Sanditon Season 2: The River and the Man

Chapter 68

Standing in the foyer Sidney paced as he waited, but not on Charlotte. He had stored his Phaeton at Sanditon House last autumn and he arranged for it to be readied for them to use. An open-air carriage would arouse little suspicion of impropriety and he needed to take great care that none doubted their actions. And there was no room for a third.

Taking his dark coat he finished off the action by putting his hat firmly on and grabbing his cane from the footman.

Looking up he found Charlotte was coming down to him ready for the day and dressed warmly.

"Apologies if I kept you waiting," she said.

He shook his head. "No matter, I had to call for my Phaeton. Lady Denham has been gracious enough to allow me to store it here while I was in London," he said clipped and looked away as he offered his hand to assist her in the buggy.

Instead, she just handed him her reticule and umbrella so that she could manage the feat herself.

Sidney looked down at the objects he now held and smiled. Charlotte was her own person and he had to appreciate that about her.

"Do I sense a snit?" he asked and smiled imagining how she would have acted if they had the good fortune of being married. Would she have been occasionally upset with his moods and acted this way?

She glared at him as he mounted the carriage next to her while she tried to adjust away from him but the proximity of the benched seat forced her side to bump up against his slightly and she sighed as she looked everywhere but him.

He chuckled as he directed the horses to go. "I suppose there is a snit." he looked at her with a charming smile and she would not spare him a glance. "Come now Miss Heywood, what is it you so desperately wish to upbraid me on?" he challenged.

She pursed her lips and took a deep breath. Turning in the seat a fraction her knee bumped his and she recoiled from it for a moment.

"Are you trying to ruin me?" she asked.

He frowned and shook his head. "Charlotte, how could you think that?" he asked. "The weather did not look kind today, I but thought to spare you being caught out in the rain," he said softly. "Honestly... I just was thinking of your wellbeing as you did by ordering me a bath at most appreciated time."

She looked at him narrowly. "Mr. Parker I need you to understand-" she started.

He clenched his jaw. "I understand it all well enough. I just want to enjoy the moments before the end. I haven't much time left to imagine another way out. Let us not enjoy it while we can." he said looking ahead trying to keep a wall between them but pressing against it most ardently.

Charlotte swallowed and also looked forward. "But I can't find enjoyment for it can only be gained by giving in to the temptation, stolen moments filled with fear... It is an agony. It is dangerous." she said feeling tears welling up into her eyes.

He saw her hand on her lap and he took it in his. Gloved though it was he brought it to his mouth and pressed a kiss to the back of her bare wrist above the hem and Charlotte felt the tears drop from her eyes.

"It is still agony," she said pulling her hand back and shifting away.

Sidney remained silent as he drove the horses on. He knew she wanted away from him and he could not keep her.

"I suppose you should visit Georgiana first." He said eventually to her as they pulled into the main street of Sanditon.

Charlotte nodded. "After I take some letters to the post," she said.

Sidney frowned. "I will be off too. Perhaps meet at the crown after tea?" he asked stiffly.

She nodded. "Thank you, Mr. Parker," she said with the bow of her head as she turned to make her way to post the letters first.

"Ah Miss Heywood." Mr. James Stringer said with a smile. "Fancy seeing you," he looked up and saw Sidney was watching them and his face dropped. "Will you have time later for a stroll?" he asked.

Charlotte looked up at the sky. "I would love to, but the skies threaten to drench us today. I suppose we may not have the opportunity."

He nodded. "Indeed. There will be other times, will there not?" he asked. There was more meaning behind that statement and Charlotte winced a little inside.

His hopeful eyes lingered on her and she felt a tightness. Could she ever love him as he seemed to her? Charlotte had tried to open herself to that the last weeks she had been in Sanditon. She had been receptive before she knew Sidney better but now she felt nothing but friendship for this man who wanted to offer himself should she just give him a little hope.

"There will be other opportunities to walk as friends," she replied and could see the light dim in his eyes.

He nodded and looked back up to Sidney who still stood watching the interaction.

"I will see you later." Mr. Stringer said disappointedly.

Charlotte smiled and passed him.

"Mr. Stringer," Sidney called out authoritatively.

The man just stood a moment and turned as if uncaring. "Yes, Mr. Parker?"

Sidney clenched his jaw. "Has the painting been finished?" he asked.

Mr. Stringer scoffed. "Not since you asked last afternoon," he said annoyed.

Mr. Parker nodded. "Of course."

"Haven't you stopped playing your games with Miss Heywood?" Mr. Stringer asked frustratedly. "She can't move on till you do," he said coldly. "You already have your rich and beautiful fiance, why do you have to still been lookin' beyond that to Charlotte?"

Sidney looked around him but was satisfied that they were not overheard. "She is free to move on."

Mr. Stringer looked him up and down. "You look on her as if she belongs to you and you want to run off anyone else who sniffs at her skirts yet pay little attention to your actual intended." he looked around the town. "Most everyone else may be ignorant but I can see you don't want her to move on."

Sidney shook his head. "I want her happiness, of that I promise."

Mr. Stringer looked at him regretfully. "Then leave her alone to find it with someone else." Touching his had he nodded. "Good day Mr. Parker."

Sidney stood breathing hard in thought as the man's words ran through his head. Leave her alone, hadn't he been trying to do that? Since the very first days he met her he had been trying to leave her alone and it was breaking him because he could not.