Quest Reviews (CLOSED FOR CATCH UP)

Abeeha's review

Review by Abeeha
Title: God is my Oath
Author:  asli_niassuh

Cover+Title:

Your book cover is one of the best covers I've seen on this site, no kidding. If I had seen this in a bookstore, I would definitely want to explore it. The font is excellent! It is of the perfect size, which makes it easily readable and though the colour doesn't usually go with a black background, in this cover it looks beautifully blended. It doesn't look clumsy and the positioning of the font is well done. Also, the picture chosen works perfectly for the royal content of your book. Beautiful!
An apt title for your story. The title drop is so clever and I loved it inside out. That's just a very unique way to think of a title. It is based on Ella's oath (I believe) and it's very appropriate as it co-relates with the actual plot of this book. Great work, buddy!

Blurb:

The blurb is fine for most of the parts. There are a few things however, that I'd like to point out.

"Name your oath, Gabriel Adler"
Correction: Consider putting a full stop after 'Adler'.

A 20-year-old girl
Correction: A 'twenty'-year old.
(Try using the spelling of numbers instead of actually writing them like normal digits. )

What she fails to understand is the constant spotlight she steals of Prince Théodore Able...
I didn't get what you meant by this line. Prince Théodore developed a crush on Ella so I don't believe that she steals his spotlight. Maybe I misinterpreted something, because the line is a bit vague is what I feel.
The amount of revelation is perfect, but I feel you blurb could have been written in a less complex way. You can opt for a quick re-write, cutting down on complexities and avoiding overwhelming punctuations.
The little corrections here and there will make a huge difference, mark my words!

Grammar+Writing Style:

I absolutely love your writing style. It's consistent and flows beautifully! The descriptions of some scenes left me bedazzled. The royal court's scene and the fighting sequence is so well-defined, I couldn't stop reading. Very Intriguing!

There were some grammatical issues which I want you to take notice of.
(TECHNICAL)

Chapter-1

The competitors named oaths, they put forth their most valuable person or item, if the victory goes in their hands--------a great honour in the Dalia Empire.

This whole paragraph is very confusing to read. Just try to break it into small segments, and avoid overwhelming punctuations.

Ella grabbed her sword and gazed down on it...
Correction: Ella grabbed her sword and gazed down 'at' it.

He was the epitome of charming...
Correction: He was the epitome of 'charm'. The correct form of the word will be 'charm' here.

The click's of the prince's boots...
Correction: The 'clicks' of the prince's boots.

Chapter-2

Ella had forgotten that the king, no matter how benevolent or courteous, he was, weaklings were still his least of favourites.

Now one thing: When you put a comma in a sentence, just remember to take notice of how you had started the sentence.

This sentence is coming out grammatically wrong. You can rephrase it like:
Ella had forgotten that the king, no matter how benevolent or courteous he was, loathed weaklings.

That's just one way from my side, you can do it in any way you like.

I am sorry to disappoint you like that, your Majesty, punish me, I deserve that.

Correction:
Consider putting a full stop (.) after 'Majesty' then begin 'punish' with a capital P.

Chapter-4

His large tall nose that complimented his entire face breathtaking...
Correction: His large tall nose that complimented his entire face 'breathtakingly'.

To Ella is losing, without even putting up a real fight, worse than death, which is why...

Correction: This sentence seems too complex and unstructured.
You can either rephrase it like how I've suggested below, or stick to your own ways of rephrasing.

To Ella, losing without even putting up a real fight, was worse than death.
This makes it flow around nicely.

He examined each every move of his enemy...
Correction: He examined each 'and' every move of his enemy...

Nothing could manage to come in her way, not her dress and not her dainty heart.
Correction: 'neither her dress, nor her dainty heart'

There were some recurring errors:
1). Not using the correct form of words-
Always remember that a little Google search will do the job. If you are uncertain of a word that you want to add to your book, just verify from the internet once. I am sure you won't be disappointed!

2). Too many punctuations:
I know that it's a really weird criteria, but it's important. That just makes your book complex. There are some places where commas aren't required, be careful!

(Vocabulary + Spellings)

I noticed one thing:
Is the 'e' in Theodore é or e? Try sticking to one spelling please.
Apart from that, a very colourful vocabulary. I loved the choice of words. Elegant and beautiful!
The spellings were almost perfect. I couldn't find a single typo. Keep up this work, it really elevates your work!

Plot:

A lovely plot! What can I say, it's so NEW. I love how it all starts so dramatically, with the rounds and oaths. I was hooked right from the beginning. Loved how Ella shows her hatred towards the royals with just her words, rather than telling us about it directly. I honestly thought that this is going to be something related to the Bangtan Boys but it's actually not! It's something different and very intriguing. Especially with the mystery lingering in the background, it's so hard to stop reading. And guess what? The love square just adds to the adventure and drama. Théodore likes Ella, Ella likes Emmett, Emmett likes Irene and Irene likes Théodore. How complicated yet intriguing is that. You have definitely thought through everything in great detail. Kudos to you!

Characters: (Spedified aspect)

Gabriella: Lovely name and a very strong-headed character. I found myself supremely inspired by her attitude. She doesn't give a damn to anyone (surprisingly, even the royals) That makes her into ten times stronger! The way she doesn't reveal her face in the beginning, the whole cloak thing, is so well-done! She is a character determined to unravel truths about her family, come what may. I absolutely adore her.

Prince Théodore: I absolutely fell in love with his masculine personality. He really is the epitome of charm. He truly depicts the character of a royal Prince, who has never tasted the wine of failure. I personally loved his character.

Emmett: Just know that he is amazing! He caught my eye from the beginning and he has such a tender heart. It's hard to not fall in love with his character.

Irene: A very very intriguing character. The way her obsession takes over in the first chapter itself is so well-represented, Wow. She can do anything to get Prince Théodore. Her princessly tantrums are well-depicted, even in her eye movements. It's so captivating. Her stubborn and 'I get what I want' personality actually fascinated me deeply. I would love to see her in the future chapters!
This book has got brilliant and non-cliché characters. I loved each and every one of them!

Overall enjoyment:
Your novel is captivating. It has got such a concrete plot (no wonder you got such a huge number of people reading and appreciating your work). With just some editing and a little sparkle of your creativity, it's gonna be amazing. I hope you found this review helpful and if you have any queries then you can always drop a PM. Thank you so much for being so patient with your review and I wish you lots of luck for your future writing.

Until next time! ♥️