You Should've Been Mine

Three

I walk into the house to the smell of my favorite: cinnamon pancakes. I sigh and kick of my shoes by the door and I pull off my gloves. Im grateful to have Ruby in my life and I really do care about her, but I just want Regina so much more and that's what makes it hard.

Since Regina and I walked the rest of the was back, the cool wind dried all the sweat away. I swiftly take in the smell of Ruby's cooking. She's almost as good as her Granny, almost. To put on a show, I wrap my arm around her waist as she flips a pancake. She hums and I could see the huge smile tugging at her cheeks.

"How was the gym?" She asks and I shrug.

"Same old same old." I lie to her as She turns around to peck my lips. For a moment, I forgot we were together and I was going push my head away because of my love for Regina, but I dodged a bullet. Kissing her felt so forced and it pained me to do it in a way. It was like it was against my free will. Imagine sex...it's way worst.

I can't help the guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach so, I pull away. I force a smile and she gives me a warm one in return, which breaks my heart. A shower was definitely needed so I went to wash up while Ruby made breakfast and once I came back, everything was set on the table and she was sitting there waiting for me.

I sit across from her and I eat what my stomach would allow. Well... at first I wasnt that hungry but the more I ate, the hungrier I became. Ruby chuckled as I began to scarf down my food. I laughed along with her.

"I didnt realize how hungry I was. This is sooooo good babe." I smile.

"Why thank you. I figured since your midterms started today, you could use the extra energy to keep your mind focused." She smiles happily.

You see? It's stuff like this that makes me want to vomit. Not that it's her fault, but it makes me feel disgusted with myself and I deserve to feel this way. She deserves someone better and I fucking suck, but I can't help but crave Regina in every way possible. That's why I have to at least see her once a day, even if it means taking a morning jog together for an hour or 2.

I frown and I stop eating my food as fast. My eyes are everywhere but her and I can tell she knows something is up. She drops her fork and clears her throat.

"Emma? Are you okay?" She asks causing my eyes to snap towards her, but her eyes-I can't look her in the eyes. So, I look back down to my plate and push my food around with my fork.

"What do you mean? I'm fine." I say nonchalantly.

"Don't think I didn't notice that something is bothering you. You seem different lately. Even when we have sex it's..."

"Different?" I ask. She nods and I sigh.

"Listen Ruby...it's not you. You're not doing anything wrong, my mind is just everywhere due to school and sports and I'm just stressed out and confused with life right now." I feel a soft and gentle hand on top of mine and I urge myself to lock my fingers in hers to show her that I mean what I said....which is another lie.

"If you need anything I'm always here. You can tell me anything babe." She says softly with so much love in her eyes. I'm dying on the inside.

"Thank you baby." I let out a shaky breath. "I love you." I did....once.

"I love you too."

~Regina~

When I get in the house, I instantly make my way to the freezer to grab an ice cold spoon. I immediately rub it on the spot that Emma attacked on my neck before the hickey get's worse. It feels soothing, yet the cold metal burns the irritated flesh.

"Regina? Are you home?" Robin calls out as he makes his way through the house. He smiles once he finally finds me in the kitchen.

"Heyy." I smile. He's definitely about to question why I have a spoon on my neck and the anxiety is building by the second.

"Why do you have a spoon on your neck?" He asks with a confuses frown. Of fucking course!

"Oh uhh. It's cold from the freezer...I have this area on my neck that swells up when I work out for some reason." I shrug and he just shakes his head in understanding.

"What about you're knuckles?" He asks. Shit, I forgot all about that. To be honest, I can barely feel a thing.

"Oh. My mom called and pissed me off so now I'm phone-less with swelled fists." I explain to him and I drop the spoon to the counter hoping to the heavens that there's no mark there.

"I understand love. Your mother makes me want to pull out what little hair I have left." Robin laughs and I laugh along with him. We stare at each other taking in this moment. It's like the old days when I used to be deeply in love with him, but that doesn't mean it always lasts.

"Good thing you don't have work today huh?" He continues.

"I know right." I chuckle. He steps closer and pecks my lips.

"I was thinking that...maybe we could go to couples counseling. You know to bond more." He suggests nervously. You know something is wrong when you need to go to couples counseling to bond yet we see each other everyday.

"That sounds great. I was thinking about going to therapy again anyways." I say to him and he nods.

"As am I. I think I need to work on myself and to be a better husband." He smiles warmly. And suddenly I feel a sharp pain in my chest. Never have I once felt bad about my affair with Emma when it came to Robin, but now I do. All of a sudden he wants to try?! I'm cheating on him and now he wants to make it work. The guilt is now eating away 10 fold and it isn't about Ruby anymore. Ughhhh.

"I'm so proud of you Robin." I say softly and I cup his cheek. He moves in closer and lifts me on the counter by my waist. I whimper a little but it isn't real. He leans in and kisses me tenderly and I will my self to summit to him, even though I don't want to. Yes I care for him. Yes he has a place in my heart, but I have never loved the way that I love Emma...