Worthy (Part 2)

Cotton Candy and Gremlins

She didn't stay the night.

As much as i hated sleeping alone, i wasn't sure if i was ready for that yet.

But we made plans to take the girls to the zoo this weekend.

I wasn't sure if she was trying to dodge our date, or this counted.

Is that how single parents dated?

Honestly, she'd awaken something that had been dormant for a few years now.... it was probably better to have two little cockblockers with us.

We also decided not to tell the girls about us. We needed to play this out without getting their hopes up.

I didnt say shit to Tyler today at work about it. And I was thankful my dad hadn't either. I wasnt ready to talk about it. There was nothing to talk about I guess. Either way, I wouldnt have any answers for the questions he'd ask.

I sat down with Dr. Winters ready to spill the beans though.

Me: I dont know.

She smiled

Dr. Winters: well how do you feel when you spend time with her?

Me: Like I can relax. I dont have to put on a fake face. I don't know if that's because she knows what I'm dealing with, or because she's just fun to be around.

Dr. Winters: Why can't it be both?

Huh. I guess it could.

Me: So now I'm dealing with... how would Annie feel?

Dr. Winters: I never had the pleasure of meeting Annie, so, you would know that answer better.

Would she? Annie loved everyone. If she got to choose who would move into our lives, would she pick charley? Was that fair to ask?

Dr. Winters: Lets rephrase this.

I looked up at her bright red glasses

Dr. Winters: Do you think Annie would want you to move on? To find someone that takes care of you? That makes you happy?

Me: I do....

She had such a big heart. She would want us surrounded by people that care about us. I think she would want Ella to have a female to look up to.

Dr. Winters: Well, I'd say, as long as you're happy, and Ella is happy, shed be happy too. Don't you think?

Dr. Winters: If Charley makes you happy, be with her. Do the things that make you happy Emory.

Me: That sounds nice.... I'm so tired of being sad.

Dr. Winters: there's no rule book, no written instruction on the loss of a loved one. There's no estimated amount of time that you should wait, or be sad. Do what feels right. It's okay to be happy, and it's okay to have sad days too.

Dr. Winters always knew how to pump me up. I came out of there ready to throw myself into any kind of happiness I could find.

This had happened before. It lasted a week before i found one of Annie's socks rolled up in mine.

But she was right. Highs and lows are normal. And right now, I'm on a mothafuckin high!

I just about skipped all the way to my Jeep. I blasted me some Backstreet Boys with no shame and headed for baby girls school.

When I got there Charley was flipping the pages of her sad book, i walked straight at her, leaned down, put my hands on either side of her thighs and pushed my nose to hers.