Leon Kennedy Imagines/Oneshots

32. I see you (Part two of The last song I'm wasting on you)

I see you by Luke Bryan

Warning: Guilt, sad, regret and suicide 

Leon's POV

I can't stop thinking about her... It's been five months since I last held her in my arms... And yet I knew it was my fault... I was the one who lied who cheated... Who ruined her... Yet I thought I would get over it... But no the guilt was too much. I never thought it would affect me this much... But now... I realize she's the only one... She was the one... I lost my chance... 

Roll in the bar, me and my crew.

Their little plan to get me over you

They're hookin' me up yeah

Buyin' me drinks with thousands of girls,

There's just one thing...

She was everything... she was always there when I needed her... But where was she... I wanted to blame her so bad... But I couldn't there was no way I could be free of all of it. No matter how much I tried to hide it... I was breaking... I cried every night... I couldn't sleep... I wasn't eating... I haven't eaten in three days...    

I can't go anywhere I can't do anything,

No, I can't close my eyes without you in my dreams,

You won't leave me alone, even though I know you're gone.

Jumpin' up there with the band takin' me by the hand

'Hey boy come dance with me'

Stuck like a Melody in my head

In the bed of my truck

By the light of the midnight moon... 

Baby, I see you...

The pain stings as I suppose another sip of my beer. The music pounds in my ears. The pointless women standing next to me, They aren't my Y/n... They never will be, and I realize that now... I never knew how good I had it... I yelled at her... I yelled at my princess... Because I was lost... I was scared... I wanted to end my own life... So I went out... had a few drinks. Gotta little out of hand... one night stands... every single night.... I was a piece of shit... Yet she never strayed... Part of me wishes she did. Maybe that would have made me feel better... But now she's gone... Now I've got nothing... I deserve that... I deserve all the hate I get... I deserve every ounce of it. the pain hurts so much I want everything to end. My eyes are already tearing up. Out of the corner of my eye I swear I saw her h/c hair. I get up, hoping it was her... Forgetting that she died in my arms for a second... When I catch the person- she turns around and my heart shatters. Reality making a fool out of me... 

Don't know what you did, 

But you done it good,

you don't know how bad I wish I could... 

Delete you from my phone, find a girl and take her home. 

But there's one thing wrong.

Her pain... It should have been mine... I should have been there for her and now she's gone... I'll never get that time with her back... Five months of hurting... I shouldn't be hurting... But she should still be alive... She should have her future. She took her life because of me... Its not fair... Life isn't fair... But neither was I... I was an asshole... A jackass... Anything... Anything but what I should have been for her. I lost the only thing I cared about...  I... never deserved her kindness... her love...

I can't go anywhere I can't do anything,

No, I can't close my eyes without you in my dreams,

You won't leave me alone, even though I know you're gone.

Jumpin' up there with the band takin' me by the hand

'Hey boy come dance with me'

Stuck like a Melody in my head

In the bed of my truck

By the light of the midnight moon...

Baby, I see you...

Her everything... I couldn't stop seeing her... But then in an instant she's gone... And there's nothing left for me to grasp onto... She died because of me... I hate knowing that... I should have been there... I should have came home earlier.... I would have been able to stop her...

Your lips, your eyes

Girl since you told me goodbye

I can't go anywhere I can't do anything,

No, I can't close my eyes without you in my dreams,

You won't leave me alone, even though I know you're gone.

Jumpin' up there with the band takin' me by the hand

'Hey boy come dance with me'

Stuck like a Melody in my head

In the bed of my truck

By the light of the midnight moon...

Baby, I see you...

Baby I see you... 

Baby I see you... 

I hand the money to the bartender, sneaking out so the guys don't see me. My gun in my holster, strapped close to me... So close so that no one knows what I'm planning... I'm drunk and unstable... I put my other hand in my pocket... On my way to her grave... This was the only thing I could do... 

I fumble around for my keys and instead find a piece of paper... It's a photo of Y/n... Before the lights in her eyes faded... She was beautiful... How could I do that to such a beautiful intelligent woman... Only an Asshole could do that.

Soon I make it to the cemetery... Her picture in my hand... I take the gun out of the holster... It's loaded and the safety's off. 

I kneel down in front of her grave... 

I put the gun against my temple... It feels comforting knowing that this is for her... I'm not just saying because of the guilt... I would have killed myself either way... But I would have rathered that she lived... 

"I'm sorry, it's not enough to prove to you how much pain I'm in since you've left... I can only pray that your okay... And that you've finally found peace where you are now..." I sigh... 

"This is for you... My princess..." 

The gun goes off and I'm dead before I hit the ground.