Quest Reviews (CLOSED FOR CATCH UP)

Abeeha's review

Review by Abeeha

Title: Tangled Feelings

Author: dreamer369

Reviewer: Abeeha

Cover+Title: (Aspect Specified)

You book cover is really catchy. It looks really well-worked upon and the little details determine the amount of hardwork you have put in it. The soft and intense under water effect is beautifully illustrated. However, because the pictures of the girl and the boy are added externally, it looks a bit hotchpotch. I suggest you to try and make the pictures smaller (they’re taking a lot of space) or at least bring them to the same level. The other thing that I would like to point out is that the author’s name is very small. I suggest you to shift it at the bottom and write it in bold so that it’s easily readable. Just polish it a little bit and the cover will totally be a thumbs up.

Coming to the title, it’s perfect. Tangled feelings— that exactly shows the relationship of Zachary and Luna. Tangled and Twisted. I believe it’s fantastic!

Blurb:

The blurb is well-written. Not many blurbs catch my attention but this one surely did. It is perfect lengthwise and also reveals the perfect amount of information to hook potential readers. I love the little questions you have added. They really seem to elevate your work. I have some suggestions regarding the blurb and once you’re done correcting the little errors, you’ll be good to go.

1). Luna is a sarcastic sixteen YEARS old girl.

The use of the word ‘years’ is inappropriate in this context and ‘year’ will be the correct word.

2). Zach starts taking an interest TO her.

Correction: Zach starts taking interest IN her.

The use of the preposition ‘in’ will be more grammatically correct for this line.

3). Join them in a rollercoaster...

Correction: Join them ON a rollercoaster RIDE...

The use of the preposition ‘in’ is not fairly appropriate for this line and I suggest you to change it to ‘on’. Also, adding the word ‘ride’ will make the sentence more structured.

Grammar and Writing Style: (Aspect Specified)

I noticed that most of your story is well-written regarding grammar. You have not made the mistakes which most authors tend to make. I found that very impressive.  There are a few things however, that I’d like to point out.

*There were a lot of typos and word/keyboard errors I found. I tried to point out all of them while commenting on your book. Hope you can check it out and make the changes.

*There were many instances when I noticed that you have used a question mark (?) and an exclamation mark(!) together. Try to avoid this, as much as you can or use it only when you have to express extreme amazement or surprise. After being so professional with your writing, it kinda disrupts the flow.

*I noticed that some sentences were too long and continued on and on without any comma(,) or full stops (.) I suggest you to use punctuations frequently and at the right places, otherwise the sentence basically becomes redundant after a point of time.

*Your sense of humour is elite. I really laughed hard while reading some of the dialogues. They are extremely well-written and realistic and most importantly,the bunch of teens reading your book will be able to relate which is a great thing!

*You seem confused between the use of ‘its’ and ‘it’s’. Always remember: ‘ITS’ determines possession while ‘IT’S’ is the abbreviation for ‘it is.’ That is a very petty error but it changes the meaning of the sentence.

Overall, your writing style is fairly promising and your descriptions are beautiful!

Plot: (Aspect Specified)

Though the plot is somewhat similar to one of John Green’s books, I still fail to agree that it’s cliché. The storyline is so far smooth and intriguing. Your writing style is reader-friendly and easy to follow. It made me laugh a lot but also made me very disheartened at the sudden revelation of Luna being diagnosed with acute Leukemia. This really is a rollercoaster ride of emotions! I have read ten chapters of your book but I can already say that the plot is anything but concrete. You have thought through every scene in detail and the character development is impeccable!

Characters: (Aspect Specified)

This is my favourite part of your book to be honest. Each and every character is very well-presented and there is not one character I didn’t enjoy reading about. The best character however is definitely Carson.

From the very beginning of the book, I kept drooling over his mischievous yet caring personality. He is so naughty but like a perfect elder brother, he is also very caring and extremely over-protective of his sister. The moments spent in the hospital deeply saddened me to the core and his proposal in front of his father to start working for paying Luna’s hospital bills was so realistically described, I loved it inside-out.

Luna is a beautiful character. Her brave personality and the confidence she portrays even though deep inside, she’s dying, is so well illustrated with the help of the little thoughts you’ve included in her dialogues. Her funny, quick witted remarks were really fun to read.

Coming to Zachary, he is such a good guy that it perplexes me sometimes. I feel that there is a mystery to it, which you haven’t revealed yet. After reading the blurb which said that there is a possibility of him just pretending to like her and that he might be playing a game, I guess you have something in store for us. I can’t say about what turns the story will take next, but I can say that I really like him as a person.

Other characters namely Cassie, Jordan and Thomas are also amazing. The minor details about Thomas can tell that he is too creepy and super-clingy, giving off gross vibes right away. This means that you know how showing-instead-of-telling is done which is incredible. There were some places where I felt you should describe a bit more about the looks of certain characters such as Jordan, Aiden and Imogen, to name a few. Which reminds me, you should write a bit more about what type of a person Imogen is because I believe her role is vital in the book and she is the antagonist (till now). I wasn’t able to pay proper attention to her character because of the lack of description of her personality traits.

Overall enjoyment: 

I really enjoyed reading your book. The sentences were structured and the vocabulary was top-notch. Your book is very promising and I can’t wait to read what is going to happen next. I feel it is full of surprises. Thank you so much for choosing me as your reviewer. I hope you find this review helpful.

Until next time❤️