Quest Reviews (CLOSED FOR CATCH UP)

Questint's Review

Username: teen_rogue

Book title: Mr. Billionaire

Genre: Mystery

Status: Ongoing

BOOK COVER:

I like the cover and I think the usage of red is inspired. It definitely stands out. Points to improve would be the the typography. The title should draw the focus of the eyes and that doesn't happen with your book. It's almost like the title is an after thought, an additional detail that you are providing. I definitely think improving the size placement and font could work.

As for the title, it's pretty cliché. There are hundreds of books on wattpad with the word 'Billionaire' in them. I really think you should consider changing that.

BLURB:

The length of the blurb is on the shorter side. I would definitely suggest adding a bit more details. 100 - 200 words would be the sweet spot. But maybe as the book expands you will get more ideas.

What I really like is the suspense and intrigue that it creates. I think it really draws the reader in. You've structured it beautifully. Great job!

PLOT:

In this section I'll cover aspects such as, premise, pacing, originality, plot holes etc.

Premise:

Your premise is solid. It really works. I think the clash of two high achieving type A personalities is A+. There are so many directions this could go in and so much potential to introduce drama and tension. And I also love the clarity. Great job with the premise!

Pacing:

I didn't find problems with pacing till the fifth chapter. I thought it was progressing beautifully. But the shift in the 5th chapter was too much and too sudden.

What I'm talking about is, we just found out that Morelli watches her in the court room. Which by itself is a pretty major plot point on its own. Then we have the thing about embezzlement. And then the chapter ends by saying that his father was arrested for murder.

These are a lot of information to introduce within such less space. It breaks up the flow too, but I'll talk about that more in deatil later.

As for now, with regards to pacing, I think three plot points revealed with such rapid progression is detrimental to the pacing of the plot. I think you should spread them out a little and spend a little more time on each.

Originality:

I think it's pretty original. I wouldn't call the plot cliché. Great job!

Plot holes:

I wouldn't call this a plot hole, rather I would say it's a little thin on the research.

I'm talking about the embezzlement. The whole board meeting scene needs a bit more research. First off I don't think they would call it 'Financial statistics.'

Maybe you could call it 'profit from the last quarter' or something. (This is just a suggestion. I haven't done research on this but I recommend that you do)

Next, thirty percent is a huge fraction that we are taking about. Especially when talking in terms of billions. It just doesn't make sense somebody could embezzle thirty percent for three months without anybody realising what's happening.

My suggestion:

I think a bit more research needs to be done with regards to how much percentage of embezzlement is on the beliveable scale. I suggest looking up news articles covering actual scams and embezzlement that have happened to billion dollar companies. I think those could really help with how you word these things.