#22 - Huang Renjun

11

I just walked my parents down to their car and watched as they drove down the street. I went back up to the dorm and laid down on the couch with my head in Jisung's lap.

"Your family is really amazing. I'm glad we got to spend the day with them." Jeno said.

"Thank you guys." I replied.

"For what?" They asked.

"For being so nice and accepting. Sometimes-" I started while holding my tears back.

"Sometimes it's hard for my brother to go places because he doesn't like his looks. People are extremely judge mental towards him even though they usually don't get to know him. I know it must've took him a lot to come here today, and just the fact that you guys were so sweet to him literally lights me up." I explained. By the end of my words I had tears coming out.

"He's an amazing person. He's good looking whether he thinks so or not. He was probably the sweetest boy i've ever met. Honestly I miss him already." Chenle said. I smiled at him as more tears came down. Jisung put his large hands down and wiped them with his thumb.

"Don't cry. Just understand that he loves you back." Jisung said. I nodded and controlled myself.

"Can we watch a movie now?" Jaemin asked. We all agreed on a movie and then turned the lights off and got comfy. I was sitting next to Renjun and Chenle.

20 minutes into the movie my eyelids started feeling heavy. I looked next to me and Chenle was already sleeping with his head to the arm rest next to him. I lightly tapped Renjun, making him turn to me.

"Can we cuddle?" I asked while not making eye contact. He chuckled and laid down, patting his stomach for me to lay my head on. I crawled up and rested my head on his stomach and my arms around his waist. Our legs were tangled together underneath the black comforter I had over my body. I ended up falling asleep almost immediately.

One week later

I got ready for the day, my outfit being a some camo cargo pants with timberlands and a baggy black long sleeve. I left my room and started going to the practice room. A few minutes after we got there, the rest of nct arrived.

"What should we practice first?" Doyoung asked.

"Hmm. Black on black?" Taeyong asked everyone. Everyone nodded.

"Jinji you know the choreography?" Yuta asked me who was sitting next to me.

"I think so." I answered.

"You can do my part. I don't feel like being lifted and in the center today." Yuta said.

"Oh god the nerves I have." I replied.

"Don't be. We won't drop you and believe me you have much more skill than Yuta." Jaehyun told me.

We got into positions and started doing the dance. I was fine until Jaehyun and Jungwoo had to lift me. I let them hold me up but I was shaking so bad that Jungwoo had to put me down before Mark went down. Luckily we weren't doing any videoing for this because that was definitely a mistake.

At the end I felt upset with myself, over me freaking out. I should've just contained myself and not been so scared.

"Jinji you okay?" Jungwoo asked me.

"Yeah I'm fine." I replied. I was still shaking very bad and my breathing had been uneven. I was acting like I was afraid of the lifting but I knew it wasn't that at all. It was probably because I'm running on 4 hours of sleep in 48 hours and I have had no food for 3 days straight and just water. I've been staying up at night and writing lyrics during the night, and practicing all day until I physically can't practice anymore.

"Here, have some water." Taeyong told me. I thanked him as I grabbed the water. The water in the bottle rocked as I held it up to my mouth.

"Okay no you're not fine. You're literally shaking so bad you can barely hold the bottle." Johnny points out. By now the boys were all standing around me.

"I said I'm fine. Do you think I would lie to you?" I snapped back. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. I knew what was wrong and I didn't let that stop me.

"Jinji?" Jisung asked me with his soft voice. I felt bad that I had just snapped at Johnny.

"I'm sorry." I said while running my hands through my hair.

"It's okay. We're just worried about you." Johnny told me.

"I'm really alright. I must just be shaky because of being in the air. We can practice again when you guys are ready." I lied but it was enough for them to believe me.

We discussed that we would have the different units going and doing our dances and me and Yuta said we'd do our duet dance. We already had the dance and song finished, we just need to record the final copy and then our part is finished. Nct 127 did their dance to fire truck while we watched, then they got me and Yuta to go do ours.

Everything went fine. He stood in front of me for the part he rapped, then it was gonna he my turn. He slid to the side like his part was supposed to and I went up to the front and squatted while mouthing my rap part. I went to stand back up and spin around but when I got up I collapsed instead of spinning. Yuta quickly ran over to me, as well as the other members.

"Jinji!" He yelled. I was breathing hard and my eyes were close to closing. He said my name one more time before I blacked out.