Quest Reviews (CLOSED FOR CATCH UP)

Faye's review

Title: Dear Clara

Author: engfanatic04

Status: Ongoing

Focus: Plot, characterisation and Grammar.

Title and Cover (5/5)

I love the title. It is simple and certainly fits your story! Those two words “Dear Clara" are constantly brought into your story and stand for many things throughout. Very clever. The subtitle is so intriguing too!

The picture is perfect! I love that the person is caught in the fog, with their hood up. This represents the troubles and strife within the story perfectly! Not being able to see their face is a really good choice – it made me think of the shadow of death and loss. Also the string of fairy lights are not out of place as they represent beautiful moments of hope in your story. I could not think of a better cover picture for your book! The fonts are also well chosen and clear to read. Placed perfectly. I am truly impressed with everything I saw here, well done!

Description (5/5)

Wow what a cleverly written description! You managed to put so much intrigue and so much introduction information in such a small paragraph, not an easy thing to do, I appreciate the skill put into this.

You explain the title in a straightforward way and you wrote such an enticing hook! 

Grammar (3/5)

I noticed a few grammatical errors here and there, though not too many.

There were a few typing errors like missing spaces, punctuation blunders and small word mix ups. I pinpointed some other ones as I read.

You changed the spelling of Stefanie's name to “Stephanie" in another chapter.

Also in chapter 8- your use of the phrase “broke up" confused the context of the paragraph a little bit.  Usually “breaking up" is associated with a romantic relationship coming to an end. In the context of this paragraph “break apart" would work better, I think.

Writing Style (3/5)

Your writing style is intriguing. I loved the use of diary entries to move the plot along as well as reflect on the thoughts of your main character. It was clever and beautifully executed. It was also a good idea to set these sections apart by putting them in italics, it gave the aesthetic that those parts are handwritten and gave your book a clear structure – making your story easy to follow.

Kicking everything off with a letter was a beautiful way to start your story – using it to explain who Clara is and to introduce your main character was really clever. 

I do have some issues within this first chapter however, I believe the writer of the letter full naming herself in the middle seems out of place. I don't think it's needed because the reader finds out her name in just a few sentences later – when she signs it off. Also, I found it a strange way for a teen girl to communicate with a close friend and was distracted a little by it.

I also think it would be nice if you finished the first chapter at the end of the letter and leave out the extra part. The scene with her at the table doesn't add any more necessary details and takes something away from the powerfully written first letter.

Carrying on the letter writing throughout is a great idea and you write each letter consistently, so that it is clearly the same person writing them each time. 

There’s another part where what Mel writes a letter that seems out of character. When she writes – “Might be mom, returning after talking with the counsellor about my situation.” – I think this information should be mentioned within the narration rather than part of her letter to Clara. Similarly to when she full names herself  in the first chapter, I don't believe she would bother to include that when writing to a close friend.