i am the one for whom You Are living

Outburst

It's been a month, I left you Sanskar. I don't even know how I survived these days. I am terribly missing you.. I don't even know when your hugs, kisses, cuddling, teasing have became my days.. I am literally living like a corpse. A body without soul is a corpse.. Isn't it? The day I left you, I realized that I love you like hell.. It takes almost half of a month to catch a glimpse of sleep without your cuddling, your fragrance..I don't want to be selfish. But being with you and destroying your life is the only thing I will do if I stayed with you. I think by now everyone of our family is hating me.. May be you too.. But one day I will come to meet you when you are settled in a family. That day you won't regret me leaving you..maybe you will forget me  that time.
She closed her diary wiped  few drops of tears.

The day when Swara confronted her, she understood that staying in Sanskar life and cheating their family is the thing she is doing. Whatever swara spoke is the undenied truth. Maybe she is right. That marriage is for the sake of nelak. They are bounded by contracts not by the vows. Though there may be a little chance that Sanskar loved her, he deserves better.
Really? Little chance? Are you kidding me?
Then she left the Mumbai city that night leaving a good bye letter confessing every truth of her relationship with him and asked their forgiveness..
She then came to Assam. With the help of her friend she rented a apartment. She then applied for a fair paying company and got selected as she is passed with flying colors in college. Tomorrow will be her first day at work. It became her routine to write everything in her diary and she will caress his pic and went to sleep.. Though she missed him to the core she determined not to enter into his life.Not until he forget her and move on in his life...

She will witness him from the distance, love him from the veil, live for him from her heart.
The day when she will face him will be the day when he got settled in his life with his love..

Then she got busy in her work. It's been a week she is working. Today she came to the railway station to send off her friend who is moving to Indore for meeting her family. Its past 11.00pm.
When her friend left, she turned to leave., when her hand  was  unexpectedly tucked by someone. She very well know that touch. It's him, her love Sanskar. He is facing his back to her. She prayed almighty it should not be him.
But to her bad luck it's him.
She slowly came in front of him. She somehow gathered the courage to face him. She also prepared that if she has to face him  before his marriage, ( For God's sake, he is your husband) what all  could she tell him.
Before she could tell anything,

Sanskar:Hi Ragini. How are you? Its a surprise to see you here.
He looked tired,dark circles around the eyes,messed up hairs.
Ragini who heard those things had a mild heart ache. She expected him to atleast shout at her,abuse her.
The way he addressed her as Ragini itself made her to take few steps away from him.
His Sanskar had never addressed her as Ragini, for him always she is his baby doll.she thought that maybe he considered her as his friend alone, maybe its her who loved him. How easily he moved on from her.. He seems not to have any angry on her. That's what you want. Aren't you?
Isn't you who want this? Isn't you who left him? You even prepared how to face him, aren't you? But now when he is greeting you like a friend, the mere greetings itself made you felt awful.
What do you exactly want Ragini? If you want him to move on from you, when he is doing that you can't stand that.. What a bipolar strategy you hold?
Her mind mocked her..

As her tears are threatening her eyes to fall off, Ragini managed not to choke her words in front of him.
Ragini :I am fine. How is everyone in our family?
Sanskar:sorry.. Whom are you talking about?
Ragini:Maa, paa, adarsh bhai,pari bhabhi..
Sanskar:Oo.. You are asking about MY FAMILY?they are fine Ragini.
Ragini who heard him,
Ragini:They are my family too.
Sanskar:Uff Ragini, you are my friend alone,that doesn't give you any rights to call my family as yours.
He stated casually as a matter of fact. That words itself enough to break her. She took few steps backward and turned her back towards him and wiped her tears.
She composed herself and turned towards him, she smiled weakly.
Ragini:Sorry for calling them as my family.
Sanskar:I don't need your sorry at all. Better keep in mind.
He is not her Sanskar , her Sanskar will think infinity times to hurt her.. He can't be her Sanskar..
Sanskar :Ok I gotto go. Bye.
He forwarded his hands to her for a handsake. She took a deep breath and shakes her hand with him.
Her Sanskar had hugged her,soothened her, kissed her.. But he, like a typical friend gave a handsake to her.
Isn't what you want, you idiot? Her mind mocked her.
It pains like hell, her heart cried..
Soon after the handsake he left her and went away without having a second glance at her..
She then walked towards the bench and settled there.
By that time everyone has left from there...
She stared crying terribly by keeping her hand on mouth.. Her figure started shaking hysterically due to her veiled sobs..
He is not my Sanskar.. He is not my Sanskar.. She chanted that continously..
A hand forwarded handkerchief..
She doesn't take it, instead her sobs increased.. The hand gently wiped her tears... She know its him.. Yes its Sanskar only..
Ragini :You are not my Sanskar.. You are changed.. You are not my Sanskar.. She pushed him slightly..
Sanskar :What do you mean by that?
Ragini :My Sanskar won't behave with me like this.. He wont hurt me with his words.. She mumbled slowly..
Sanskar:What? When did I hurt you with words? I behaved like a friend with you right.. That's  what you want me to do.. We are just friends .. Isn't it?
Ragini:My Sanskar wont call me Ragini. He calls me as his baby doll. You are not my Sanskar.
Sanskar :Stop calling me as "my Sanskar". We are not so close friends too.. Then about calling you as baby doll. I dont remember it..
Ragini:You don't remember it. Really??You don't remember... How can you?Don't you miss me? Why are you doing this?

She started showing her vulnerability forgetting that he is doing what she asked him to do in the goodbye letter.

Sanskar:Why the hell will I miss you? You want me to move on right. Like getting married and having kids. You even signed the divorce papers  and left without informing us. Then why will I miss you?I am so happy now. Now when I am doing according to your words na, now you are asking why I am doing this. What exactly you want me to do?

He asked ever so calmly that she searched is there any lie or prank in his eyes.. But his eyes are devoid of any emotions.

Ragini :Dont behave like this with me Sanskar. Please.. She begged.

Sanskar :What's the big deal? What are we? There is no relation in between us. Then why it concerns how I behaved with you? Just ignore me like all the time.. Sorry it won't affect you right.. I am like fool telling you this..
He smiled wickedly..

Ragini:You are my husband.

Sanskar :Oo.. You remembered it. But I think you ended that relation a month ago..

Ragini:Sanskar..

Sanskar :Enough.. See even I can't able to mask my emotions like you do. I don't know in which way I failed to make you realize my love.?Didn't you once see love in my eyes for you?
Don't you baby doll? His eyes started pouring..
He wiped his tears and continued
I believed actions speaks louder than words. So I expressed my love towards you in my every action.Every little thing I do for you is my love.. I don't even expect you to reciprocate it. I believed one day you will love me. If  not,  my love is enough for both of us..

Don't you even think me as your friend.? If I did anything that hurts you, you can fight with me right? If you don't like my behaviour towards you then If you told me I will change my behaviour too right. Why did you leave me? What mistake I did? Why did you punish me like this.? You very well know I can't live without you... This one month without you was like hell..
OK leave me.. What about our family? Why did you abandon them? Dont you love them?His anger just raised..
I thought my baby doll won't leave me ever,whether she loves me or not..
Above all, you just signed the divorce paper and left me with the note that I want to marry someone..
How could you? If I ask you to marry someone.. Will you?
Ragini:Sanskarr...
She shouted..
Sanskar :See, for just saying this itself you are getting angry right.. He chuckled..
Then how do you expect me to behave, when all of a sudden you left me with your shit note..
You just broke my peace, my love.. Why did you do this?
Ragini:You deserves better..
Sanskar:F**k with your assumption. Is my love any business deal that you are saying I deserve better. Who the hell have given  you the right to decide my love. I don't love for benefits.. Just got clear with this.
Neither you nor I am perfect. No one is perfect. Its feeling of Completion that we share.You complete me in every sense. Atleast I felt towards you like that..
He smiled weakly..
I can understand if you don't want to be my wife it's OK.  Atleast be my friend..
Please.. I missed you so much.. Please...
He hugged her stomach and  sobbed..

Hello dears..
Emotional part.. How is it?

Kavish♥️