Sinner II Vmin

Dead Inside

Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." ... Please save me.

Such a satisfying feeling, how the blade drags across my delicate wrist. I wince at the stinging pain, but smile in awe at the beautiful rouge color running along my forearm. "Jimin! We have guests, come downstairs." My mother yells from the first floor. Hurriedly I toss the razor onto my desk, and scurry into the bathroom. I scavenge for my first aid kit and rush to patch myself up. Looking in the mirror, I notice how puffy and red my eyes were. I look and feel dead. Splashing water on my face, I attempt to make myself look more alive. Going down the steps I see the Kims in the living room. Taehyung notices my presence and smiles at me. "Finally you're here. Us adults are going to converse, so how about you and Taehyung go hang out upstairs." My mother explains and I bow towards Mr and Mrs Kim.

"So what's been up with you? I haven't seen you in a few days." Trust me you don't want to know what I've been dealing with. I don't tell him that though. "I've been... fine." I muttered, looking down deciding that my hands were more interesting. "Fine? When people say that, they usually are feeling pretty bad but they don't want to want to admit it." Can he read my mind? I stay silent, "What? I'm right, aren't I." He says with confidence. "I never said that." I deny, finally looking up at him. " What's wrong? " I furrow my eyebrows at his question. "What do you mean?" . He scoffs at my response, "Have you looked at yourself? You look horrid." Seeing the offended look on my face, he quickly said, " No! Not like that, you are gorgeous. Today you just look out of it and tired. Plus you aren't acting like how you usually are. It's like all of your energy is drained. " He explained frantically. "I'm sorry, you're right. I have just been g-going through some t-things that are r-really... um-" As I spoke my voice began to tremble and my eyes got watery. He watched with concern as I was beginning to have a panic attack. My breathing got heavier and my body began to physically shake. "I'm s-so sorry. I-I'm a m-mess." I sobbed. The other boy looked shook but got himself together quickly. Trying to comfort me he hugged me, causing me to panic. "D-don't t-touch me." I stutter, crying more. Ignoring my words he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his lap, cradling me. "Get off me!" I yell, but my words were muffled by his chest, since my face was buried in it. I felt his hands gently rub my back. "Shh. I'm not going to hurt you, relax." Eventually I stopped fighting him and slowly, my crying died down to only sniffles. I pull myself from his embrace and wipe the dried tears in my face. "Are you feeling a little bit better?" I nod my head yes and sniffle. " Do you wanna talk about? It's ok if you don't." He asks carefully. I shake my head no. "That's ok. I know we aren't very close yet, but just know you can talk to me whenever. Now where is your phone so I can put my number in it.?" I grab my phone from my desk and sit back on my bed. Opening up my make a contact page, I hand him my phone. He hesitated to grab the phone from me, which made me confused. I followed where his eyes were looking and immediately my face turned red. My sweater sleeves were really loose on me so they easily slide down. The sleeve of my injured arm slid down, so he saw the bandage on my wrist. Embarrassed, I quickly pull my sleeve down. Looking down, I avoid the eye contact that he was trying to make. "Did you do that to yourself?" The boy asks with a soft tone. Too ashamed to speak, I nod yes instead. I flinch when Taehyung gently takes my injured wrist in his hand and studies it. Watching him do so, I am surprised that his eyes aren't filled with disgust. Shook was my reaction when the boy, brought my wrist to his face pressing his lips onto it. "W-why d-did you do that?" He looks up at me before saying, "That's just something my mother would do when I was little. Whenever I was injured she did that to make me feel better. I wanted to make you feel better, but I probably made you uncomfortable. I'm sorry." With a small smile I thank him. " Thank you. " Not expecting those words, he furrows his brows. "Huh?". "Thank you." I repeat , "For comforting me and not treating me like I'm insane. I'm really grateful for you caring." He smiles at my words. "It's whatever. I just wanna help, so call me if you need me." Why are you being so kind Taehyung? My brain is telling me that he doesn't really care but my heart feels like he's being genuine. I don't know, we'll just have to see.

A.N~ Double update. Do you guys trust that Tae has good intentions? Hopefully you love this chapter. xoxo