Buzzfeed Unsolved: Shane and Ryan; Stuck in the Past (+Bonus Stories!)

Plastic Sallie Action

This one is a little goofy. Also, this one I made myself. Not from the podcast.

Ryan was sitting in his apartment, in the living room, just scrolling through Watcher memes (if there were any new ones). Micky and Dori were sitting right next to his lap on both sides, sleeping. He softly petted Micky, who was on his right.

dink

Ryan heard. He looked up and saw something on the floor. He got up, which startled Micky and Dori.

Ryan walked over to the object and looked at it from afar. He noticed it was like an action figure.

How did this even get here? He thought.

Ryan slowly walked towards the object. He stood above it, then crouched down. Dori appeared next to him. She sniffed it and rolled it over. It's face was now looking at Ryan's eyes.

Shane!? Ryan thought. He picked it up by it's torso and observed it more closely. This thing has Shane's hair structure, his glasses, his red flannel, black jeans, his boots...it looked just like if Shane went into a plastic action figure.

"Shane, Shane, Shane," Ryan said softly aloud. "What kind of trouble did you get yourself into this time?" Ryan snorted. He placed Shane on his table and tried to find a way to communicate with him. Shane can't even move. Ryan knows Shane can hear him, but Shane can't do anything.

"Okay, I know this sounds crazy," Ryan said. "But what if I use the spirit box?" Shane still had the same face on. If Ryan looked at him right, he looked almost surprised, but happy. Maybe Shane was just using his sarcasm to get out of trouble like he normally does.

"I know it's crazy, Shane. I know. But unless you have a better idea, you better un-figurine yourself right now and tell me a better way." Ryan said. That sounded a lot less stupid in his head. Ryan put his head on the table, looked down at the floor and groaned.

"You know what," Ryan said, getting up and slamming his palms onto the table. "Screw your opinion on this one, Shane. I'm going to get the spirit box and I don't care what you have to say..." Ryan continued to rant while he got the device. He came back to the table, sat down in front of Shane, and placed the object next to him.

"How do I even know this is really you?" Ryan asked more to himself. It didn't matter. He knew Shane wasn't gonna ask. He can't. "Because you have that stupid look on your face, that red flannel and I can see the brand on your glasses. It's very small, but it's enough for me to see it." Ryan said. He turned the device on.

"Sorry." He said. It was loud for a good 1 second, then went back to it's original sound. Shane hated that thing, and Ryan knew, but it could be the only way to talk.

....hate.....thing

Ryan heard.

It worked!!! It actually worked! Ryan could talk to Shane through the spirit box!!! He knew it was Shane because he could hear his voice. And he knows how much Shane hates the box, so he said: "I hate that thing" or "Hate that thing." Or something similar. At least Ryan understood.

"Shane!" Ryan exclaimed. "Shane, oh my God! You know, I never thought it'd be this good to hear your voice again." Ryan heard a soft chuckle from the other end.

"Okay," Ryan began. He straightened his posture on the chair. "How did this happen? What happened to you!?"

...supposed to be...friend...turned me...figure....now I'm pissed.

Ryan chuckled. Dori barked. Micky went back to sleep on the couch. What Ryan heard was: A supposed to be friend turned him into an action figure and now he's pissed.

"Alright. So how do we fix it?" Ryan asked. No response.

"Shane? How do we fix you?" Ryan asked again. A knock came on the door. Ryan didn't want to turn the box off and then open the door.

"Hello." A girl said. Ryan jumped, turned around and saw Sallie. He fell off his chair. Dori and Micky came to his aid and stared at Sallie, wondering if she's a threat, but she doesn't seem to be. She had this innocent smile and her hands neatly behind her back. Ryan panted.

"What...the hell...are you...doing here?" He asked. Sallie said nothing. She turned the box off.

"Shane was right," She said. "Maybe to you humans that thing isn't annoying, but when your a demon, that thing is like hearing a teapot boiling." Sallie giggled. Ryan said nothing and just stared at her.

Sallie picked Shane up and placed him on the ground, facing Ryan. She touched his head with her pointer finger and whispered something to herself. She then took her finger off of Shane's head and stood up again.

"Ahh!" Shane said. In the blink of an eye, he regrew to his normal height and tumbled forward. Sallie began to laugh.

Shane's hands were placed on both sides of Ryan's hips. Shane's right knee was in between Ryan's and his left was out to the side. His glasses has slipped a little off his nose, his hair was a mess and his shirt was wrinkled. He chuckled as he realized that he was basically on top of Ryan. Ryan, however, had gone completely red. His whole face was red and embarrassed. He couldn't tell if he was happy or angry at Shane being on top of him...and looking like that.

Sallie fell down to the floor and laughed some more. Shane chuckled.

"Sorry about this." Shane said. But he didn't get off. He just looked down towards Sallie then back at Ryan. Ryan had said nothing. He was holding himself up with his arms and elbows.

Dori and Micky were licking Sallie and it tickled her, so that's why she was laughing, Ryan found out. She wasn't laughing at them. Quickly, though, Sallie turned herself transparent and phased. Dori and Micky could no longer touch her and she began to catch her breath.

Shane chuckled again. He kissed Ryan quick and soft, then backed up again. They stared at each other for another 5 seconds before Shane got off and helped Ryan up.

"Thanks." Shane said.

"HOW THE HELL DID SHE GET HERE!?" Ryan screamed. Sallie had caught her breath and had stood up. She was now physically there and Dori and Micky were sitting by her, staring up at the girl. She giggled and crouched down to pet them. Shane chuckled and placed his hands on his hips.

"Oh, Sallie?" He asked.

"YES!" Ryan shouted. "HOW IS SHE HERE!?" Shane looked at Ryan and smiled.

"I asked her. I asked if she could come over and she did. Now, she's normally not aloud to leave the Sallie House, but I might've tinkered with a few things to let her out and come visit me every now and then." Shane explained.

"I know you two are friends." Ryan said.

"I know. She told me what she did when we were stuck in 1912. The conversation she had with you and G." Shane smiled.

"You call him that too!?" Ryan asked. Shane nodded, smiling even more. That smile. That one smile that Ryan hated to love, and loved to hate.

"Of course." He says. Shane then gives Ryan a quick kiss on the forehead before looking at Sallie and walking over to her. He holds out his hand.

"Come on, dork. You need to go to bed." He says. This confuses Ryan. Why should Shane care?

Sallie gets up, grabs his hand and smiles.

"Why though? Demons don't need sleep." She says.

"It's not a priority for us like it is for humans, but it's still good to get some sleep from time to time." He says.

"Thanks again, Ryan. I'll explain more tomorrow. Promise." Shane says before he leaves with Sallie.

Ryan says nothing.

Why is he holding her hand like she's a child? Ryan thinks. I mean...she is...but does she need it? Why is he so concerned about her getting sleep? Why is she going with him? Is Shane hiding something from me? No...Shane doesn't do that. Well...not anymore at least.

Is he hiding something though? And if so...what?