Yowzah Oneshot Collection (2)

8(G)

My old friend Charlie Peace was a violin virtuoso

               areyoumarriedriver

“This was a bad idea.” She hissed the words out as she crept along the hall, her PDA held in one hand and her other arm reaching behind her to restrain the Doctor to the shadows.

“Hey!” He whispered back. “That’s rude – you asked me to come along.” He let out a squeak as she halted abruptly, shoving him back against the wall and flattening herself next to him while she waited for the guard to move past the corridor at the end of theirs. Once it was safe, she turned and glared at him.

“Sweetie, there is clearly something wrong with your hearing. I told you I was doing this and then you alternated between whinging about being bored and staring at me expectantly until I finally let you come along.” She sighed, pressing a button on her PDA. “This way.” She sighed, moving to the end of the corridor and leading him left.

“I am an asset.” He hissed, scanning around with his sonic screwdriver. The noise sounded shatteringly loud in the silence around them and she reached back and snatched the thing from his hands.

“You are going to get us caught. And why must this thing be so damn loud?! Attempt to be inconspicuous, dear. Please.”  She levelled a pleading look at him before handing him back the screwdriver, which he pocketed with a huff.

“Says the woman dressed like a cat.”

“I am not dressed like a cat-” She protested and he looked her up and down speculatively.

“I’m fairly certain those pants are painted on. And a bustier? Really River? And please, let’s not leave off the ears and the tail.” He crossed his arms and glared at her and she grinned in response.

“Really honey?” She paused to step in closer to him, placing a hand on his chest and practically purring. Rather appropriately, she thought. “Because I’m fairly certain the pants were half the reason you begged to come along so prettily.”

“And the other half was the neckline.” He mumbled under his breath but she heard him anyway – and grinned.

“I heard that.” She smirked and tapped the ears on her head. “Not just a costume you know – it’s not like I wear it for kicks. Well I mean, Icould if you wanted me to later darling. But they scan the auditory centers of your brain and increase your hearing. And the tail has its uses too.” He chuckled at that and blinked down at her.

“Really? That’s brilliant.” He reached a hand up to touch the ears and she smacked it away before turning and walking back up the hall, taking a left and then another right while he trailed behind her. She could practically hear the cogs in his head turning as he tried to figure out what exactly her tail did. She’d have said something to him had he asked, but he was happy enough contemplating it – andquiet enough – and she didn’t really mind him staring at her arse at all.

She paused by a door, staring down at the screen in her hand. “Damn it.” She cursed quietly. “Two guards – one from ahead and one behind.” She scanned the area on the map before reaching behind her to snag his sleeve and tug him along a few meters to another doorway.  Her tail twitched, and a red light shone for a moment before she was pulling him into the small supply room and shutting the door behind them.

“Oh, is it sonic? River – did you just – is the tail actually-” She held a finger to her lips and glared at him, staring anxiously at her screen as the two blips indicating the guards moved toward one another. She jumped when she felt his hand brush against her bum, looking over her shoulder to see him bent over at the waist inspecting the tail. Oh, that man. She tried to push his hands away but he was surprisingly quick, picking the tail up and stroking one hand down it while the other twirled curious fingers around where it was attached to her pants.