Our Reflection

16• Make It Rain

Toni Topaz POV

"So, how do you feel?"

The psychiatrist's voice invaded my eardrums and partially removed me from the trance I was in. 

Really, there was something very interesting about that red brick ceiling. 

The soft sound of the pendulum clock in the living room echoed in my head, making my eyes move to the beat. 

I put my hands on my head and took a deep breath before opening my mouth to answer the man. 

"I feel weird."

"Strange? Because?"

"Well, obviously there's something wrong with me, right?"

"I am not going to give you that answer, Miss Topaz."

"You are my psychiatrist!"

"Exactly, I'm here to help you come to conclusions about yourself. Understand this, young lady, I must be completely impartial."

"That's why I never liked psychiatry."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, listening to Friederick's low chuckle mingle with the pendulum strikes of the clock. 

"Can I go now?"

"Ten minutes to go."

"I have nothing more to say."

"Then relax and wait for the end."

I heard a noise of a body rising and I sat down, watching Friederick walk calmly towards a tea set. 

"Do you accept?"

"Two lumps of sugar, thank you."

I got up from the couch and walked to the window, watching the chaotic Los Angeles traffic at seven at night. 

It was incredible the ability of people to try to make the same movement and cause stupid accidents. 

The deafening noise of horns and curses transformed that chaos into a poorly organized symphony, where the city was the conductor.  Troubled and busy Los Angeles. 

Decorated to the posts with cheap Christmas ornaments and lights that would blind you if you looked for a long time. 

"Here it is."

Friederick handed me a blue porcelain cup and I took a sip, feeling the hot liquid run down my throat and relax my muscles. 

"The city is very beautiful, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it really is."

"Why do you watch so much if you don't find what you see beautiful?"

"It is not necessary to find something beautiful to observe something, sometimes ugliness also draws attention."

"You're right."

I saw out of the corner of my eyes the man adjust his glasses and then take a sip of his tea. 

"Have you stopped to think about the number of people with the same problems as you? The same anxieties?"

"No."

"It is not easy to identify, but if we look carefully, even though it is Christmas Eve, we notice a large number of people being filled with love."

"We are too far from the ground floor to make such a categorical observation, especially about this irrelevant feeling."

"Miss Topaz, love is good."

"Love is good for those who endure psychic overload, which is not my case."