You Should've Been Mine

Ten

~Emma's POV~

It's been three weeks since Regina broke the bad news and cried in my arms. Three weeks of her curled, in fetal position, in my bed. The only time she would get up was when I forced her to shower or when I forced her to eat. Her sister came to get her for the funeral and when she came back, she was even worse and I have the slightest idea as to why. I hate seeing her like this. I hate seeing the life drained from her face. That once beautiful smile is stuck in a frown. Instead of having life and color in her eyes, they are lost and dull.

I bring the kids home and they immediately dash into Hannah's room to play. I sigh and drag my feet towards my bedroom. A small smile appears on my face when I find Regina typing away on her laptop and chewing her bottom lip. Her nose and eyes are still red from crying, but at least she isn't consumed in thought anymore.

"Hey..." I say softly. She looks up at me then back at the laptop. "Still don't want to talk?" I ask. She shakes her head and I give a heavy sigh. She hasn't spoken in so long and I'm starting to think she's mute. "Graham is worried about you." I say to her and drop the bag of clothes that Graham gave me by the bed. She shrugs, closes her laptop, and get's up.

"Regina..." I sigh sadly.

"I'm leaving tomorrow." She says with a weak voice.

"Why?" I ask her as she grabs her clothes.

"Because I'm the Mayor and I have alot of catching up to do."

"Regina you need to talk to somebod-"

"No..." she snaps. "I'm fine, thank you." She says more calmly.

"Here you go." I groan and crash down on the bed.

"Excuse me?" She scoffs.

"You're doing that thing you always do. Like when Ruby found out about the kids. You throw up your walls and push me away as if you don't want me around."

"I don't. You forced me to stay here." She says dryly.

Although it's true, it still hurts coming from her. I don't feel like arguing with her and it isn't worth it. I sigh and strip my clothes. My muscles are aching and I just want to soak in a nice warm bath. Honestly, I forgot Regina was standing right there until she cleared her throat and threw a towel at me. Like you've never seen this before. I roll my eyes and wrap the towel around me.

"If you need anything, you know where to find me." I Simply state and take my leave.

~Regina~

I don't know why I constantly do this to Emma. I slowly break her bit by bit and the more she forces herself on to me, the more she shows that she actually cares, the harder I push her away. It's just hard for me. This feels too much like a dream, like what I've always wanted when Emma and I were together. I just wanted her to be mine, for us to live together and be a family, but I know we're nothing more than friends. Before Emma, all I really had was my father and my sister.

My sister stopped talking to me for a bit. That I could handle. But when I lost my father my, still broken heart, shattered completely. Of course I ran to Emma when I got upset. That's what I'm used to doing. If I had known that she was going to slowly move me in with her to take care of me, I would never have set foot on her doorstep. I can't bare the pain. The guilt, the grief, the depression, the feelings of betrayal all came tumbling down at once when my father passed.

I grab a towel from Emma's closet, making a move that I know I'd some day regret. I walk to the door of her in-suit bathroom and gently turn the nob. I could hear Emma humming a tune and it made my heart warm inside. I quietly walk in and close the door behind me.

"You okay?" She asks me. She stares at me in confusion until her eyes fall on the towel in my hands.

"Just great." I laugh sarcastically. I slowly take off my t-shirt and then my leggings. She moves over a bit and I step in next to her. The steam from the warm water brings peace to my body and I lean back and close my eyes. "I'm sorry." I mumble. She doesn't say anything.

"I uhhh...I hate the fact that I'm here-with you" begin to vent.

"Why?" She asks softly.

"Because, it's what I've always wanted and what I've always dreamed of...but it's..."

"Painful because we aren't together." She finishes for me.

"Yea...that." I sigh.

"I get it Regina, I really do." She mumbles.

"You don't Emma. The moment I found out I lost my dad, my aching heart completely shattered. All those feelings: guilt, anger, grief, heartache,...feeling betrayed-"

"Why do you feel betrayed?" She asks in disbelief.

"Emma, you lied to me over and over again and you promised." I snap at her, my eyes connected with green in an instant.

"Regina, I was going to keep that promise, I just didn't think they were mine." She reveals and it felt like the wind was knocked out of me.

"Y-you...So now you're telling me that you didn't trust me?!"

"Well yea! And I was right not to because you end up fucking the guy you swore up and down that was 'just a friend'." She mocks. I huff and squint my eyes shut counting to 10. Remember what daddy always says. I remind myself.

"To be angry is to let another's mistakes punish yourself..." I mumble.

"That doesn't mean I didn't hate myself, Regina." She continues. "You broke me in more ways than one and still I kept trying. I never left your side." She reminds me.

"You were basically asking me to choose between my family and you."

"It wasn't hard for you to choose when we were together was it?"

"It doesn't matter because I lost both..."I state dryly.

"You know damn well if you did this sooner, we would be fine right now." And that statement is 100% true. We would probably be married if I talked it out with her instead of ignoring her. "The sitter at the daycare suggested that I start sending Hannah to Dr. Hopper for therapy. You need to go to." She suggests.

"No. I don't like talking to anyone about my problems."

"You talked to me." She shrugged.

"That's different Emma and you know it." She sighs in defeat, knowing that she isnt going to to win the battle. She proceeds to sit up; I can tell that work is taking a toll on her. She probably doesn't get much of a chance to work out since she has Hannah. "Turn around." I order. She doesn't protest. The water swishes as she shifts her body so her back faces me. I began to massage all the knots out of her aching muscles and she hums in approval.

Things happened quickly and I began doing things without thinking. I lightly kiss her neck as my hands work their magic down her back. She hums again and gives me more access with the tilt of her head. She turns her head towards me after a few kisses and our lips instantly connect into a passionate kiss. I moan from the burst of energy I feel. It feels so good and it makes me so happy to the point where it scares me. I pull away. I'm afraid to let Emma back in again and I can't bring myself to do it.

I can tell she wanted to say something, but her thoughts were short lived when there was a light tap to the door.

"Momma?! Are you in there?" Hannah asks.

"Yes honey." I call back to her.

"Can we eat?! Me and Henry are hungry!" She whines. I chuckle and Emma shakes her head at the demanding toddler.

"We'll be out in a minute, Hannah." Emma tells her and she happily says 'okay' before she leaves to god knows where. That kind of worries me and I step out of the bath. I look at Emma and she looks back at me. We come to an agreement with only our eyes, telling each other that what just happened never happened.