The Golden Snow (RE-WRITING)

Attack Of The Ear Pods

I frowned, why did they get to go off on their own but he was dragging me with him? Mickey got to go explore, Rose was off to see her dad, why couldn't i go find my parents?

"Let me go," i told him, trying to pull away.

"No, you're staying with me. I shouldn't have let Mickey go off alone. We need to catch up to Rose."

"No," i pulled away, "Mickey's right, you just drag me along. I don't want to be dragged along; maybe i want to look around myself."

"For what? Your sister is back in our world, not here!"

"My parents aren't," i told him, "But they might be here. I just want to see!"

"No, absolutely not. Do you know what could happen if you interfere in their lives? If you meet yourself? The Paradox that would create? Believe me I've seen that happen with Rose and i nearly lost her-"

"I'm not Rose! I won't meet them, just let me go see them," i pleaded, getting angry as he shook his head. "I don't even know what they look like anymore!"

"Alex please, Rose-"

"It's always about Rose!" i snapped, having enough, "Even when i told you how i felt, you just talked about her! But guess what?! I don't care about her, or Mickey, or gingerbread houses or even you and your twisted sense of caring for someone! You don't know about me, you don't care! I am sick of being dragged around after the two of you and feeling that i'm only here because i look like your dead wife! I won't be dragged along and ordered about like she was! Because i'm not her! I'm sorry but i'm not and i never will be!"

He grabbed my arms, pulling me into a kiss and i froze, not sure what was happening. One of his hands cupped my cheek, keeping my lips against his as the kiss turned urgent and just as i started to return it he pulled away.

"You listen to me," he told me, "Listen. I never thought of you as my wife's replacement or look-a-like. Never. I would never wish you to be like her. And it's not always about Rose! The only reason i chase after Rose is because i know you will always leave, no matter what you find or what you're offered, you will always leave with me because you know it has to happen. Because you know you can't stay. That is why i don't worry about you, or chase after you. And i'm sorry if i confused you, or if i upset you, but i don't know what i'm doing. I've never felt like this. Even with my wife, there was never another, and having two people i care for at the same time is a strange concept. Especially when i know the one i care about less, is the one that's supposed to mean more to me because we've been through so much more together and i'm sorry. I'm sorry that i care about you, that i want to hold you, and tell you how i feel! And i'm sorry that i can't because i don't want to have to watch you die! I don't want to lose the person i love again! So i'm sorry!"

I didn't know what to say or do, so i just let him drag me along behind him. He kissed me, he cares about me, wait – did he say he loved me?! I shook my head, there was no point thinking like that. As he said, he couldn't be with me. I had to get myself under control, my emotions were running around like headless chickens.

We caught up with Rose on the main street, soldiers were patrolling but i ignored that. Why did everyone have ear pieces?

"Mickey's mum just couldn't cope," Rose said, she had been telling the Doctor about him, "His dad hung around for a while, but then he just sort of wandered off. He was brought up by his gran. She was such a great woman. God, she used to slap him! And then she died. She tripped and fell down the stairs. It's about five years ago now. I was still in school."