Quest Reviews (CLOSED FOR CATCH UP)

Nazeefa's review

Book Title: Notorious Five

Author: renegxde

Genre: Action/Thriller

Chapters Reviewed: All chapters so far (Intro + 23)

Reviewer: @MidnightKoala

Note: I will try and be as constructive and as polite as possible regarding areas that I think can be improved but still remain honest. It is not my intention to be harsh or rude but if any of my comments come across that way, I do apologise sincerely. I am not always right and sometimes my opinions may be different to yours so please do tell me if you don’t agree with something I’ve said or want to discuss further - I am more than happy to. I hope the review is helpful! ❤️

TITLE: 

I think your title is the perfect length - it’s not too short which would lose its effect but it’s not too long and complex either which would make it awkward. I also like that it’s nice and catchy. Notorious is a strong and intriguing word - it immediately hooks me in and makes me wonder what your story is about. It’s a fitting title as well since it makes sense to your plot and just overall works really well! 

COVER:

Your new cover is stunning! I don’t think I can say anything against it. I am a huge fan of the deep, maroon background and the font/sizing/spacing of your title is impeccable. Usually, I would be against using a small f for the word ‘five’ but I think in your case, it works really well. Your images are just something else. Skylar’s profile facing the side and the silhouette of the ‘notorious five’ is just flawless! I especially love the overlapping and the colours of the images - it’s very professional and a really eye-catching sight; if I saw your cover in a bookstore or library, I would definitely pick it up! You’re a design graduate, of course - you know what you’re doing. 😉

BLURB:

Regarding the blurb, I do have a few pointers. Your first line is: The five friends of Trenhold are your typical high school seniors. To me, that is cliché. I have read so many blurbs where the first line is something about ‘your typical high school kid’ so it doesn’t particularly invite me to read more. It also feels like a contradiction with your next part when you talk about ‘unsafe neighbourhood’ and ‘guns’ because those are not typical things in a teenagers life. 

I do like the rules of three when you say: They have broken family ties, trampled hearts and live in an unsafe neighbourhood. A world of guns, lies and unsolved mysteries are normality. And this line a while later: A world of anxiety, shattered memories and hidden pasts are clawing their way back. Your usage of words here is amazing - trampled hearts, shattered memories, clawing their way back - I absolutely love those phrases! 

However, although a rule of three is an incredibly powerful tool in a blurb, it should be used effectively for maximal effect. Having too many rules of three can make the flow a little clumsy, especially if using two in a row. I would suggest keeping one of these rules of three or keep two of them if you have them a few lines apart. You could integrate the phrases from the other one(s) into other parts of your blurb or remove them if necessary.

How does the entrance of a stranger cause hurricanes of change? This line is absolute poetry - I really like it! But it doesn’t quite fit in with the rest of the blurb - the transitions between the paragraphs (or lines if they’re one line paragraphs) aren’t as smooth as they could be. I feel like they could link together better and your blurb could have some sort of overall structure.

I think the ending is again a little awkward: If the elder siblings confess, will Skylar finally be at peace? Or, has the story just begun? Firstly, I think it might be better to introduce the main character near the start of the blurb - it’s not clear at first glance who Skylar is, especially since the reader knows nothing about her at this point and can’t connect to her or her role in the plot.