INFERNO ༄ PARK JISUNG

sixty three

"Why didn't Hyerin take you to school today?" Seojoon questioned, taking a sip of his porridge across his daughter at the dinner table.

It was only the two of them tonight, spending some unexpected quality father and daughter time.

Seorin almost rolled her eyes at the mention of her name, but stuffed her mouth with more food instead.

"Rini, you can talk to me." he frowned, gazing into her eyes that had turned pitch- devoid of any other emotions.

She leaned her face against her hand, keeping poor table manners with her elbows in the table. "She doesn't have to take me to school everyday, Dad. I'm getting my license next month anyways." she mumbled, playing with the chunky soup in her bowl.

"You two have been inseparable since you were kids, what's the issue, Princess?"

Her lips pursed at his comfort, not expecting it at all.

"Best friends shouldn't keep super big secrets from you." she pouted, shoving another spoonful into her mouth.

Seojoon sat back in his chair, pitying her dark demeanor. It contrasted with her usual vibrant energy, worrying him greatly.

"I don't know what this secret is, but maybe she had a reason to, Rini. Do you wanna talk about it?"

Honestly, she did.

She wanted to pour out everything she's felt the past three months and scream all of her pain out on the rooftops. She wanted the aching in her chest to finally go away, tired of it waking her up at night with the thought of everything so wrong in her life.

Seorin wanted to feel happy, something she hadn't felt in months.

"No." she muttered out, making his frown grow wider.

Seojoon nodded in acceptance, running a finger through his gelled hair.

"You have a big event coming up this weekend, Princess." he began, making her quirk an eyebrow up.

"Hm?" she responded, well aware but didn't want to give it away.

"The end of the year banquet, aren't you excited?" he smiled, contrasting with her rather uninterested expression.

"Politics, woo." she sighed, making a small chuckle escape his lips.

"This one is different. You're finally announced in the line up, isn't that great?"

At once, her heart dropped at the mention, as if it were confirming her circumstances were true. All the food she just consumed grumbled in her stomach, giving her the urge to throw it all up again.

Of course, her father didn't know about her rather odd and creepy conversation with Park Jiwoon- basically making her choose between herself or the boy she couldn't get her mind off of.

Would it be selfish if she chose herself over him?

After all, she hadn't even came into contact with the boy in about three months, even if he was still talking to the rest of her friends. The betrayal still lingered, giving her a reason to dislike him in some sort of way.

But she couldn't.

No matter how hard she tried to hate him and push him out of her thoughts, he resided in there rent free, racing through her emotions.

God, she wanted to hate him so badly just to rid of the perpetual aching in her sternum, tugging at every other heartstring in her chest- but she couldn't.

But would it also be selfish to throw away her entire future?

Over all, she just wanted things to be simple once again.

Before her new friends, before Jisung, and before the stupid school year started.

She didn't want to deal with the hardships of being a prodigy for the rest of her life, nor risk doing that without him by her side.

It's always politics this, and politics that.

But was she doing it because she was born into it, or because she truly wanted to?

Does every person follow their destiny? Or are there lost stars that just never find their place in the universe?

It was a tug of war between her internal thoughts, battling to the death. Frustratingly, they pulled her in every which way, making it hard for her to even manage herself.

"Dad, I don't know if I can accept it."

Abruptly, he dropped his spoon on the table, mouth falling agape with the sudden news.

"Seorin, what do you mean?" he looked at her with concern, feeling more fearful of the lack of color taking residence in her irises.

"You've lived your whole life up to this moment, how could you not accept it?"

"Maybe it's because everyone wants me to be something and I can't live up to all of those things!" she raised her voice suddenly, making him lean backwards at the volume.

"I can barely find the answers to my own problems, how am I supposed to accept something this big and risk the safety of people I love?" she croaked, making his expression puzzle.

"What?"

Seorin froze in place, realizing she had probably said too much.

"Nothing, I'm not accepting the position." she stood up, storming upstairs to her room.

chapter sixty three — simple ; seventeen
"in this big world
i know i'm like a particle of dust
nothing is easy is this
exit-less, maze-like world."

short chapter oops but

YALLLLL i woke up to #1 in nct??? and #1 in jisung???? there's like two jisung's LOL THATS CRAZY!!!! thank y'all so much for all the support, im forever grateful <3