Sinner II Vmin

Stars

Psalm 56:3, "When I'm afraid, I put my trust in you." ...don't let me down Kim.

   Giving up, I finally allowed him to hold me without moving about like a 3 year old throwing a tantrum. Recognizing that my fit was officially over he loosens his grip, sliding his arms from my chest. I watch the taller rummage through a rather immense weaved basket. In about a minute he pulled out an elaborate quilt. The colors weren't anything spectacular, dull rather. However, the divergent patterns and intricate details made the spread awfully astonishing. Opening the front door the boy looks back as if he were telling me to follow him. At first I wasn't so sure about going outside since my clothing wasn't well suited for the piercing chill of the night. Thankfully the air tonight wasn't as chilly as I would've thought. Instead the air was a remarkable blend of hot and cold, creating such a warmth that embraced us once we set foot outside.  "What are we doing out here Taehyung-ah?" The aforementioned glances up at me, pausing his previous actions of laying the quilt on the grass. "We're going to star gaze. Tonight's perfect, there are a surplus of stars out." Out of my control, a small smile appeared on my face. Joy filled me at the mere idea of stargazing with Taehyung. Damn, he really has that affect on me. He's the only person that can make me an ounce happier after a meltdown. Bending, I grab the opposite corners of the quilt and spread them out, mirroring Taehyung's actions. "C'mere." His deep voice commands softly, still it had an affect on me making me meekly comply. He brought me down with him to lay on the plush cover. My head was cushioned by the taller's bicep, as he heavily insisted that I do. For a long while, a comforting silence whipped around somehow making the whole experience more magical. Tonight was a full moon. A warm smile decorates my features when witnessing the magnificent sparkle of each star in the deep indigo sky. Sometimes I wonder what it's like being a star. I bet it's a thousand times better than being trapped in hell on earth. If you're a star your only job is to twinkle and shine prettily. No one is there to tear you down everyday, whether it be physically, mentally, emotionally. All I want in life is true freedom, just like the stars.  "What are you smiling about?" I hear the boy ask suddenly.  "M'just thinking about what it's like being a star. What it's like to be so free." I answer honestly. "Damn, that's some wholesome ass shit. How can you be so cute, saying such innocent things. My thoughts have not been so pure, I'll tell you that much." Taehyung admits with a deep chuckle.

    "My poor baby." Taehyung coos sadly, caressing my scarred skin. The moon emitted an ethereal ray of silver lighting, illuminating every inch of exposed skin. Each and every flaw on my small figure was highlighted. I was paranoid, immensely afraid of the other's reaction to my disgusting marks. Everything that my groomed, inner voice spat at me was wrong. The look in his eyes swirled with many emotions, none of them being disgust nor malice. "Why?" He asks, in a murmur he was almost inaudible. Gazing at him, as we were sat up now tears spilt from my overflowing waterline. I flash him a quivering grin. "Because it feels good." The radiant glow of the moon shed enough light for me to see all of his features. That's when I noticed the dewy skin beneath his beautiful eyes. Was he crying?  "Please don't take out your hurt on yourself, I'm begging you. Instead use me, use me to let out all of the toxic waste you're experiencing . You can tell me anything and everything, I'll listen to you. So please tell me what's going on in that pretty head of yours? Why do you always have nightmares? How come you won't allow me to be close to you sometimes or show affection? Why were you starving yourself? What are the reasons behind all these scars? You don't have to tell me every detail, I just want to figure you out." Streams of tears flowed down my puffy cheeks. My heart physically ached due to all the crying I've been doing. I felt a heavy thudding of a headache creeping its way in my skull. "It's a lot Taehyung, we'll be here for hours." I warn him, but he shrugs.  "Let's talk inside. I'll make some tea, you can get comfortable in the bed." Both of us stand up, quietly working together to fold the pretty quilt. Inside Taehyung went off to brew the tea and I did as he said. Cuddling into the plush pillows that were strewn on the bed, I roll myself into the covers forming a burrito-like shape. Still my mind cannot comprehend the reason why Taehyung gives me a piece of mind. That boy has powered through all of my chaos, all of the mayhem that broke out. I feel guilty that I put him through the side-affects of my hell. He had to witness all of my madness and is still adamant on wanting to get closer. That makes me curious about him as well. What is his drive to stick with me despite the constant uproars I produce. He's always so concerned about my well being. I wonder what thoughts go through his subconscious. Maybe he's gone as mad as I have he could be just better at hiding it. "Here, it's matcha green tea. It's really hot right now so let it cool down. This tea can help you relax and clear your mind." Taehyung tells me placing it down. "Thank you." I take a deep breath, attempting to calm my nerves. Here we go...