Worthy (Part 2)

Photo Albums and Questions

Tyler and Kim came over with the wedding photo album Kim made. As a guy, I could really give two shits. But Kim looked great, and it was nice to see how happy Tyler was in all of the pictures, and now as he sat on my couch.

I'd never seen him like this, it was weird, but great. He waited on Kim hand and foot even though she never asked for a thing. Any time he got up to grab a beer he'd ask if she needed anything. She'd smile every time and say "no thanks babe". I wondered if I did that kind of stuff for Charley enough. She definitely deserved it. Maybe I should step up my game... I hadn't taken her out for a proper date in awhile...

We had just kind of fell into our new routine as a family living together. It was nice, and comfortable. Don't get me wrong, our sex life had only improved since her moving in but she still deserved to be wined and dined.

We're all sitting around the living room pouring over the frilly pages of the photo album, recounting the day, the happy newly weds still gushing over each other when Ella looked up at me

Ella: Are you and Mom going to get married?

I wasn't ready for that question. I choked on my beer wide eyed.

I loved Charley, through and through, but I'm not sure... I don't know. Do I want to get married again? I know it's been years since Annie's death, but... she was my wife... Even now, as odd as it may sound to others Annie was my wife, Charley was my girlfriend.

But honestly? If Charley wanted to, I probably would. I'd do anything to make that girl smile. I'd figure it out. I can't imagine living a life without her in it, if it was marriage or nothing, I'd pick marriage in a heart beat.

I guess I don't know how to explain.

I looked over at Charley, she had the same look as I did. Did that mean she didn't want to? Ever? Had she even thought about it?

I'd pictured her in a wedding dress, walking down the isle, and meeting me at the end countless times before, but I guess I never thought passed that. We'd never really talked about it.

Kim and Tyler kind of looked at each other and decided that was their cue to leave.

Charley: Well, I don't know El... What do you think?

Baby girl smiled real big

Ella: I think you should. You'd look real pretty in a wedding dress. And daddy looks handsome in a suit.

I just sat confused.

Kim and Tyler said their goodbyes, Charley and I awkwardly put the girls to bed, then crawled into our own without saying much to each other.

We both laid there on our backs looking up at the ceiling.

Me: Is that something you've thought about?

she sighed a little and turned to her side to face me, I did the same.

Charley: Honestly?

I grabbed her hand, ready for whatever she was going to say. Charley wasn't a bullshitter. I knew whatever was about to come out of her mouth was the cold hard truth, she wouldn't say what she thought I wanted to hear. And I wasn't sure what I wanted to hear anyways. I kissed her hand, and looked into her beautiful green eyes.

Charley: I love you more than anything on this planet Emory, other than the girls of course. I really do. But... I... I don't think I want to get married...Not yet at least... I want to keep my last name... And I want Danny to keep hers too... I want to keep that part of him.

I sighed in relief I didn't know I needed.

Charley: I'm sorry... Please underst--

Me: No, I do. I understand completely.

She moved her hand to my cheek, I'm sure she was checking to see the truth behind my words.

Me: Really baby. I do. I'm okay with it. I'm not sure I'm ready either, or if I'll ever be...

A tiny tear fell from her eye, to her nose, I swiped it away with my thumb, then pulled her in and kissed her forehead.

Me: I love you so much Charley.

Charley: I love you.

Me: Promise me, if you ever feel differently, we'll talk about it?

Charley: I promise, if you promise.

I smiled at her and held up my pinky. She smiled back and wrapped hers around mine.

This was okay. This is what I needed. We were on the same page. Who knows, things could change down the road, but for now, this was where we were. A lot of families didn't have two married parents. We loved each other unconditionally, we were there to support each other, and that's what is important in a family, isnt it? Our girls had two parents that loved each other, cared for each other, and wasn't afraid to show it. Two parents that could talk through the hard stuff like this, without holding back, with complete honestly. That was surely a good model to set for them.

I went to sleep feeling at peace. I felt whole.

But I did wonder how the girls would react, would they be disappointed?