Ghosts And A Big Ball Of Nothing

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We were in a massive warehouse, stocked high with crates, jeeps and trucks running around, oh and of course the flying saucer. Who could forget the flying saucer in the middle of the room?

“That's a Jathar Sunglider,” the Doctor announced, staring at it in surprise.

“Came down to Earth off the Shetland Islands ten years ago,” Yvonne announced with a hint of pride in her voice.

“What, did it crash?” i asked.

“No, we shot it down. It violated our airspace. Then we stripped it bare. The weapon that destroyed the Sycorax on Christmas Day? That was us.”

“Oh you think you’re so brilliant,” i started, but the Doctor nudged me behind him, away from the woman.

“Hormones, you know,” he shrugged innocently, holding me in place.

“Yes, quite. Now, if you'd like to come with me.” We followed her though the warehouse, “The Torchwood Institute has a motto. If it's alien, it's ours. Anything that comes from the sky, we strip it down and we use it for the good of the British Empire.”

“For the good of the what?” Jackie and i asked.

“The British Empire,” the woman repeated.

“There isn't a British Empire,” Jackie retorted, but the woman only smiled.

“Not yet. Ah, excuse me. Now, if you wouldn't mind,” she held her hands out and a soldier handed her a very big gun. “Do you recognise this, Doctor?”

“That's a particle gun.”

“Good, isn't it? Took us eight years to get it to work.”

“It's the twenty first century. You can't have particle guns,” he glared at her.

“We must defend our border against the alien. Thank you, Sebastian, isn't it?”

“Yes, Ma'am,” Sebastian nodded with a quick glance in my direction as he took the gun back.

“Thank you, Sebastian. I think it's very important to know everyone by name. Torchwood is a very modern organisation. People skills. That's what it's all about these days. I'm a people person.”

“I doubt it,” i scoffed, but the Doctor jumped in over me.

“Have you got anyone called Alonso?”

“No, I don't think so. Is that important?” the woman asked.

“No, I suppose not. What was your name?” the Doctor finally asked.

“Yvonne. Yvonne Hartman.”

He didn’t really pay attention to her, he was too busy lifting a black plastic step-stool with a handle on top and a little red button. They looked like something you'd use for weight lifting, not exactly alien tech.

“Ah, yes. Now, we're rather fond of these. The Magnaclamp. Found in a spaceship buried at the base of Mount Snowdon. Attach this to an object and it cancels the mass. I could use it to lift two tonnes of weight with a single hand. That's an imperial ton, by the way. Torchwood refuses to go metric.”

“I could do with that to carry the shopping,” Jackie joked, making me smile.

“All these devices are for Torchwood's benefit, not the general public's,” Yvonne told her with that smile and i stepped forward, only for the Doctor to yank me back, pretending like he was simply wrapping his arms around my waist.

“So, what about these ghosts?” he asked, then leaned down to my ear, “Easy Alex, don't go prodidng the bear."

“Ah yes, the ghosts. They're er what you might call a side effect,” Yvonne told us.

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