Sanditon Season 2: The River and the Man

Chapter 85

Sitting under the tree Sidney reflected the last time he had found himself in that particular spot.

It had been a sunny and warm summer afternoon. And too hot then to wear a heavy coat like he was now.

He had done Mary the favor of taking the children for a while leaving her with only the youngest. He had bought them to the bend in the river near Sanditon house to float new model ships he intended to determine the seaworthiness.

The simplicity of their fun appealed to him that day in light of his earlier interaction with Charlotte in the street after the tending of old Mr. Stringer.

Charlotte had come to fetch the children for tea but they had lingered there overlong enjoying the company of what felt like a family unit to him. It had stopped his breath a moment as they enjoyed the children around them and their own discussion over them. He could not help then the directions his mind wandered.

It was cold now from the change in season, also it was the early morning. The light was only beginning to rise in an orange and pink display.

The blackbird's songs were now joined by the Robin's and the Wren's in the morning chorus of the bird's song. Next to a bracing swim, this was his next best remedy. A bottle of the best French Spirits had not worked to dull the ache that ate at him.

He had never been very fortunate when it came to love, yet he had not gotten any used to it.

Grass stirred near him and he turned to look half expecting a deer nearby, or perhaps a smaller forest critter but no...It was she.

"Well if it isn't the ubiquitous Mr. Sidney Parker." came a soft teasing voice.

He smiled at the intimate joke and shook his head. "The sentiment is mutual, and not entirely unwanted," he said standing and bracing his tired body against the tree. "Why are you not asleep?" he asked.

She smiled. "I needed to see it through to the end." she sighed. "The servants are cleaning up and the last guests might be leaving soon, once they are stirred enough from where they fell." Looking out at the river she smiled. "How long have you been out here?" she asked.

He cleared his throat and looked up. "It was just barely light when I stumbled out here. I wanted to see the sunrise," he confessed.

She looked up at the orange and purples that were now spreading across the horizon.

"It is beautiful," she whispered but his eyes were only on her now.

The calm music of the birds paired with the environment made him long to step closer to her, to touch her as he wanted but he was fighting a constant battle in her presence and he could not get away now much like he could not many months before.

She went to lean against the tree he also leaned against. Their shoulders were not touching but their hands could if he but bridged the gap. Closing his eyes he noted the smell of her perfume and he inhaled deeply the mixture with the morning spring air.

"Are you well?" she asked noticing his reaction.

He swallowed. "Yes, and a deep and resounding no," he replied now looking out across the water.

Sighing deeply he cleared his throat and looked at her. "Do you know when we were last here Charlotte?" he asked.

She nodded. "I do."

He looked away for fear his resolve to remain resistant to his desires. "It was the first moment I realized I wanted a family."

She frowned and turned a little to listen.

"You and me here with my nieces and nephew felt natural, and so..." he inhaled bracing himself for her reaction to his thought. "fulfilling."

She smiled and felt his arm and she did not shy from it. "It was a lovely afternoon." she agreed.

He nodded. "It is one of my fondest memories and that will never change my dearest Charlotte," he said earnestly as he looked away from her back to where they had once stood.

"You should not call me that Mr. Parker," she whispered.

He turned and his eyes were hard like steel. "To me, you will always be my dearest Charlotte. It is a fact I cannot change even if I wanted." he sighed.

Charlotte leaned away from the tree and moved to the clearing near it.

"After the season I have thought to leave Sanditon for good," she said turning to face him. More distance helped. "But now Lady Denham moves to require me beside her longer. When you marry you will, of course, live in London will you not?" she asked.

He cleared his throat. "Mrs. Campion has made it clear she wishes to stay in the comfortable London home of Mr. Campion when we are married, but I was building a comfortable apartment in the new Pavillion Terrace."

She frowned. "So you will live apart?"

He nodded. "That is my understanding. You know we do not get on."

Charlotte looked down in confusion. "But you once loved her, now you cannot even abide in the same home?"

He stepped close to her. "Shhh." he looked at her in the morning light. "I don't wish to talk of that woman, I just want to enjoy this as another new memory to call upon," he said reaching up to stroke her cheek.

"So you will not be going to Brighton with Lady Worcester?" he asked dropping his hand. Their proximity intimate but not as far as alarming he noticed she had relaxed.

Shaking her head she answered as he leaned forward and pressed his head against hers.

"I am glad to hear it," he answered holding himself from the edge.