To Rant, Or Not To Rant

Twilight

So it seems like the new obsession going around between my friends is Twilight. *Cough* BuffysCello and _SkywaySilver_ *cough*.  I've never read the series before but I did see the first movie. So, I'm going to summarize the first book and you guys can laugh at me as I get stuff wrong, just like in the hairy potter summary.

Once upon a time there was a girl named Bella. Her parents died in a car accident so she had to move in with evil stepmother and two stepsisters in New York.

On her first day in New York she met a guy named Jacob. He looked like a hippie. He also has nothing to do with the story until the 2nd book. 

On her 2nd day in New York, she went to school. She made some friends who also have nothing to do with the story until the 2nd book. When Bella was eating lunch, she noticed someone in the cafeteria. It was a boy who had pale skin and did not look like a hippie. He was starring at her. Kinda like what a creepy stalker would do.

The next day at school, a truck was going to hit Bella, but then the creepy stalker dude stopped it by literally pushing the car out of her way. You know creepy stalker dude, you could have just pushed Bella out of the car's way.  That would have been much easier. Just saying.

As time progresses, Bella and creepy stalker dude become friends. We also learn the name of creepy stalker dude, which is Edward. I like the name Edward. It reminds of that guy who got stabbed in the eye with a butter knife.

Then, one day Edward takes Bella out into the woods. Kinda like what a creepy stalker would do.  Edward then tells Bella that he's a vampire. Then he takes off his shirt for some unknown reason. His skin them begins to sparkle like a shiny disco ball. Because that makes perfect sense. 

The next day, Disco Ball and his family take Bella out into the woods again. Kinda like what a creepy stalker would do. They play baseball, because vampires don't know how to play soccer. While they're playing baseball, some werewolves come and bite Bella. So then the vampires have to fight the werewolves while Edward has to suck Bella's blood to heel the werewolf bite. Because that makes perfect sense. So then,  Edward sucks her blood until she passes out. Kinda like what a creepy stalker would do.

The next day, Edward and Bella go to prom. Then, while they're dancing Edward bites Bella so she turns into a vampire. Kinda like what a creepy stalker would do.

                 THE END.