Accidentally Assisting

Chapter 27 - You're gorgeous

Long chapter because I've been gone for a while. x 

...

A while later, I make my way to the arena, where BTS are practicing for their last concert of the tour. It sounds strange to think that the tour has reached an end. The fact that it has ended on such a negative note for my part leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. For some reason, while Sarah's right, her words just won't register with me. Instead of being concerned about my health as I should be, I keep feeling unmeasurably guilty towards Jungkook and the others. Maybe I really am not made to work as Jungkook's assistant, if I keep posing him trouble like this.

I mean, there's a reason why people go to college first before working, right? It's in order for them to have their shit figured out before they enter the job market. Because in the real world, no one's got time anymore to help you with your personal problems. Especially not busy people Jungkook.

The fact that Sarah suggested express my concerns to Jungkook seems almost absurd to me. While we have brought private issues to each other in the past, they mostly had to with Jungkook and his troubles managing fame. The only personal thing Jungkook knows about me is my heightened anxiety after the suicide incident. As to my loss of weight, I doubt he even noticed it. And even if he did, he probably wouldn't have mentioned it to me.

I almost expect any of the other employees to stare me, but no one does. Some people offer me kind smiles or ask if I'm alright, but all in all, I get the impression as if yesterday never occurred. So I just take a seat close to the stage and wait for Jungkook to finish so we can go over the rest of his day together, as we always do. Yes, going back to routine as if nothing happened is probably the wisest and most mature thing to do from my part.

Somehow, he looks particularly hot today, in his jean jacket, tight pants reminding the entire world how wonderfully muscular his tights are (not like anyone had forgotten) and his black combat boots.

Oh, crap, those combat boots. The mere sight of Jungkook in those boots makes my heart beat faster. If I die from a heart attack one day, I'll know who to blame.

Whether or not my boss has noticed me, he definitely hasn't acknowledged me yet. That in itself isn't highly surprising since he rarely does when he's focused on his performance. During those moment, his face is an impenetrable wall. However, it does not make me feel any less uneasy. Jungkook hasn't addressed me all day, an I've got no freaking clue what he's thinking of me or of what occurred yesterday. How angry exactly is he at me? I know there's only one way to find out, which is to ask him, but quite frankly, I'm dreading that conversation.

Since Jungkook felt he was flying too high yesterday evening during his performance of Euphoria, he's currently discussing with the technical team how to change that while all the other members already exit the stage, done with rehearsal for today. Some of them wave at me, none of them seeming particularly surprised or shocked at seeing me here. I'm slowly starting to feel like I'm going crazy. If I hadn't had that appointment with Doctor Sarah, I almost would have thought I dreamt my entire breakdown from yesterday.

"Hey, Rose," a soft voice interrupts me from my thoughts, causing me to quietly shriek in surprise. Jimin.

"Hey, oppa," I mumble, offering him a sheepish smile before focusing on the stage again, a much easier task than looking the man who has witnessed the mess I've been since my childhood in the eye. I've got no idea what to say to him. "Done with rehearsal?"

I can feel his heavy gaze one me. "Yeah." Then, the young singer sighs. "Listen, Rosie..."

"Is Jungkook mad at me?" ,I blurt, unable to hold my tongue any longer.