INFERNO ༄ PARK JISUNG

forty

"It was a mistake, I swear!" the smell of liquor and another girl's perfume carried out of his lips, making her almost gag at the unpleasant aroma. His dark hair fell messily above his eyes, sticking up in every which direction.

"You don't accidentally make out with a girl, Hyunjin." Seorin whimpered, looking into the eyes of a man who had just shattered her.

"Y-Your eyes are glowing..." he stared into them in fear, slightly freaked out with his state of intoxication. He took a step back away from her, leaving her distraught.

"What do you mean?" she rubbed them vigorously, convinced it was just the drinks talking.

"I don't think this is gonna work out, you're not normal." was all he choked out before stumbling out of the room she was now left alone in.

Only the sound of her drunken sobs were heard, her shining tears falling on the skirt of her dress. She looked down on them, afraid of her own self.

"I hate not being normal!" she cried out, yet it still couldn't be heard over the blasting music throughout the house.

Abruptly, Seorin was taken out of her nightmare, moist with beads of sweat formed on her forehead. She slowed down her breathing, preventing herself from hyperventilating any longer. Her eyes lingered to her phone, turning it on to see what time it was.

Saturday, 2:21 a.m.

A loud sigh left her lungs as she shifted uncomfortably in her own heat. "I hate this feeling." she mumbled to herself, pulling off the covers from her body.

With no second thought, she slipped on her slippers, along with the closest hoodie she could find and made her way out the door.

The cool air contrasted with the burning emotions riled up inside of her, anxiety nipping at every single nerve in her system. Above head, the moon was just a small crescent, little stars shining as well. It wasn't normal for her to be active at this time of night, considering she barely had any energy, but she knew the only way she could take her mind off of it was the soothing sounds of the river.

Slowly, but surely, she approached the freezing cold railing, embracing the breeze from the waves. She brought up a bubble of water to her hands, examining the way it glowed a deep shade of purple.

A pout on her lips formed at the sight, making her throw it back into the river with a small splash.

"Why can't I just be normal?" she whispered to herself, overlooking the barely lit body of water. Only the sounds of it ebbing and flowing filled her senses, providing her with some type of comfort while she dealt with her own worries.

She feared everything that was to come tonight, just because of a stupid incident that occurred her sophomore year.

Seorin was still young, still naive. So naive to where she trusted him to accept her and stay.

It was almost as if she was too scared to move on, because moving on meant meeting other people, and that meant risking the same thing to happen again.

Her thoughts internally battled with themselves, debating whether or not she'll be okay with giving another boy a chance, her trust issues hindering that completely.

And when she thinks of a certain boy, it's like she wants to let go of all the hurt, to just scream on the top of the rooftops that he is what she wants.

In the night, devoid of any sense of life, she stood in the middle of it, just overlooking the body of water that was a thousand times bigger than she was. The world felt so big, so full of opportunities, but she was too scared to even step foot into it.

Her thoughts were practically eating her alive, making her want to pull her hair out in every direction.

You like him, Seorin.

"No I don't, I can't!" she whimpered to no one, defending herself against her own thoughts.

Why are you so scared?

"Shut up, shut up." she said under her breaths that were becoming uneven, trying to grip onto anything around her.

Inattentively, she brought a large amount of water into both of her hands, levitating it above the surface. Her muscles flexed with holding the grand amount, watching it glow a deep shade of purple and gold.

Gold.

"What the hell do these colors even mean?!" she groaned, studying the way it swirled in the ripples of the liquid.

Her emotions screamed inside of her head, making her clutch the water tightly with her fists.

You know exactly what it means, Seorin.

"It's not true." she muttered under her shaky breaths, watching the colors mock her without a single word.

Angrily, she shot them as far as she could into the river with all her might, making the biggest splash heard from every side.

The impact made it rise up to twenty feet high, making it rebound onto the railing of the river. She felt the droplets hit her face, watching as the gold and purple dispersed with it.

She was in awe, in total disbelief that she could actually make an impact that big. It reached the other side, which was barely visible from where she was standing. It was colossal, leaving residue everywhere on the sidewalk.

Seorin shook helplessly in her own arms, clutching the sleeves of her now damp hoodie. She was cold, itching to grasp onto any source of warmth.

Tentatively, she turned on her heel, hoping for a familiar face to be there, one she found so much comfort in.

But he wasn't.

She looked down at her hands in disgust, staring at the concrete below her absolutely soaked from the water she threw. It could've flooded the city if she threw it any harder, making her fear grow even more intensely in her chest.

"I hate not being normal." she whispered to herself once more, letting the darkness of the night embrace her.

chapter forty — chilly ; niki
"though something could grow
i don't ever let it take root."

poor rinnie:(
been publishing short chapters but the longer ones are coming up!!
near done prewriting this book, so excited hehe it gets more interesting