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I walked through the halls like I have been for two months. Alone. I haven't talked to Derek or Connor since I told both of them that I can't be with them. I thought it would bring me peace but it's only hurt me. I miss them.

I don't think Derek misses me anymore. He started dating a girl named Charlotte last week. At least he finally moved on. Connor looks worse every time I see him. The bags under his eyes get darker and he looks like he's in pain. You know how Peeta kept looking terrible every time Katniss saw him in Mockingjay Part 1? Well that's kinda what he looked like but not to quite of an extreme.

He mainly talks to Ricky now...sometimes Tyler. I feel bad for him really. I didn't realize that what I did would go this far. But in the end I do feel like I made the right choice. Connor will get over me soon and it'll be okay. He will find a girl who deserves him. Someone who won't constantly hurt him like I have been.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't still have feelings for him though. Pain is just a consequence of love. I wish it wasn't but I guess that pain always occurs eventually. No matter what.

The semester ended last month so I got a new schedule. I don't have to sit next to Derek anymore in AP French or next to Connor in math. In fact I don't share any classes with Derek anymore since he's a senior and I'm a junior. But I do have my photography class with Connor. We sit at opposite ends of the room. Always avoiding eye contact. One day this girl named Becky, who sits in front of me in that class, asked me why I never talk to Connor anymore since we had been such good friends a few months ago. I simply told her that we fell in love and we weren't ready. It was the truth put into a simple explanation, obviously skipping a lot of details, but it was enough for Becky. She just gave me a sympathetic look and said she felt sorry for me before turning back around to face the front of the classroom.

I made it to my photography class a few minutes early and slid into my usual spot. Connor walked in a minute later and took his spot. A few other students came in and took their seats. I just want to go over to Connor and apologize all over again. I want him to stop feeling so sad. I want him to stop hurting but if I go over there he might never move on. And he needs to move on. So I just sat in my spot and didn't look over at him like I have been for a month. Cause that's when we changed classes...a month ago.

The class still hadn't started and I couldn't take it. I asked my teacher if I could go to the bathroom even though I still had a minute until the bell rang. I was going to be gone longer then a minute. She let me go. I walked quickly out of the hall and headed towards the bathroom. A voice stopped me in my tracks right before I opened the bathroom door. "B-Be-Be-Bethany?" The shaky voice was similar to Connor's but it sounded more sad and pained. I turned and sure enough it was him. He stood about two feet away. Just the sight of him made me feel like I was about to cry.

I didn't care about him forgetting about me. I didn't want to keep pretending like I ever stopped loving him. I forgot about Derek because he moved on but Connor? I couldn't forget about him. So I ran towards him and hugged him. He hugged back weakly. I felt a tear fall onto my shoulder. He was crying.

"Connor I'm soooo sorry." I fought back tears that begged to fall from my eyes. I can't cry. Not now. I pulled away and his eyes were bloodshot. His eyelids were red and the large bags under his eyes were almost a shade of dark purple. He looked awful. "I'm sorry that I hurt you. But I can't keep pretending that I don't still love you. I have tried but I can't."

Connor still looked sad. He touched a strand of hair that had fallen out of my braid lightly. I closed my eyes to prevent tears and because it felt good to have him so close again. He dropped the strand of hair and grabbed my left cheek lightly and leaned towards me. I leaned towards him placing my hands on his neck. Our lips barely touched when the bell signaling the start of class rang, causing both of us to jump and hit our foreheads on each other. "Ow..." We both mumbled. Then Connor faintly smiled at me. Pulling me back towards him to kiss again. It was a small kiss and lasted about a second but it meant the world to me. Relief filled all the places where sadness and guilt had been.

"It's okay. I've never stopped loving you either. If it wasn't obvious." Connor spoke gently. His voice wasn't shaky anymore and he wasn't crying. He looked relieved as well. "Just don't ever do that to me again." He smirked.

"I won't." I whispered.

"Good because these past two months have been hell without you." He grabbed my hand in his, intertwining our fingers, as we walked back to class. Mrs. Avery will probably be mad at us when we get back but it's fine. I don't care. Even if she gives us a detention I'll just be with Connor and that's what I want.

I love Connor. I never lost that feeling and neither did he I guess. I just don't think that him forgiving me should have happened so quickly. I feel like it's to much like what would happen in a movie. Am I in a movie? Wait...Okay probably not I'm just glad Connor and I are talking again. That's all I needed and I got more then that. This is the happiest I've been in two months. But I still wish he had found someone better then me. He deserves someone better then me...I just feel like we shouldn't be together again but I'm not going to stop now. I've missed him to much to screw this up again. No matter how wrong this feels to me.

A/N: Hey guys sorry for taking so long to update...seriously I am. Okay that's all I love you bye!!!